Why God Made Moms!

老杨

/ Z3 f# @: l; L; q- m) k. l ) r, ?3 q' N* S! U0 hWhy did God make mothers? 1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is. 2. Mostly to clean the house. 3. To help us out of there when we were getting born. How did God make mothers? 1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us. & _2 A" N7 d  B2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring. 0 [! O& B1 C/ N: m- a3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts. What ingredients are mothers made of ? ; p7 T! |& a- l1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean. # W' |& g$ A2 m2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think. ) {. \  X; R- q4 iWhy did God give you your mother and not some other mom? 1. We're related. + V% L* G3 W2 ~2 N/ \+ s' Y2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me. 5 Q+ [' [$ R' z0 q1 VWhat kind of little girl was your mom? 1. My Mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff. 2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy. . [* q0 W+ o+ z# H$ @: p+ P3. They say she used to be nice. % r1 c1 n( U3 r& N$ ?" @2 v6 rWhat did mom need to know about dad before she married him? 1. His last name. * @2 N2 q1 z, Q4 p+ X! Y' l2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer? 8 h( ~; `) k+ ^  {$ t  f& t3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores? 4 K' o  [) ?' J+ A " \2 R" r6 X7 U1 c: T9 SWhy did your mom marry your dad? % Z! B7 a' g6 H5 E0 _1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot. 2. She got too old to do anything else with him. % x) U& A8 v5 p4 ]/ O& Q3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on. Who's the boss at your house? 1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball. 2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed. 3 g1 p. L2 ]! M2 V+ }3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad. " N9 u( D! w* A0 E0 WWhat's the difference between moms & dads? 1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work. 2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them. 3 Y, e. r. d( _: a3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's. 4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine. What does your mom do in her spare time? - F7 N. g; z  W* g1. Mothers don't do spare time. 1 m+ E; _  {) t( p2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long. " Q; ?7 U( A+ ^3 T! Q0 Y4 i " R6 L2 R: S  E. s( W# S/ |What would it take to make your mom perfect? 7 {' @3 r7 |( a/ O$ X( z6 S( @8 U1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery. # q' T, m9 k# S6 N. V2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue. , J: C  J+ q1 |: q * K+ i1 {+ @; I; l1 H, h3 i: _' cIf you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be? ! Q; P% k1 y' U$ R1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that. 2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me. ( D# ?9 H" }/ k+ ^3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.

balubalu

There is a simple reason why GOD made MOMS. He wants to make DAD happy at night with no expense!

白水

........哈哈哈哈

贾星星

原帖由 balubalu 于 2008-1-18 15:19 发表
There is a simple reason why GOD made MOMS. He wants to make DAD happy at night with no expense!

" S( Z7 y* j. ~2 m' P& h
You hit the point !

三思

原帖由 balubalu 于 2008-1-18 15:19 发表
There is a simple reason why GOD made MOMS. He wants to make DAD happy at night with no expense!

Even better in your house. Dad can make one dime or two for the service he provides to MOM. Oops! To be dead on balls accurate, your wife said one, for the quality of your service.

三思

原帖由 luckibird2 于 2008-1-18 17:18 发表
2 R! ^/ b2 g" U0 }" m
5 x' i. t4 A2 A! E9 j/ |% y4 {
$ `9 X+ o7 s' I9 {; {

You hit the point !

Hence pity on you! Because your ho gets paid for being laid.

贾星星

原帖由 三思 于 2008-1-20 10:40 发表
. L+ E/ `+ A: \& S+ f
Hence pity on you! Because your ho gets paid for being laid.

- \( _2 v1 w5 L: ?: q; V
how much do you get paid for each time? basic service?

[ 本帖最后由 luckibird2 于 2008-1-20 11:15 编辑 ]

三思

原帖由 luckibird2 于 2008-1-20 11:13 发表

5 S0 o, l0 T# y3 L& A8 h
how much do you get paid for each time? basic service?

I get paid with love and resect. Woosh! Must be rocket science for you eh?
& y8 e% K& L4 m3 N; |2 h  I5 D! B
And just for your satisfaction of curiosity, we don't categorize in basic or full. We do everything and the kitchen sink, for our own pleasures.

莫迭儿

原帖由 三思 于 2008-1-20 12:30 发表


* B& E) [  Z+ a9 k8 wI get paid with love and resect. Woosh! Must be rocket science for you eh?

$ m9 d9 w: O% c: L/ C: `2 J) ], `And just for your satisfaction of curiosity, we don't categorize in basic or full. We do everything and the kitchen s ...

