 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : 7 s9 C; e2 Z. [2 e
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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& u3 o7 E8 m/ B; l6 _, sLook at your womanly physique in the mirror -- 6 y* @2 M. S: n5 x/ E4 X/ t
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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- C3 F- D# j6 r3 r- JWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.$ }% n$ B2 Z, a3 F7 i, w/ |
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..6 K% q' v4 c" @+ E. G
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. 4 v: b( r& u9 g1 M
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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Rinse conditioner off hair.
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& w i# U2 @& W% _, rShave armpits and legs.' k& _/ B( y3 ^# w* i& {
/ K' A: {) K0 YTurn off shower.& g) C1 G! ]* ?' V8 L! Y
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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Spray mold spots with Tilex. ( e9 r) L e' g/ g5 W4 x: s
0 y8 Q( u1 Y* i) g4 T, N% _Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. 0 U! v/ p9 Y) \# `+ r, m2 v
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. 0 r5 R9 I( R# u. E
+ ~7 y* w9 L8 |1 p B. {Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. J1 m, h' Y+ `5 k
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. " L. b' K, M$ F W8 `1 s+ }
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: ' Z7 [* L" j3 K+ d
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. 9 M6 p( s: h# C5 A
; `/ O' a8 c5 y. [" h/ sWalk naked to the bathroom.
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( M$ n, h) c& }9 j* GIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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3 z& z' H* }# J! x! LLook at your manly physique in the mirror. 5 E }+ U, i; q+ x8 B
. @- u5 {' y) JAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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- `. r' v4 D- K0 ]. pGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. % e7 A2 L0 }/ \1 l0 J' m3 v6 }
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. - v3 B1 p1 S) i" S
5 P! T; y5 Q* S7 O$ o+ E) @+ ]Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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9 o; a/ s$ ]6 r& ?: D1 \5 \Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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Pee. 8 x& u, {2 G, s: O6 ^4 b$ i
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Rinse off and get out of shower.
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9 y0 D% Q' J* i6 XPartially dry off.
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. 2 s6 K4 U& m) Z
% v% T2 a, I1 V2 i$ I* ~7 WAdmire wiener size in mirror again. 2 Y: n6 f) i+ \) p _, J* ?
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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0 e7 K5 q9 }! g- G0 T6 O) Y* iReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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, b; k8 h4 \7 ]8 YThrow wet towel on bed.
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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