 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
|
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
3 {/ E% r' F+ W' T l# ~; T* D- Z+ ^! e* T
X4 V6 v$ I& g
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------# V- p6 h U3 G* @: a$ c H& E
% w. q+ g( O" [+ _( }6 e
# P" J( I! W6 \ ^; q, H5 _
/ |, n) C6 R" Z0 g& @* w: MTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.5 V, E- T8 F* N# j
^* p. _2 V7 g* v) h
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
. n6 }2 H, c; W! {: K: z! l) Q V o% O$ k0 ^
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. c/ l) ?5 s& X$ A e6 [2 [
& h4 U2 R. C) s+ L4 _3 F
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
* ^; _; z2 @7 f }( z3 ]make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
( N1 B# N! r7 U: j9 }" U' s( ]8 J
4 r+ Q3 W1 |1 o4 jGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
/ p) N1 w5 B% A/ h
1 m* Z/ S/ {6 a; A; M3 lWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
$ j3 t" E) W e5 A4 S0 O$ @1 b
: [0 a5 n2 b7 DWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
Z2 r3 a" Q: [' S7 R3 |7 j9 Z/ g% v' U2 q) ^% k. Z
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
R' D& `- W" h% s$ w( h, S- p( A7 M5 h, p* K6 A
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
- p Q5 ]' I. L( r- K- r: k. d$ j, w$ J# x' ?) ]
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. * R7 R5 m+ X% i# I6 T
3 s. P- B8 M& t, T* v" S# l$ `Rinse conditioner off hair.& O2 B8 r9 q2 @! z2 B( O( q
- J5 t' k5 x" m2 U' @1 rShave armpits and legs.
. a" b. ]. M& X8 ?) ]3 W0 S9 Q6 o' j6 u9 Q0 d9 g( g
Turn off shower.
' Q0 r6 U; [( C) E) V2 c' e- p; _7 E# z4 r5 p+ [: n/ i! }
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
8 G% U) e4 p/ ~/ j8 L; Q2 T
) ~/ i' P# e7 u' m% V$ N% M0 hSpray mold spots with Tilex.
( g8 n- C, Q2 @2 p8 D0 @/ G$ ^9 z( a$ C
Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
3 }0 U1 n/ {- b0 A+ d1 Q0 a. ?' H! g5 D# s6 j
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. ; {' O) @1 C4 a2 b" v" a1 z
6 a+ c, [ @6 k0 _, Z
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
4 b3 g- \6 f2 ]( M& c
# c' X% M9 D3 n3 LIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
. u+ F5 B/ _" }8 R' R+ \( q9 l4 F: {' _5 G* o' M
- Q2 Y0 t4 B* u! g, gHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: ! m7 D* U1 y7 d+ c5 L; i
* e8 n, Z8 g* Z3 K7 J
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. % t, }; ^, S% h4 R7 e7 }
' s5 K# N p: c1 |Walk naked to the bathroom.
+ F% X4 }' M" L
: e. p. m3 D- |9 k' WIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
& [: K9 | z% B ?" I8 s
0 K+ j5 ^' O* I. v3 p* j+ _Look at your manly physique in the mirror. ' J, T0 n! m0 l
' t. V! ?. ]! g7 C. @! v
Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. 9 a: y4 W7 [# X, m
6 B! {: v. Z6 G) c7 l/ f wGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
; `: S+ A; D' U/ j
- H0 G5 u; V+ ?$ Q6 [: FBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
" Q0 r S9 s7 X. {+ g5 b$ I1 `5 P3 }2 T+ u$ X& ^( }
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. ' I3 d7 }) l* I; R
/ e7 ?4 _' E1 O* d0 ~) Z; W3 aSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. ) D# d. v5 G8 `
& G2 Y2 M4 d( p* f# n+ jWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
& A6 h n7 ~% y- S ?% b! F" l3 I+ Q! L0 }4 t3 j1 o
Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
% N: D& s# J5 u0 H$ ?; r" s9 i9 X
/ h2 S* W/ A7 ^& r( S/ u6 d* lPee. % \5 C9 {! N M2 w; e/ O0 Q
! x1 M9 b* }; S. F* rRinse off and get out of shower.
* ]( P0 m1 Z% }' D$ y
, c7 E G9 ~2 d/ xPartially dry off.
' ]: j& K( I+ |, h! @8 P5 q2 [2 R. p \3 T: E, e
Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. + R5 Q+ S; T' c, C4 G9 X
! ~( R* h7 g" c, r; t/ p" E* jAdmire wiener size in mirror again.
0 o6 b& ` \- ~1 L$ L- I* @5 ?# `2 c0 U, V
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
R! ]7 z% E' s+ T% k v, S% e' a6 E$ S% l" O/ [
Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. 3 C( l& K! `: a: d9 a: ~
# u9 L5 \5 a( x5 g# F0 W( eThrow wet towel on bed. ) @' W- @' I) i( K2 f! {
- W' N; w& Z/ C! F9 W
If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2008-2-21 08:02
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
发表于 2008-2-21 09:03
