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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA
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1. Vancouver: 1.5 million people and two bridges. You do the math. $ }" \) @0 Z+ t
2. Your $400,000 Vancouver home is just 5 hours from downtown. * O8 Q c( m, a6 s3 K, o( e
3. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations.
0 z: ~& S! ~$ O) D/ A% ^4 B) w4. There's always some sort of deforestation protest going on.
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! Z, Z4 X8 X; X! {: |7 eTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ALBERTA ' R/ q; u, O' O+ p X) @, H
) P z0 u* \9 p! \4 m! Z1. Big rock between you and B.C. $ y$ N3 M8 r% W! a1 d/ k: p7 t
2. Ottawa who?+ O3 O& x/ n7 p) \* a+ q, L7 z
3. Tax is 6% instead of approximately 20% as it is for the rest of the country. 0 x: }* R8 d" d+ L
4. You can exploit almost any natural resource you can think of.
3 i3 r; k" s' ~! f* \5. You live in the only province that could actually afford to be its own country. 1 Q" ~5 Z3 b( h4 C1 T7 r0 a
6. The Americans below you are all in anti-government militia groups.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN SASKATCHEWAN
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1. You never run out of wheat. 9 p2 b" k% w& I# e& L
2. Your province is really easy to draw.
+ U" F1 B2 e- c |3. You can watch the dog run away from home for hours.
9 O5 H, z$ N2 F, I& r" G4. People will assume you live on a farm. 6 R0 P* d0 x i& Z; X; ?2 E
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA - i; d5 m8 T# w* M! F3 h
9 M4 ]- j( d2 I# L8 {! }, g4 J4 P1. You wake up one morning to find that you suddenly have a beachfront property. 6 f7 e% S/ z% X5 Z% k& C. e
2. Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes.
! D+ k* ?7 C; A2 ]" t2 r; I3. Nothing compares to a wicked Winnipeg winter.
" ~- y! E& f" a! O2 C! N7 I& p* m+ r4. You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending on your mood.
* C e( |& H0 f5. You can pass the time watching trucks and barns float by.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO
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+ q1 Q; ]6 O, ^+ Z0 y) Y& n1. You live in the centre of the universe.
( {+ U; a7 R8 I, E2. Your $400,000 Toronto home is actually a dump. 8 E2 t n( l. Q
3. You and you alone decide who will win the federal election.
4 T/ b- V: f; W9 ~4. The only province with hard-core American-style crime. ; v+ {+ w0 p* q; l" q
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC
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- a0 O3 c( d2 @* y3 n# l4 ?4 K1. Racism is socially acceptable
) h' L# y' h- a( w+ R0 B2. You can take bets with your friends on which English neighbour will move out next.
) {) N+ e2 n; O) `4 \$ T2 L, c! I3. Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in Canada.
! }, N! F! ~- m% M9 ^4. You can blame all your problems on the "Anglo *$ w4 [+ G# r1 X$ y0 e4 K
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK 4 Y$ j B/ R% T4 u* \
& j' K( F! Y" g: O( ], |TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK
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1. One way or another, the government gets 98% of your income. ! n' ]$ U8 a+ x6 I. Z9 U$ w! g# p7 e7 [4 D
2. You're poor, but not as poor as the Newfies. ' n. ?& d b% @7 S. |& J: {
3. No one ever blames anything on New Brunswick
- x0 G" n3 t4 w4. Everybody has a grandfather who runs a lighthouse.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA " {4 W/ ~0 q' S5 m3 ~
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1. Everyone can play the fiddle. The ones who can't, think they can. 9 _; {. K/ b- F- _! u; v% s3 W' I
2. You can pretend to have Scottish heritage as an excuse to get drunk and wear a kilt.
4 P, [6 ^$ F9 i; ` z' f$ j1 r3. You are the only reason Anne Murray makes money. % @* `, j2 ?) f- o
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4 _3 \: h" ?. dTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND # V! |! ^) ^8 z! ~- m: ?
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1. Even though more people live on Vancouver Island, you still got the big, new bridge.
" h+ ^1 B1 [, z# w3 d$ \% I- w2. You can walk across the province in half an hour.
$ [8 s$ T _! U- |! R k4 v1 R- m3. You can drive across the province in two minutes.
, v" f3 E: a9 u9 N; o/ C4. Everyone has been an extra on "Road to Avonlea." 0 w- y" `; q9 Y2 W$ v
5. This is where all those tiny, red potatoes come from.
, r, ^& y$ [8 {/ e8 L6. You can confuse ships by turning your porch lights on and off at night.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEWFOUNDLAND 1 J9 Y X; H* z# @, F
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1. If Quebec separates, you will float off to sea.
$ y0 H" J& A) X. _1 s. M0 \2. If you do something stupid, you have a built-in excuse. & Z( ~& ^% J( ?/ }) J+ W0 _# p x
3. The workday is about two hours long.
# }3 P. P r+ F- h0 O! F9 [4. It is socially acceptable to wear your hip waders to your wedding |
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