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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA: `1 Z2 e9 M% k
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+ e/ f! ^+ d+ J3 D1 v& l0 I5 } 1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
* H1 u% Y- g1 p1 ocapital of Canada .5 N' m9 @6 R$ `: {
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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0 ]( k' Z, d0 F2 [+ A 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
; u" K; J T" M& Jcapital of Canada .- b. v) x5 y ~# v: }( P$ D1 Y
; @" U% R9 j) x9 ^6 _3 ? 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is! ^1 c; P1 {5 p* _5 T# X4 }
$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour." `6 }! [1 C+ `3 Q9 k8 O
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money8 _6 u M' o* N' t7 g* {
on a 15 year holiday ?" T4 z" g7 @5 s0 U& c$ H2 R" n! M
7 m3 j: a# e- I6 f( {4 p9 [! W E 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
! |; M k% }1 wprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)7 p, c. P" j% l' G' q/ k
; n8 i& J6 d6 ~" M2 i/ c. C2 @3 q10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come5 L0 f3 F8 X1 X
here sick.1 B" {, r1 X2 A* [( q" i
) e- M8 c# s; G" J4 \11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
* R) C4 {5 F2 H& pyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :) ?1 x6 J3 r) G6 T6 `# w% z
: C& j1 T% g! p- K/ `$ ~1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN "./ l( Q- F7 ^- q( |6 c* m
* w7 q+ q) C( u5 {8 ^1 `0 z+ P2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour/ ~$ ?& n! r# a7 n6 N% y' J, B( L
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.! N3 \4 ?3 [/ ?1 a! N
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its2 J* N8 w) t! g( Q" T
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
# g6 ?3 G- L imuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires q- k9 o; m6 e0 t( _
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
1 }2 P7 K1 q8 }( ?/ D9 a1 ^3 yphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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- @! o8 V9 w. O- w4 ~# ]4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
( D* o2 i6 Z+ O. n/ m, f6 Kcussed out, and possibly shot.% T0 W, Z0 v; P2 X) f2 m6 u- \
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that/ A) N* f1 b2 T( l5 p6 y
can get you shot. ~5 W5 r' u1 r% j( d6 O! M
, f2 R- S v# s0 a$ v& e6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour/ l; d2 n& o4 p, I g
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next3 P! y L. a! h) F9 A* F1 l. _
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
6 Q$ g8 _* Q \/ G) D% ?more construction starts everyday.
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& W% K6 {& k/ p1 p, j; r 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,5 u5 z! O$ K& b3 o4 ?9 {0 A
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
6 }% j5 ^' d) Osquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.! m I! k: h5 Q1 }0 N! m
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all/ l" ~7 C" ?# C4 k0 \
the same road.5 C- H) C9 q: X+ `1 a
) R/ f* V4 \" ?( b$ }9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
3 Z& s. H2 [- `shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
2 u, Q6 z" q% {+ x7 m3 N5 k4 Q zactivated."6 e8 |6 u4 X2 o! R/ z4 j; \1 s2 v
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km: H, o/ m( h2 `6 a
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"5 B7 k+ F! n& W5 S* O
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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8 n4 t+ m2 E6 ` a6 j7 T. w( `11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
# T* A0 I { N( dlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and+ ^; q% _6 i' ?: K- D2 c
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is9 L' A9 |; b. I: Y! o1 a7 r
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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