 鲜花( 1)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
[! H. R6 A9 W. D" u: h2 d9 V0 y& j2 H9 u0 K5 r' L1 i
2 u# E3 v* w. | d
2 t/ i) ~- k) n. {- q8 ^ 1. Bring your own house./ h; {- h3 P! n: _2 U5 ~) F2 `
3 l2 E- X- b4 e' W 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and& s g1 Y# C0 A
hospital.
. e. G& X+ w1 V8 r9 L* R1 h
9 i2 q4 Y# L" d1 N. G2 ?8 Q1 u 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder$ Y3 O: P' V* z; }
capital of Canada .9 P; i) D4 V0 R- p: P+ A
5 z6 }) _0 @: \4 _4 r* n
4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .; ^ g8 a( v6 D1 ?% H) t- b& B
, q; _8 W: V. _1 Y5 S K R* e 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
; I! m3 q: g: |capital of Canada .. C$ [0 F7 e' o, ?& y) g! Z( V: _
: {7 c/ }. p; O' P
6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
6 L5 G1 x6 E0 j4 ]$8.00/hour.* b- v. o3 c3 f; H
3 y& ]3 W+ l3 {' W+ h) ]1 s
7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.! a J* y* D1 Y( [
% i1 r+ a3 i+ {5 s; p' q 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
' i' I! o2 B" Z& ?$ [9 W/ f Y3 don a 15 year holiday ?& l4 ^4 L& S/ [) A8 ^
( [6 j3 C5 S, E& u+ O2 p 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
: R) L* v4 v+ {( |prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)9 M& T& V% W) b' f
" w. U% F0 `( V! t& L N2 }
10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come5 y( ^2 |/ o" _) B' G
here sick.
% @) w- K1 k2 ?) [; D' m+ ]' Q+ i$ _0 W; s1 M
11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12( b! K; A2 P! J2 g4 `
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.7 i. E- A# v N* X( d
4 s, ~1 S6 N3 _6 B4 ~, p: v7 \" g1 f
/ k5 G. w2 n1 M: U; B5 c3 H4 k$ v THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
+ ^: X* u% t& l$ L
& x& f+ t$ T( i. W5 `+ X: n( b0 X8 U1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
5 l" W" R2 Y9 F- Y; N# y# }8 R' p% _5 N. U+ }
2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour1 H0 w- V1 ?* `5 D {
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.2 [+ q8 Z" X& }2 y7 x
# V1 q5 ~# G/ w3 L
3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its6 l6 j7 N* S+ t h" F- _. b2 q9 d
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
& P$ [) p, e& i7 I4 a! h" S( lmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires# Q1 |2 ?$ f. Y+ ~3 K
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
9 ?" o5 e9 q- \" r/ G; ^3 z1 Uphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
* {2 K/ q5 x7 A0 J1 D3 p3 z1 o! q C$ X% x
4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,% a P$ L. B8 I& y2 t4 W2 v0 z4 e
cussed out, and possibly shot.0 v% u! m* \" I' u) I9 R4 J
4 }9 O8 ?( S' \* a" A
5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that- V! g6 X6 E2 K. [* l) l9 o
can get you shot.
% K' }+ ~9 D$ H% `+ Q( F& c3 B' r$ K6 h9 d2 \
6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour, Q) ^7 I" `$ T0 w) S! q% T- T0 H
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
' q% K2 C3 {9 ^- ` K( k1 b! N; uday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
* q/ M- g) {) O; Mmore construction starts everyday.& ]( V9 U3 J. @6 X D, z) E
# S) u+ z N# |( e9 l# i; C
7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
" o6 z6 I2 j, Y) edeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
" D0 h$ p' ^3 ~4 {, M5 [$ j0 n8 Csquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
$ P/ O; c, S+ C& n d7 d
: q) f4 R* N& }) H e8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all2 Q4 H; h. r1 y0 M& x: b9 f& S9 m
the same road.
8 J9 D& F! ~5 L k6 i4 B! B- m' |1 e: Q
( [3 |1 ^, Y. p9 m* G4 m7 Z9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the& f5 o; T V ^, b# |6 l
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally7 _7 M c( ]: R+ v
activated."
* j' E+ Y, W6 `- x9 H, F$ J. U8 E( b& F; M% E+ F
10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km: {! Q# h$ _" c
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"8 e2 G* W) X7 ?! |' M: S# t
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
* ?7 R8 @" n! b+ S5 y) E0 p6 f' o/ \6 {0 j8 z7 _8 h
11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
4 C A9 T2 Z5 Wlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and: p% g1 ^$ K( ~2 W& Y6 o7 L* Y
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
' {" v) @$ o7 mvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
