 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : r4 d# F' |6 B, C/ f0 o
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0 k! u. o: ]# R% n( ~1 W6 kTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.& L9 M. L( _, O& [4 u
+ z' t; ^. m! D9 g" W- SWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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& U( \6 s- K# e- ^9 z% s) EIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.- H1 R3 C4 o3 k, s! T5 ?
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- * R0 F2 Z. |5 F/ s/ e
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.) W" X! q8 ?4 b
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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6 B# E2 l- A& d8 k6 H- Y1 l( vWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. 5 u; Q+ J' ]1 Q: X8 M5 Q8 [
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..- \+ G/ t7 @$ N! S7 k. e
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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* I8 O6 ^" k) q, v7 N/ MWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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! D. Y; i5 X2 G: J j; l: G+ [" dRinse conditioner off hair.- ?% W7 M o* d
5 T; J4 i$ w* K. N& A- UShave armpits and legs.$ I. |. K( \2 f2 n
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Turn off shower.3 I/ P: u9 u4 t, T
! F2 x' g: h% y* ?! v0 r# u& R! H3 z( S( NSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.' A$ C) ^ a; ^( s8 n
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Spray mold spots with Tilex.
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5 u3 _' l# o2 c4 k g4 x3 s% nGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. 0 @6 [/ J1 ?% v( D8 M* S7 g
' v# I4 {6 |: T- ?1 X+ F8 pWrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. + i8 Z; V/ J# u- x/ |
! b2 Y( W# ?# E0 ]* f( j9 @If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: 8 h+ F- c, a# L3 b0 ~
1 j+ V4 d. j8 E5 r4 aTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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& s' `8 Y1 H* |- R0 g3 }8 _# q& h' uWalk naked to the bathroom.
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3 Z8 D' I2 Z$ PIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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" w" L- G% n# A cLook at your manly physique in the mirror. : |9 w- h2 e( J2 [- y
) k1 t- ]( O4 E4 x! SAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. 2 E4 C$ }3 Q" ]% v/ [0 O0 F
6 N p) \# U% W# R' lGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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* A( F* d' m* z$ ABlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. / y+ @( k' D, Y, b+ Z5 L
, S2 L8 u& ]7 \& j2 J& fFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. 1 `, y" A9 J4 F6 e, p* }- k
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. # _5 h' A' |% {7 p( ~
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. 4 \% \/ V" y- b( C' _
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. ' L& }/ c2 g A7 z2 J9 w5 i3 |
. u7 z. K$ W2 RPee.
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0 W8 _- O o9 RRinse off and get out of shower.
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8 A% ]8 I3 Y' `3 ePartially dry off.
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7 N3 x4 B4 n+ E8 j/ \$ V# O: H9 ?Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. / v) T# g& A- |* Q, k! P
/ K( k/ ~. B% b% e9 X) |Admire wiener size in mirror again.
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; V4 t" H N2 L5 ~Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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" T q% e, B+ t$ X$ G4 gReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. 4 s; d: E/ {5 k9 _/ |
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Throw wet towel on bed. 9 e' I5 Y6 h' e+ w, O" ?
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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