 鲜花( 634)  鸡蛋( 5)
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Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!+ J3 G1 }& V3 T% z0 i+ N
请注意,以下序号都是1不是误写
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1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.
& [* n9 |& R7 u- ~6 \1,男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫
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1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
& y& M: J0 ^. o( Rdown.
7 w& L7 X2 |7 M% mWe need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about ) N; p1 c# m6 X2 H" V2 o; [6 H; u4 h
you- s2 A5 ?4 I- N' a) Q+ I# F
leaving it down.
2 [( [1 Q; v( \, Y+ t( _( b1,学会使用马桶盖,你是个大姑娘了,马桶盖要是翻起来了,你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来,你们需要放下去,你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去?
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1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.+ C& u" I' P! v8 Y7 p0 s
Let it be.' z9 O6 B% ^; e/ ] i3 x B4 G
1,周日的体育,无论它像满月还是潮汐,随他去1 m& b- r. s# w0 C" b
) Z" [1 d4 Z8 r& N2 v4 I1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
0 l m3 L& Z1 Q: X; _that way.: R: F% V; w6 I" R, |$ U# e
1,购物不是体育。不,也别指望我们能那么想!" w) `" G! F& S7 A' ]
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1. Crying is blackmail.
3 ~9 n& Z) t; o5 |' N1,哭泣是敲诈
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1. Ask for what you want.9 |- }4 G% ^( X% \! g5 R+ I2 A
Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!
9 I1 K: Z6 W' r2 x$ B) {4 uStrong hints do not work!
8 J6 O: a$ Q1 p+ U* VObvious hints do not work!
& K& v! c5 x% k# y7 X' O! TJust say it!( h& H5 ], g" s. w7 n* D
1,你想要什么就说
0 _$ {& S: `4 m) d5 ]+ B' z我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管用,强烈按时不管用,明显的暗示也不管用!想干吗你明说!
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6 }" a1 ~+ O& J& A/ C1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every & z, }" k. a6 A% _
question.
* R8 V' y* v+ G2 f4 _% d1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 (意思是,丈夫仅仅说是,不是,妻子不满意); _7 u1 C: H1 e! G5 d- x
* U" p3 e5 V! s9 H2 N1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's
& I4 Q5 ]2 |3 l! N4 J1 s, pwhat we do.$ ?0 J' L! R- s# i( P
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.$ s8 Y s# N; i ~! W
1,如果你有麻烦,可以来找我们帮助解决,可是不要仅仅为了获取同情,那是你们女朋友的责任。# i( `6 L$ i- A$ F% [4 y0 ]8 a
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1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
2 ]7 G+ C5 [1 Y1,你要是头疼了17个月,那你应该看医生去
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1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.& F6 H. g! {4 m* n& o. E% {
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.% N( v- E( I' Y' w! h9 B
我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及,事实上,我们说的话7天后就作废了
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1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us
2 x, S) \/ f9 }! N O0 L1 `6 {to act like soap opera guys.
/ y) Q0 r v# s7 S" Y0 ?1,如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密(性感品牌)的女孩子们,那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们
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1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. N: z2 o6 a( t
1,你要是觉得你胖,那你八成就胖,别问我们
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' G" e# \8 ~* n: e) N# J" W3 n7 c- s1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways0 @& _7 h9 b! A; m8 X
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.8 X# N; v! ^2 X- q4 J3 D
1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思,而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒,那么我们本来是另一种意思。
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* o4 Q. p: a9 |3 `(谁有工夫继续一下,谢谢)
, P, m3 [( I' |* Z: A( S1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it, \- n9 T, d7 x2 @( E- t
done. Not both.2 p. P3 p* h8 x! j
If you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.
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: o; \) K4 u) D! |( H1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during$ _+ C% z e+ _# O4 w
commercials.& D: U7 Z* \! H& O2 [
4 _1 h$ V, J8 ~' L1 e1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
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: P/ W4 B) l- h _$ b1 ?+ t6 k/ a1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
( J1 p; u$ ` y" ^; A- O% @) ]Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit./ M( a: ]% A2 X) N
We have no idea what mauve is.
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# ?1 i' d- ?2 i1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.
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1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like0 {% [- M$ d: P2 [7 T1 H
nothing's wrong.
/ u" H* x7 L" TWe know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.! m4 G2 z% o5 W5 P# l
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1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer
6 f% X' a, X( W& x7 a- }, G; o u4 @you don't want to hear.
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1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is
- h% L6 J, P- ~: G: M* H1 X: {fine...Really.
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1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
: g, {( r+ H) N3 |- Tdiscuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.8 S: \' D- f/ V3 b! q8 T6 ` x. \+ i
2 a6 m: @. [% M0 n1 w L3 C1. You have enough clothes., h* Z8 T8 D8 N: N8 x; D, G# o
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1. You have too many shoes.
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9 `) Y v2 x) q4 d2 [% e8 ^5 L* j1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
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1. Thank you for reading this.: L2 d6 h; {3 `0 V4 M% \7 K/ i
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Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;" h) k. r! D. n9 Z7 t
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.& M& b0 |3 f- K9 F. O# j, T
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Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.# k, B: |8 q& a3 j6 M0 {; k
Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh |
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