In the garden of my heart

Dawson

听《All I want to do...》有感，涂鸦了这首小诗。见笑，见笑！
& k' P8 o* S* Z0 `$ @  J! r
. C' R1 o7 Q. O/ @2 [/ cIn the garden of my heart
You planted a tree
' |  H& v* v( d$ ~1 b2 v. v1 r- u& iFrom sunset til dawn
9 c& S$ l$ t# f3 [' ?  E7 BThrough darkness to light
2 s  V$ f% N8 J' c3 @0 WNourished with my soul
Devoured my sorrow by thee

0 d# d9 h' c- \In the memory of my life
( z: |- h* ?! IYou planted a dream
Should the sky fall down on me
May promises fade in the sea
Sewing back every broken pieces
Bursting the love out of me
/ ^2 H3 k$ }$ \9 O$ _' t3 D
. A* y2 q! X* ?1 q[mu]http://penguin.spss.sd59.bc.ca/~mqiu/images/without.mp3[/mu]

云山水月

原帖由 Dawson 于 2006-6-25 01:05 发表
- I% S7 e: `3 N& v听《All I want to do...》有感，涂鸦了这首小诗。见笑，见笑！

4 w/ M; n( G% t  @- |$ b: DIn the garden of my heart
, d6 Y/ S/ A% s# W# yYou planted a tree
0 ~- W8 T9 I! j, e0 u+ GFrom sunset til dawn
Through darkness to light
6 Y& ]+ ~! T3 C6 j# y4 m3 nNourished with my soul
Devoured my so ...

眼没花哈。。。第一首本版的英文诗吧？
" n9 s) I  {* U0 g" a$ `- u9 h* {
2 f6 [$ u; x% _) r5 s7 r2 ^$ |写得真好。

加精加精！

Greatwall

哥们儿，你没喝多吧？没事就过来烧烟啊！

九月

汗！居然有２单词不认识。：（

Justing

原帖由 云山水月 于 2006-6-25 01:08 发表
眼没花哈。。。第一首本版的英文诗吧？
1 s5 r3 B3 u4 E" ?1 u写得真好。
$ |7 e" e$ q- A加精加精！

- y0 j! M0 S& I' y* f我曾在本版也发过一首英文诗

五月

如果能谱上曲, 夕阳西下，在海天相接的海边, 轻抚吉他浅唱, 定是首动人的心曲。

微澜

原帖由 五月 于 2006-6-25 05:31 发表
$ R) W  B% F+ D. n# r如果能谱上曲, 夕阳西下，在海天相接的海边, 轻抚吉他浅唱, 定是首动人的心曲。

6 ~. v" d. D& G4 R五月JJ这个意境，想想实在是罗曼蒂克，不过在爱屯，海天相接是没有了，只有在湖畔雪山了：）

朱顺顺

Should the sky fall down on me--- leave out "down", as is  no good here.
9 M/ Y' q2 R4 Z
Sewing back every broken pieces--- every broken piece, or all broken pieces.

Dawson

原帖由 红岫添乱 于 2006-6-29 11:06 发表
Should the sky fall down on me--- leave out "down", as is  no good here.
0 P5 C7 u( L- x4 _0 D
5 p1 j7 }5 N6 D& [Sewing back every broken pieces--- every broken piece, or all broken pieces.

/ p9 L/ a$ W' V4 D% l% e
- ^4 D0 M& c3 ?, j& @  V2 h  ^4 q* P0 pThanks for your insightful comment, however I have to disagree with what you said.
4 b5 H7 V! }4 _0 r4 i: x5 i; R
1) Sky falls down on sb. is a very common phrase or idom that's been used in a lot of occasions, meaning end of the world. For example, it was used in Savage Garden's song "truly deeply madly".
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2) Every broken pieces, hmmm, again broken pieces is a phrase, I know grammar wise it looks awkard, but that "S" at the end puts a nice rythem to the poem.

月光宝盒

红岫添乱 这喜滋滋的头像虽很农民，但很喜气！很有乐在其中的意境啊！

FCUK

thee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。

! w( I" c8 e0 [$ H) Y. [Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

五月

原帖由 FCUK 于 2006-7-2 10:50 发表
; D* O7 }; p4 S3 A7 p0 Dthee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。
2 z* L# e; l- o+ p
) \6 G0 `' _7 \* k6 l- z) G; q8 GShall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

诗歌, 重在意境和语感, 没有那么严格教条的语法要求吧.

Dawson

原帖由 FCUK 于 2006-7-2 10:50 发表
' W2 R5 ]! |9 O- vthee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。
+ s8 T9 e: X) Y: D4 c( B
+ A0 q& [: P/ X" I( t9 aShall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

1 L6 c4 V9 G0 r& ]! ^/ c
9 J/ `( N1 J9 q5 B7 j有啊，有很多经典的例子。
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. Y$ B+ L# j$ ]& M- h% d比如Sharon A. Bryington那首著名的《While Waiting For Thee》

$ l# V% S0 R, b% nDon't weep at my grave
" H( o/ h, K  u! V) Q4 dFor I am not there,
I've a date with a butterfly
5 a2 O; U+ ~  f/ d1 P2 oTo dance on the air.
If I'm missed, find a flower,
I'll be there too,
Sniffing it's fragrance
Right next to you.
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, r2 g* E- Y2 v7 \' A, ^3 eDon't be sad
When you remember me,
  z3 ^" f/ o. G/ \9 iFor I'm singing in the sunshine,
5 X& y  A) t9 b( y+ UWild and free,
Flirting with the lighting,
6 R# A% W3 v0 [: p) q7 kPlaying tag with the wind,
Chasing the thunder
Time and again,
) s1 Z6 z( b7 c5 NSoaring with the eagle,
Swimming in the sea,
6 m( A5 y6 N! m3 OEnjoying all of nature
While I'm waiting for thee.