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呼应海尼尼:一个男人的心声

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鲜花(634) 鸡蛋(5)
发表于 2005-11-11 13:05 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!, T( g: a8 k' |/ H0 e
请注意,以下序号都是1不是误写
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1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.
2 T1 h1 k+ O3 j1 B* e3 ?4 N# F1,男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫
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1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
1 H( v8 T- ^4 p2 o$ Ndown.
* U: e) E) ?0 m# M5 W! ]9 wWe need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
) C0 a4 O2 `5 Z; V0 b2 ?you! B0 k. y4 _, g  U
leaving it down./ ^5 u6 W3 U% }- p5 ]
1,学会使用马桶盖,你是个大姑娘了,马桶盖要是翻起来了,你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来,你们需要放下去,你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去?
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. e2 r/ }# i( k2 y( Y& W1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
7 ^! _# t* @+ ]Let it be.
+ S# C% S; j: I+ @% v" w3 e/ D1,周日的体育,无论它像满月还是潮汐,随他去
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+ t( g0 i0 H9 z% Z  ]  {' K8 o2 N1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it( o  R8 A$ w7 O* H
that way.& _/ H6 k. j; I
1,购物不是体育。不,也别指望我们能那么想!0 z1 S) L% m! S, D2 N
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1. Crying is blackmail.& _" j0 ?; }* [; I+ q8 L4 x$ @
1,哭泣是敲诈
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6 B" F* }" l7 E# Q3 `9 W, m, {1. Ask for what you want.
% K/ S- E1 {. j7 ~' b# ILet us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!# y  J/ P; c- \2 k7 }- Q
Strong hints do not work!  k9 B" E  ~' E; g' C% H/ S  H- Z
Obvious hints do not work!  B0 K" u  P' m& ^& [1 ~/ x+ ~) a
Just say it!  Q9 ^5 E, j4 j
1,你想要什么就说8 J2 D" e6 Q$ Q4 n- p1 J+ ~
我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管用,强烈按时不管用,明显的暗示也不管用!想干吗你明说!9 r6 G, e+ y( Q  o5 Y  L

( I% j9 c9 d/ D; W7 T# h1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every 2 Y5 f9 Z& k- [) R0 Q7 U
question.
& g* x0 F' c$ F. N  d1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 (意思是,丈夫仅仅说是,不是,妻子不满意)
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1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it.  That's
  H3 N6 ?  ~" `' G$ K) |* M- W  Zwhat we do.' x6 m% E9 _% b  s) A' S
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
2 S: h! }: z% S; I8 p+ ]: O1,如果你有麻烦,可以来找我们帮助解决,可是不要仅仅为了获取同情,那是你们女朋友的责任。7 ^4 G' Y7 u/ e! W  I/ J

! |% J5 g6 W9 l3 E3 g1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.  See a doctor.4 k. a9 ]4 i& F* I, ~
1,你要是头疼了17个月,那你应该看医生去
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1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
' l" C; C0 L1 u. n% ~In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.# ?% [3 B3 Z6 C2 U
我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及,事实上,我们说的话7天后就作废了* ?6 w5 |" t) T  d. P) T/ c
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1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us
( ^# g2 l6 D" \4 O1 |" o' gto act like soap opera guys.4 Y+ X1 I- ^& Z4 w7 P
1,如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密(性感品牌)的女孩子们,那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们, n7 {! \. G/ G, D9 a$ P

9 {' ]) d0 W* m1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
" V9 c2 f, V: r7 M1,你要是觉得你胖,那你八成就胖,别问我们
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1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways- h0 [; i$ i) U; f  F
makes you sad or angry, we meant  the other one.
0 S; V8 q: b9 b# r: ~- Y1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思,而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒,那么我们本来是另一种意思。5 O. v1 m3 L! Z7 N0 f7 ~

# z+ A- q3 L( y' z6 Z, V, s. ~6 n(谁有工夫继续一下,谢谢)% ^; c! P, {+ h2 g: I! u: n; x6 E
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it7 c7 I- }# n8 m9 j* v
done. Not both.6 ~4 E0 W* S) m% {% {0 X
If you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.
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1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during  p: i. _5 H5 s& \
commercials.
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* N" v, p7 D* A8 u$ @: R& W1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.3 u) t5 F+ j* j2 U7 `; T
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1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
; v% u6 n+ D: r+ zPeach, for example, is a fruit, not   A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
/ f- C+ k: m- r6 vWe have no idea what mauve is.
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5 m8 ?( k* s  }. V$ G6 O1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.1 z: Q. w, {" M( y/ c* H) k
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1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
. n% [5 _. G! F. ?; k1 G* U' Unothing's wrong.1 s5 B$ u. i" H
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
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1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer
8 Z, b! [0 V0 N6 o* Syou don't want to hear.
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1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is
5 x2 V& d( i4 Wfine...Really.
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' T1 r, i' s5 k1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
# i" Q* H7 \/ b% Vdiscuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.4 ?- v5 N7 a+ ]' M; U5 m5 X1 H; x0 A
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1. You have enough clothes., _' H. M: X+ i  P1 s! w; o
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1. You have too many shoes.0 `1 C& x, i8 U4 h6 I* p+ C7 u

