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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA6 m% v" z6 x6 L3 w% m1 A, ^( v: u
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1. Bring your own house.
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- f3 n* e7 m- n0 p- i 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and0 N6 M7 e8 Q! s" O
hospital.5 z+ Q7 _$ t* V% e; q! P0 R" ]; P
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
4 l! C5 g' B! j9 {& A8 ncapital of Canada .0 y- c+ @3 S+ t5 k- U
}. N7 h: O! B0 O5 z; E; H. k 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug1 x" V9 w: F: f$ T
capital of Canada .
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8 ~' ]: u% e. G3 i8 ^# G 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is# G2 I0 \. C' G/ J9 }7 q+ T( ?
$8.00/hour.$ N8 I& p2 _3 @% d/ [
7 b2 i5 k/ T; d4 U$ c 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money. y+ H# k/ S, U% G/ e+ s a! D
on a 15 year holiday ?4 @, }4 n9 U: b! N5 W% L; K& V4 ]
5 |6 I3 C6 @ r) h 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
5 w$ i J( P9 qprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)7 g1 K, y$ ~+ c8 |! c
5 p4 {# O" X C) q( c10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come& f% S# {6 f \2 f! a$ C# R: r
here sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 121 I0 B8 P9 s1 x1 P
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone. h3 Y' E; P3 T* S
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0 L* b, D- z, E+ }& o THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :: ~0 o2 K0 R6 q& G* M
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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& K5 j; L& W9 D3 A) ]# y+ a2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
: S! t6 s5 X* }+ }" Qis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.. p/ w7 v9 l: A7 j! q1 E
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its3 a5 v: C$ P$ d- i+ l( s
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest! _- L" K+ A0 j, T. V
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
) j- q" n* N K* Bgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell5 Y g% ~) F) I4 k X8 {
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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7 w7 Z# t/ ~( ]6 _9 }4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,& K! _, U/ J2 U8 u1 Y
cussed out, and possibly shot.+ ~. `5 [7 p+ U
7 n. M! i4 r8 H" n2 @6 t5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that9 [3 @: D6 S9 W2 f% z
can get you shot.: |9 H, t8 X7 {7 K6 r. ^* ?
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
4 X: ^! |" I3 M; w: y8 @0 Abarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
% A" Y# a) o+ u2 R$ l) Z# R- [day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and7 T) u. `+ ?/ o! Y# Z- B& C
more construction starts everyday.
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,5 L" r, @- S, l& l/ L/ H
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,5 M# M+ ?* F& @ t8 E
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.' w: {6 i- o" r$ u& A1 p
& |0 t% | P3 }! L! a& F8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all C# A" S! x' A5 x/ y4 } S
the same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
% F& m% s% z8 J V+ K5 yshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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+ k+ y4 W; H4 I) x. a, Y. U10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
4 u1 B# L" I. `% l0 L+ T! tzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"+ ^6 j2 d. j/ A. I8 r1 z/ P
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur2 X* _5 }9 X) s+ Q( T% J, Y
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
# v9 L) c; z* v" { vblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is# ^) K$ b% t( r+ B( V: H+ w
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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