 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : + l: C% q: z! F; ~# a; A
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. 5 M: A8 S) K6 [# H) K( N. Y
' r0 \7 ^7 A- u$ W) DIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.6 g0 Y# u! R8 G
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
+ C f$ T) j& w. h) Z# \ T2 omake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. , [/ [, s/ B8 q' l+ M$ o# z
* _6 p/ d1 t; {! ~+ YWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. / l8 O1 _/ ], C% K2 n# S3 E
4 H7 P8 j4 q% f; ^. n, [* r# BWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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- r, v+ T; D D1 y; qCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..: _0 x/ {! e9 x, @6 L, r* H1 K& H6 J% f
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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V, f w( m; I9 X1 vWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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- K5 F }9 q! I* A! J, d& a; z cRinse conditioner off hair.
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9 ?/ R$ z' Z7 e5 V1 T6 r& b0 ]Shave armpits and legs.
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) W6 i4 V' [; g) sTurn off shower.
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- X% P0 L) P: g/ \% l+ [. P/ rSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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Spray mold spots with Tilex.
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. 5 f# V9 e1 ^5 F5 I( A
0 ?% s7 T% [3 z$ R' `Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. 3 u6 S2 _1 y) W( {# J2 b/ A
8 Y# p2 M0 i: K8 \' y- {( V- R6 HIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. : Z5 l6 K! v- X% G
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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Walk naked to the bathroom.+ G! C$ n% J2 }# T# w
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. " Y$ d) U5 `0 L$ u' J9 u) s. s% u
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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3 c( m) y5 M" w1 p: S/ zGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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. K4 x% a1 t4 B3 k# tBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. 2 Q4 F) I3 Y9 b# y3 w
- a/ x3 o/ F* o! m$ _Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. ( Z+ y2 p$ R2 f [
r9 W, A! ~- p1 J. \/ c8 b2 ?& }( TSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. 9 B) a& f1 F5 J6 ]
: X m2 k3 p, P; J/ k0 X1 ~$ \. wWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. , O5 M9 c& J3 y3 o
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Pee. ; \( t% G) }5 b3 n* ~ C
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Rinse off and get out of shower.
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Partially dry off.
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9 U+ {1 I2 \/ f& H; r+ O- _Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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Admire wiener size in mirror again.
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( Q4 Z: t: e6 m8 M# J5 r1 W" f, TLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. 5 a* p$ J4 | }; q
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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Throw wet towel on bed.
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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