$ V7 C- [; p  }# {+ U% Q
It's terrible...hohoho.. it should be " respect"...
1 d/ t8 U  \8 }
( L( P7 u9 W" V8 oVery smart answer, 34.
$ ~# Y1 r* ?' R, z/ I
[ 本帖最后由 莫迭儿 于 2008-1-20 13:28 编辑 ]

三思

原帖由 莫迭儿 于 2008-1-20 13:26 发表

; [5 O* C2 b- b% q/ a" ^0 t3 [* U
It's terrible...hohoho.. it should be " respect"...
$ n& p1 w0 P* z! W  c) Q8 Y6 j
  ^# B, G3 i6 f4 |$ t! p2 XVery smart answer, 34.

) z9 I, S7 E! c9 ^; @" |4 I1 f; ^: U* s& _typo,thank you!

贾星星

原帖由 三思 于 2008-1-20 12:30 发表
5 l1 J, E( }. R. P3 a9 N$ A
$ a% Q7 ^) t% a" {% J7 b
I get paid with love and resect. Woosh! Must be rocket science for you eh?

6 e& M: V# d( {5 P# N# ?
Well, every man says that. No surprise!
: W- I0 m. J' t7 }& w" _. {Believe it or not, eventually they get what they want, right.
# x9 `& ~& m' }6 `" O  Swithout paying cash.

三思

原帖由 luckibird2 于 2008-1-20 17:12 发表
+ w& L  c; u2 ^# u& W


: |: ?6 J+ z2 B9 T3 S1 V1 aWell, every man says that. No surprise!
Believe it or not, eventually they get what they want, right.
. B/ @6 U$ ]9 |3 Twithout paying cash.

9 E; T  ?& `) ?2 ^( s7 W% n
( b/ o4 F. c+ U: y* qBelieve it or not, eventually we all cease to intercourse, rather we spoon and cuddle, chat and giggle. You can't imagine, can you? Becaue it is utterly out of your league.
3 j- {) Y8 _) S2 b) Q6 w! x6 v; z
[ 本帖最后由 三思 于 2008-1-20 17:40 编辑 ]

贾星星

原帖由 三思 于 2008-1-20 17:26 发表


2 Q9 F! i4 C9 m6 M. G9 J, ^6 jBelieve it or not, eventually we all cease to intercourse, rather we spoon and cuddle, chat and giggle. You can't imagine, can't you? Becaue it is utterly out of your league.

8 j. f2 _& r" N9 B; s

Well, you never know what he thought.
$ t( @) @1 c* e8 LMan and women, is all about a business. Exchange.

/ `  i! f! {" Z! E( b" mHe gets what he want, you get life insurance. Right.

叽里咕噜

原帖由 luckibird2 于 2008-1-20 17:30 发表

5 M, X7 N6 Y( n# `' o
; m" h1 `; C) j
Well, you never know what he thought.
Man and women, is all about a business. Exchange.

. ]! G- u- b, S/ Q% Q9 IHe gets what he want, you get life insurance. Right.

1 A* c$ |! b0 F1 ^* z) ^
( N% ]4 {  \4 I; q. f! ?% e0 F1 ^You are so damn naive. Is that really so simple in your mind about the relationship between husband and wife?

三思

原帖由 luckibird2 于 2008-1-20 17:30 发表

$ O" g: `& X5 J8 S" q3 |
& N' E: q3 |! g8 g% X" W, X
: ^& l! _( y! V- M1 NWell, you never know what he thought.
( s; M0 {( |2 _  R3 |# aMan and women, is all about a business. Exchange.
$ a/ J0 q& I; r; ?- G% j, Q
, E$ d; L- O# lHe gets what he want, you get life insurance. Right.

) k% M2 {5 q$ s9 P" B: BIn your case, the die is cast.

OliveOil

原帖由 luckibird2 于 2008-1-20 17:30 发表
1 g" ~! B0 d9 Q

/ f- [* x+ e' Z3 T; b6 L; R  n
% I- O  j  [/ Y2 l& l! d3 PWell, you never know what he thought.
Man and women, is all about a business. Exchange.
+ B9 s  {% P2 q" K$ V% O
- ^1 ~; E0 a$ }/ n; J0 ]He gets what he want, you get life insurance. Right.

# r3 F+ r  t/ E5 v6 Y# e2 z, kDon't compare your own little bird with eagles. How can you offer your so-called life insurance? You may have to risk your life to get fed. Of course you have to be in business.
8 S2 {. l$ R4 h' h+ \7 U. C
4 f! p! N: `8 Y+ O( q: n6 \5 ~: vNo wonder you think this way though. I can't blame you.

