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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA. e% t6 y) S t# r
" ~/ j0 F* _6 m5 G, A" J) ^1. Vancouver: 1.5 million people and two bridges. You do the math.
l* {# D5 S/ w' n# Z) Y7 s' g) `3 N2. Your $400,000 Vancouver home is just 5 hours from downtown.
7 y1 q& H1 s7 D+ U3. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations.
: O9 ` o- b" N5 a/ t4. There's always some sort of deforestation protest going on. . T# W; |0 x& W- ^
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ALBERTA
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W8 k0 Z( @! S( ^% _, x, v1. Big rock between you and B.C.
. H/ K7 P/ W- S, [. V9 D+ M2. Ottawa who?$ d$ r, w& K/ i- f
3. Tax is 6% instead of approximately 20% as it is for the rest of the country. 4 k3 g5 m& n' l
4. You can exploit almost any natural resource you can think of.
4 \/ W0 d# ?" H5 B9 ]3 T1 o5 d5. You live in the only province that could actually afford to be its own country.
7 @. b# X. h3 [* _6. The Americans below you are all in anti-government militia groups. ) H' |, _- O1 E( ^5 t5 c% h) S
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN SASKATCHEWAN
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2 g% i/ V3 _# W1 P" ~1. You never run out of wheat.
6 O/ @7 x8 @8 B# O6 Z/ K7 G2. Your province is really easy to draw. 6 O7 l5 Z' ~; x4 p2 G- _
3. You can watch the dog run away from home for hours.
0 C* Z S8 A% J7 h, X. T5 X6 r3 J4. People will assume you live on a farm. : ~2 J- f/ ?' g( e
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA
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1. You wake up one morning to find that you suddenly have a beachfront property. 2 ?! I; S ]) A2 n. Q5 J
2. Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes.
4 z0 H4 I) \$ |! f4 u3. Nothing compares to a wicked Winnipeg winter.
% t4 y; ]% n& k& s4. You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending on your mood.
7 X- P2 \2 A' k! O5. You can pass the time watching trucks and barns float by.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO
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1. You live in the centre of the universe. 4 A6 `0 ], x9 ?/ b; {. A, q& V3 X
2. Your $400,000 Toronto home is actually a dump. % g$ R/ \' L) \+ ~
3. You and you alone decide who will win the federal election. 5 j# \6 e2 L/ M0 M z. n' l' u
4. The only province with hard-core American-style crime. 6 P3 B+ M1 V! @7 C% S4 {
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC : x. L' ` X# q& I8 U
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1. Racism is socially acceptable
- L* n% F/ p9 h4 r4 t. e- q2. You can take bets with your friends on which English neighbour will move out next.
( [, y+ S( z) H" u5 ~3. Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in Canada. 2 B, a/ b# \" j. w( `: Q1 j
4. You can blame all your problems on the "Anglo *
8 M5 t" k3 ~ t6 l7 h! B* uTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK * U" q0 \/ m# R8 I5 m$ B" k
1 k+ P& n7 E! ]8 A2 nTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK
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5 ^. B# |* C& s" `% g7 ~$ v/ d1. One way or another, the government gets 98% of your income.
' v. Y' F# m; L2. You're poor, but not as poor as the Newfies.
- Z" V- V! X( c; Y4 X3. No one ever blames anything on New Brunswick $ w" r4 e9 E; R, B. ]
4. Everybody has a grandfather who runs a lighthouse.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA 8 t0 P6 V' p& f
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( v# T, Y; V7 d0 i) N4 Q1. Everyone can play the fiddle. The ones who can't, think they can.
' _) z: l2 q- F2. You can pretend to have Scottish heritage as an excuse to get drunk and wear a kilt.
: E- E1 w c5 ~7 K, h6 H% y3. You are the only reason Anne Murray makes money. * u5 m0 @' S) N1 r, P. v, V
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND , g/ G3 C3 D* Q6 W
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1. Even though more people live on Vancouver Island, you still got the big, new bridge. & M, T! ?: G& I
2. You can walk across the province in half an hour.
1 |5 N/ X$ U5 H0 @3. You can drive across the province in two minutes.
9 H7 n5 z/ r1 g" h/ L) q4. Everyone has been an extra on "Road to Avonlea." * J3 x- |' g3 f x2 g
5. This is where all those tiny, red potatoes come from.
$ n; G) j0 Z' b, _: V6 E n6. You can confuse ships by turning your porch lights on and off at night. ' p' [% I# Z0 P7 g, T+ U( _
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEWFOUNDLAND
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1. If Quebec separates, you will float off to sea.
/ n" S+ s0 m9 n0 Z+ P2 \* ?. {2. If you do something stupid, you have a built-in excuse.
6 I- `/ R' g; q9 N& K: F% y3. The workday is about two hours long.
- b* b$ ^* K5 C" k7 U" U" d4. It is socially acceptable to wear your hip waders to your wedding |
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