 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.1 i6 }% @/ d3 Z. h k5 I
* y; P0 Z4 M5 S, r8 |: NLook at your womanly physique in the mirror -- 9 ^9 r( i4 E+ z$ b& ?' ?$ g, N
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.8 S" c# l1 }! ?4 _
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. 1 T* h# g5 H8 w* J. ]
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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+ C/ R9 k7 ?$ ~) L' tWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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$ J, c: {: L# O! B+ _Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. 5 J x& p' h$ j' o4 k | u9 a7 `
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Rinse conditioner off hair.
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& H3 f4 `7 i3 \1 g; ZShave armpits and legs.! b* [2 i+ i; g/ z
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Turn off shower.5 v, a. d2 e) R2 |0 ?+ q
8 d; q. m' j2 i/ c: Z$ XSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.& {5 @* ~# U$ Y; a! J8 b
) i4 N- ~ i& PSpray mold spots with Tilex. + G8 S2 R; q. m8 i" N, I) X0 X
# G6 p' q8 N, p GGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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$ |5 M( h4 s' x9 i4 t+ {+ O `- D/ `Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. 9 d5 x7 u% s" p9 Q. u! z1 K
# [+ Q. n6 K" H! R& A3 S. f- j8 _Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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/ ^7 a% b, P7 C. M+ _: @: a4 J$ E$ RIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. 9 Z# U" F0 ]; A/ S2 o5 T
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. 6 d4 r1 ]8 _) {5 p% ~$ A
5 ]5 L" U/ q& S3 ~- v' \( EWalk naked to the bathroom.
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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$ x" u- }% E! k v! r9 FLook at your manly physique in the mirror. 5 K2 t2 S0 R g4 E. p" W% ?2 d- E
* ]) V' U* `4 d# KAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. & _5 E# a' m) i; | l a3 ^
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. 8 b2 A& M0 r( U6 m& b
5 R: ?* W" \, h2 L4 DBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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) b% \3 M: [; ]: \( Q" gFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. * z; R% M8 B( ^
* @! a( C$ C% Y+ d# xSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. % U$ b# \5 z- ^ q5 v2 R) J: S
, J) C- m3 e: ~) B, ]( ?Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. 3 A8 f; }* u' }2 J$ _
7 v# x! w6 @) ~2 X5 r, O# |! [Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. ( Z+ {) y0 e- z7 o
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Pee. , e( m1 D% ^! I# H: z% G4 X, [
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Rinse off and get out of shower.
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9 I: Q. M7 q# TPartially dry off.
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0 w8 O, A, I5 a+ G% oFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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Admire wiener size in mirror again.
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. $ |# ]+ C% ?2 [! `% F8 l) @
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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% F4 R# q) S" K$ P3 |* n! V* |Throw wet towel on bed. * N7 [- ]" P4 n j
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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