送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON，ALBERTA的朋友

acsm6

NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house.

7 e2 b. W* z5 ~$ o8 g# `1 e 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
hospital.
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
9 ~9 `: Z& |! _0 \& n& t  Icapital of Canada .
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% P# s6 D/ i8 v8 K0 Q2 n 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .

; e8 B8 h& w+ ]3 @0 u, {# b( ^) ` 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
capital of Canada .

6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
$8.00/hour.

! y  D. }1 K2 }6 U/ t+ Y. a 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
5 w4 j" o8 ^3 g/ S: |" Pon a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
7 _* f' ]8 _7 {. M, B5 Dprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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3 O' y/ {+ i/ Y4 N10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
9 C% f6 G: q0 }here sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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- {/ l2 v, w( O- Q/ \9 S THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :

/ }4 Y5 }( c" d- R1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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, J# \% s" O( Q- i3 Q2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
+ q1 g3 |- f( g4 M- e5 Xgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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+ _: }% `$ _  J+ n/ ?4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
cussed out, and possibly shot.

5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
can get you shot.

6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
: g* m4 r# H0 g9 A$ A5 wday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
5 K6 C3 A! ^6 e2 \; f+ L) i6 M6 u) ^# E% @more construction starts everyday.
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  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
8 T. \4 ~" z. U7 Q8 ]) g! msquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.

8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
the same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
# Q) w0 O. k' E( n( |2 Z2 ashoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
" Y0 w4 P& U6 v8 _activated."

10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
5 r& X9 I$ u  G. `6 _5 Z% _accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
( d8 w9 S. n2 u+ T, Zlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw.

大头熊

有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人，大部分人都活下来了。

kaleli

又是一个挨砖的帖子。

人生几何

紫光

西红柿酸

HOAH

朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
1 m  w+ A/ w0 u0 x有一个人，他骂了自己所在单位一辈子，由于长期持有一种心情，一种哀怨的表情，脸色都是土灰色的了，可就是没见他作出什么成就，已没有离开他的破单位，却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。

April

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 :
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2 w3 U+ t# U, h2 z7 T) @- s此地钱多, 人傻, 速来

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: M  K1 ^/ \! D7 k' l9 g* k[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]

pacibridge

原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
. v7 Q1 ?2 K+ c' o满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
...

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$ Q- E6 L3 O. Q) Q( [ 说事，谈话题，别攻击人。什么素质？整个一厕所。

上酸菜

是原创吗？楼主太有才了，佩服啊！！

宁宁宝宝

HOAH

原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表
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2 a( ]; l# G* ?! D# D 说事，谈话题，别攻击人。什么素质？整个一厕所。

2 m) z1 a, A. ?* }2 K5 F这么刺痛你了吗？
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我可指的是极少数人，如果你不是，就别往自己身上想。

大头熊

原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
, {7 r& o; h# s! H! B$ n: @朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
) n; o6 h9 U: }* h满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
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3 `2 B9 F4 }4 ~% A. e* T" b* J你这样不太好吧！每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬，好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。
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% {" B7 [" k. n0 H4 `) H再次申明我的观点，Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。

Yang123

埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!

MyFairy

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.

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lalah

就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊

兔宝宝

以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.