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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house.. F8 i% L I0 J$ c0 U5 x
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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0 @, j; l# o/ u& |- G 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
2 r2 n* L% W( o' M0 C' U1 Ucapital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .7 m; T; \+ \0 f8 `* n( A
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
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6 D( ], I. h/ \/ l) ?% \ 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is4 b! E. N6 |" z% {
$8.00/hour." v5 l; ` s3 x6 @; H& r
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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) T7 ]; R% X6 s `0 L 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
6 D3 e& I8 I8 D; j7 K% d7 B' B1 b/ Non a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
% v/ u5 c d6 p" Z' kprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)6 i2 }- a7 G" a+ B# b" P& m7 Q/ u
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
7 P+ F& _( u( `/ F( zhere sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12$ ]0 m7 J/ ?# e' l6 B
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.; D4 g: N3 |! q# d7 j
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. j1 p# j! n5 Y( R THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :7 d) [8 K! c1 P0 U5 T$ \3 s8 E
- ]! f4 z! g. B1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".& V: I/ N j6 V( b
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour# U% T- P$ o2 b* p' A
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
& z) I4 `( b. B! Lown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
6 B3 T. W# Q3 y4 Y8 }+ |muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires9 B j" L/ b8 f" f8 g# q
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
0 t1 H) e% a: B# N2 {5 |" `+ }phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 @3 ^4 y4 B$ X2 v0 g3 q8 }8 V4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
: q5 B2 {' l. }1 ?2 K1 ~cussed out, and possibly shot.
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8 `, L, o( B" _9 ?! T" d5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that3 F X) d3 V, }
can get you shot.
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. U* ]9 K, T( a# T3 k1 b; I6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour9 x5 w: @5 t, T$ T# c' k$ n2 w& i
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
! Q/ ]2 L% c" g- Eday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and% H8 B" H& d/ f$ y6 `6 C4 l& A
more construction starts everyday.
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
+ H) H3 _8 T2 \$ D1 ?' Odeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,/ t9 h* n6 g" e+ l2 h; t. ~: |
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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: Q a0 _9 A, l3 B: i8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all' e/ L7 E& R/ Q p+ e0 z
the same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the( I/ q$ r* ^- k) i' i# S' d, n& L
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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+ d! @% w, n* Z10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km( u( H, Y# e9 E% |9 a3 S3 M% |, \
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
: s- N. `# J5 v' ?) g: M( f$ \5 ^$ jaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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2 |' a5 q1 x( K: M2 k* I0 t11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
5 b: _. `" |) n; w8 ]lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
U" \8 _/ c0 nblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
- O2 E) d+ w) gvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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