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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA% J- I0 `7 O- J% D
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1. Bring your own house.* [; `& l1 q" X( s }
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and M; j. d. C7 S3 y+ L7 B
hospital.3 i( G) p# v+ H* P. p) a& O( V
# M) r" u- W/ n( S( _1 E 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
( O* D7 W' {/ c \capital of Canada .* b4 I2 u1 i w5 [) t
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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) ]& [$ O1 F9 \7 A. ?' @4 C& _) b 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug8 D- e1 V- k3 e$ t
capital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
: U' ] U! v3 Y l/ v& N$8.00/hour.
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4 Q- F3 }7 D' G# a; |1 @7 V 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.$ ]" ~8 v6 s p3 Y" V
- [ c7 \; Y, \$ l6 t0 I 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money! ]% F5 X( X8 e8 p
on a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
( t7 A" Q0 Z. C- t; zprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 122 x: Z) ?1 Q$ W: w
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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+ k6 ]. [, C$ W4 j/ T1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ". x( {- J+ L6 B6 I
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
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' q- ]% L0 i7 ^+ \4 ]) s3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its* n1 @! v# a0 P$ M0 Q( Q; f6 y" J
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
% M) W, I; h7 k# q1 _muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
! {9 b, w" U' Z. ^9 ^6 a0 qgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell( \# }4 p$ B9 D' i& o0 A; t
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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0 P* z2 Z. ]! p- i7 o" |0 C4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,$ c& S6 W7 v) I2 @3 x: v
cussed out, and possibly shot.6 v% b( o0 Y* Q0 `" f) X
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
! Q6 }7 d5 l0 m0 z& t h9 _1 lcan get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour% @ p& @3 @! r' @
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next/ [2 \5 `! L" Y
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and$ v: T+ r6 D6 m- z1 [; ^5 g% Q. g
more construction starts everyday.
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( n) C3 O1 L; O8 F9 O: ? 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
" X) S% m0 H' ^5 W7 E/ z8 bdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
~- H- ]+ m. qsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
3 J8 X2 y2 ~! ^+ w! jthe same road.
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2 W) F2 V& ]9 j; Y' X) w9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the X1 c7 G! D5 j' _6 T
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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3 p7 `0 O4 y1 p4 @% J x10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km/ d8 X+ |# _4 g4 X; N
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"$ |( X0 A% m0 w
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.0 P# A% F, { u2 o) |6 G2 ?3 Y
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur( j- w0 O# c+ a+ h% q1 r
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and7 N$ s( g. \ ?& L; a
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is' d; W- D2 n1 S) B" r
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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