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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA7 v4 k! H8 r$ W- r+ _4 g( g
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1. Bring your own house.: f- o9 ?2 x1 f. O, b `, o" g2 t1 v
! v8 }3 f5 H8 P! w7 f2 _/ S 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and' y7 t& M7 S7 Y' U: |
hospital." [* `6 a" h$ {- Q
3 K3 v) S5 r) T, X* D- f 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
0 I) m" p$ ~. T& l3 j& J9 ycapital of Canada .8 r4 K& J2 I, n4 H# e- {; p1 A4 q
4 w3 t1 w# P0 n- f4 T 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug/ P: h) }# c& c( K* }* _7 }
capital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is# d5 V6 n- E5 c" L' I* L
$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
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9 V# a' h6 ?) g n" v% |/ \ 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
1 r; b0 j# f4 r" B; K9 z2 y5 h2 ^$ Xprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)' {+ E9 _- a1 M, f4 f
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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* [7 r7 y, C$ Y& R1 N11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
; `; L2 E$ H% Q" z8 {years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone." g+ i' c+ N: G
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1 X+ J4 Y7 Z C5 B3 n1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
7 {* Z* e. M( s8 t3 f- N4 _is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.) ?# i, h$ L! u$ p
; n7 {. e; f0 p3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its8 F# C; b& g+ c Q$ m
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest" @3 D. h7 L! ?7 J) H
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
% u+ A- V1 r2 Q& Mgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
* ]9 _6 f8 x$ k e6 V* a: Y6 G' lphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.6 L: S9 u( X# i! x! h' p% Y
: R/ F2 [" @* A9 l7 U4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,1 j/ ?- ?0 ]3 o% m: S) N8 X
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
% f, _9 U3 e1 I2 X$ ?* w0 X/ \barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
" K* [$ y' m$ J0 |, Yday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and' K) _. K9 M* `& w5 _% Z1 }4 W
more construction starts everyday.7 Z9 q7 V( M$ h
8 q6 ~5 b ?5 `# s9 a3 e! z 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
/ d6 [* @) d) P( F! l/ s$ ^! ?deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
% {8 D) U$ |' U. v; @5 ~3 Xsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all' w e6 g! f2 R& p) |
the same road.
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6 p3 I8 p9 E* `, w9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the# {: P, n1 a0 B2 ]* y6 A, C/ J
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally- V) R, X" J3 d
activated."
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km3 _$ E v7 o% d- M: } ~: d5 O
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"- J, n, i: f3 }
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot./ \2 T6 ?9 p. L% i4 c# T
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur6 {% i/ w3 A5 M7 r
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and% ~' t+ l+ W7 l8 s
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is* q0 t% d% w# s3 L5 I! D K: h3 ^
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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