[ 本帖最后由 OliveOil 于 2008-1-21 11:05 编辑 ]

OliveOil

原帖由 balubalu 于 2008-1-18 15:19 发表
There is a simple reason why GOD made MOMS. He wants to make DAD happy at night with no expense!

/ Q: M1 S5 d) p6 @: k! K: m+ o6 h+ J
Was your daddy happy? Just wondering... Is that why you love or hate mummy?

[ 本帖最后由 OliveOil 于 2008-1-21 11:04 编辑 ]

贾星星

原帖由 叽里咕噜 于 2008-1-20 20:16 发表


You are so damn naive. Is that really so simple in your mind about the relationship between husband and wife?

: ?1 X$ g# z& L/ W  [  B
5 V$ J; ]: r/ N! w. v! YStupid dumb fool. None of your business.

balubalu

原帖由 OliveOil 于 2008-1-21 11:02 发表


( |) O% v6 Q( k( w* dWas your daddy happy? Just wondering... Is that why you love or hate mummy?

; c/ d' P7 D0 Q0 N0 NDo you wanna make my dad happy?

0 r, E9 o" t; `Regarding Mummy, I havn't seen one yet. I know they are hidding at somewhere Egypt.

OliveOil

原帖由 balubalu 于 2008-1-21 14:36 发表
; N* c7 b  R; L. p1 F2 i

9 w  e$ F/ q# ]7 f# _4 A$ WDo you wanna make my dad happy?
+ Q, ?0 A2 N9 o8 o: W: X
! c; I7 ^1 ~& ~( W7 SRegarding Mummy, I havn't seen one yet. I know they are hidding at somewhere Egypt.

4 a# o# M2 c% _/ U6 c' p% E
I don't think people like you can possibly have a mom, gotta be mummy. If you don't believe it, ask your dad.

三思

原帖由 OliveOil 于 2008-1-21 15:47 发表

& y8 h. r* Z; R# l: x+ q& T9 u
I don't think people like you can possibly have a mom, gotta be mummy. If you don't believe it, ask your dad.

I see. it is called necrophilia.

balubalu

原帖由 OliveOil 于 2008-1-21 15:47 发表

5 W- ^( L" s/ h9 E( \4 o
$ k* v" D7 M/ T) s% |I don't think people like you can possibly have a mom, gotta be mummy. If you don't believe it, ask your dad.

4 e, ^8 ~! U/ \) W, i- v7 |+ pYou make me happy, I tell you the truth.

三思

原帖由 balubalu 于 2008-1-21 17:41 发表
' z2 f* p+ l4 G1 m" G  m

2 d. d: G! _7 w2 ^( f1 I9 pYou make me happy, I tell you the truth.

shut up and cool off. You started this shit what do you expect.

OliveOil

原帖由 balubalu 于 2008-1-21 17:41 发表

( N0 G8 N/ G# a# z. T  Z
. j" e: Z, R0 M9 O: W/ I% xYou make me happy, I tell you the truth.

: U# U  D) g* y. }0 B3 c- s6 S$ g
Huh you are pretty good at fanticizing...like your daddy?

Oh did your kids know you hired or bought their mom?
8 s/ N% |& T" l" l
3 H; g. u4 X) d! `* L  PBy the way, you may want to check if your skin is still attached

OliveOil

原帖由 三思 于 2008-1-21 17:43 发表
: ~, J( J$ o3 O9 w5 O
! K* w" \+ g% G/ u- a6 C; U* D6 V6 dshut up and cool off. You started this shit what do you expect.

1 |& A- F5 F5 b" O/ @: K% d  L( s
% H' r1 k) R9 k: v0 RWhat's that thing? I am wondering where it learned to speak.

balubalu

原帖由 三思 于 2008-1-21 17:43 发表
" x0 W" o( I* B. k% h: Z
7 U+ t3 h8 R  m: b( J0 ^2 tshut up and cool off. You started this shit what do you expect.

; M( ]  e: W2 Bforget it. you guys are taking it seriously. no fun to talk to you!
& [& l" g. G- j: ?) I
[ 本帖最后由 balubalu 于 2008-1-21 20:39 编辑 ]

三思

原帖由 OliveOil 于 2008-1-21 19:17 发表
" T5 ^2 [, u9 |( @

What's that thing? I am wondering where it learned to speak.

" C% O6 o! M' r3 z; [8 ]8 Y; H( tbalu is just being naughty. never mind.

寒江雪

According to Bible, man was created by God first. But when God see that the man so lonely, he created a women with a rib of the man.