请大家帮忙修改我的一个诗

alberta2007

I just wrote a poem
3 a: [9 H" l" MBesides, I'd like to put it in my blog.
However,first of all, is anyone able to modify/improve my poem
Thanks a lot!!!

0 a/ F3 |1 T: g- U, F
# x5 `. j* u- x2 I3 }! T1 m( U
7 ?  \3 E4 ~9 _3 \) I: R
2 ^2 C7 A7 E! u% ]- ~$ ]+ n& r2 m

+ I0 Y8 K6 J2 \7 S9 u+ T9 t4 J
Formerly,Somehow I'd fallen in love with you
              Somehow I'd found something wrong with us
' G, U- d& E4 m# a. U/ ~! m              Somehow I'd left you to travel around the world
              Somehow I'd attempted to forget everything between you and me
; m; I! ^! _  j. U              Somehow I'd considered you'd been lost in my mind
) z  w4 D8 J) W* H- U4 r* G              Somehow I'd felt that my real life was full of happiness
However, somehow I casually got a dream of you yesterday
; V  r; |4 U: ^. A/ X, Q1 i             somehow I realized you were still in my heart
  z' b( D9 }: Q0 |; q7 D- a' W             somehow I recalled my memory of you with powerful uncontrollable consciousness
             somehow I lost myself inside again
, }* L7 z4 ?* m" {Now,      somehow I write down the aticle in my blog
             somehow I find that my heart is calling for love and devotion
Finally,   I discern that I am still in love with you......................................
Basically, I almost finish this poem
1 j9 Y  M' d9 ^4 y3 g4 m) U$ U8 ?  S0 I               I am 一个人de精彩
               I am thinking to use 精彩 to cover everything.
7 A7 I" j8 @# E/ X) Y4 h; OBut........         
. z# n# s: o2 [) _: h* KIronically? Isn't it?

yoyoke2004

应该是“请大家帮忙修改我的一首诗”

卖糕的，写外国诗就得忘中国字吗？

Justing

Somehow I'd fall in love with you
Somehow I'd find something wrong with us
- l. l4 V) ~; J2 ]2 ]9 V1 XSomehow I'd leave you to travel around the world
Somehow I'd attempt to forget everything between you and me   
. Y' f: l4 E/ v: ]* lSomehow I'd consider you'd been lost in my mind
Somehow I'd feel that my real life was full of happiness
. C3 a- v3 R* E
Somehow I casually got a dream of you yesterday
& S  E0 B( r  @% L4 u% FSomehow I realized you were still in my heart
Somehow I recalled my memory of you with powerful uncontrollable consciousness
/ f+ ?& @' P0 d  L( }! jSomehow I lost myself inside it again
6 k) m) ~! x1 b8 [) n- H+ \" X
Somehow I find that my heart is calling for love and devotion
( Z# A  _4 @/ L/ l- ^7 xSomehow I discern that I am still in love with you
/ M5 g0 X2 d/ p- g7 S/ ySomehow I am the only brilliance of myself
Somehow I am thinking to cover everything with my faint brilliance

lington

However, somehow I casually got a dream of you yesterday
================================================
) c  v: C  U, k* {; bHowever, somehow I  dreamed about you yesterday

7 C% J6 e1 m( \somehow I recalled my memory of you with powerful uncontrollable consciousness
/ e+ \! R( F; i( y7 L: o7 u=====================================================================
somehow I recalled the times we had...subconsciously...

alberta2007

我用的时态主要要体现出来呀,你修改成i'd fall或者其他的,时态没办法体现呀,我的意思是i had+verb pass perfect

Justing

原帖由 alberta2007 于 2008-1-21 18:57 发表
我用的时态主要要体现出来呀,你修改成i'd fall或者其他的,时态没办法体现呀,我的意思是i had+verb pass perfect

哦，这样啊，那就改回去吧，我以为是虚拟语气呢。

三思

劳驾楼主给我扫扫盲，这是什么体啊？