/ e: u7 I$ `! z5 k) Z+ ]7 k1. I am in shape.  Round IS a shape!
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1. Thank you for reading this.: C4 x2 ?& e' `0 F% C. D

- ~! n7 M* k/ S/ E* }0 @9 i* G1 }Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;& r4 d3 A1 P5 U8 Z' p
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.( |" |- l0 i  p, s, g0 `
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Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
7 x2 T6 Q& W6 B5 j! DPass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 13:06 | 显示全部楼层
funny
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 15:10 | 显示全部楼层
试试哈。3 C" ]) P  o; }- Y. R- L
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1.You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want itdone. Not both.If you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.你或者让我们去做事情或者告诉我们你想怎么做,但是千万别同时要求我们。你如果知道怎么样做最好,那么自己个儿做吧。* I, R- e. E$ ^& C& ^; S; f" X$ l# w

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1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say duringcommercials.不管什么时候,能不能把你必须要说的话留到广告时间说?
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: K" V- b% a) W; v) P1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.1 ?- c; [+ ~+ J1 {7 r
我们和克里斯托福。哥伦布一样不需要指导!; z6 q& F' o) E; J4 e

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" {$ L+ @. \' e% J+ I1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.Peach, for example, is a fruit, not   A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.We have no idea what mauve is.
! r, u- p$ i2 A( R5 M所有的男人只认识16种颜色,就像没有背景的窗户(这个很生硬,不知道什么意思)。桃子就是种水果而不是什么见鬼的桃色,同理南瓜也就是种水果。我们更不知道浅紫色是什么鬼东西。& C% C( h5 n" Q5 E3 H

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1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.
9 R3 p8 v& K, X/ V: r3 S如果痒了就挠挠,我们就爱做实事。
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1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act likenothing's wrong.We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
% L" o2 H0 k3 i5 k$ a( b9 d8 B如果我们问发生什么事了?你说没事,那就没事啊。我们知道你们在撒谎,可是那根本不值得讨论。
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1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answeryou don't want to hear.
/ h  ]. U* j0 H4 J9 M  `* S如果你一定要问一个你不想知道答案的问题,那么就别指望能听到你想要听的答案。
鲜花(634) 鸡蛋(5)
 楼主| 发表于 2005-11-11 15:26 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
Originally posted by 海妮妮 at 2005-11-11 04:10 PM:
! M+ ]; V: k  r- N! RALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.Peach, for example, is a fruit, not   A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.We have no idea what mauve is.
5 V' L" V5 R  t所有的男人只认识16种颜色,就像没有背景的窗户(这个很生硬,不知道什么意思)。桃子就是种水果而不是什么见鬼的桃色,同理南瓜也就是种水果。我们更不知道浅紫色是什么鬼东西。
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7 M& ?$ W/ d' h1 ^. g这里的windows是指微软的窗口平台,default setting就是大家什么不设的普通颜色设置% g/ O. d( X! ?$ Y" W

( o/ c# p/ E. j; O% j还是海尼尼心眼好,办实事!
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 15:26 | 显示全部楼层
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Isfine...Really.
+ O3 G) q) U6 K. X9 _, P: y% V如果我们要去哪里,你无论穿什么都绝对很好。。。真的不骗你( ^8 ~. V8 _) D6 B3 w
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; @7 Q1 S" h2 P, M9 b) u" L1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared todiscuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
- r3 W( G/ {" O; ?  G5 I- d不要问我们在关心什么,除非你已经可以讨论诸如棒球、橄榄球或高尔夫等话题。
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$ s9 F6 Y. w3 _( S6 l5 a  E1. You have enough clothes.
& B3 G% ]6 f5 ~, s6 g" G你的衣服足够多了
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$ f: Q& J1 z% X: [/ q1. You have too many shoes.
1 t0 X4 `- F4 B* [你的鞋子也太多了吧
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1. I am in shape.  Round IS a shape!
* X) j# U5 x6 Z/ O! E& L6 O我很有型啊,你能说球型不是一种型吗?3 M2 |  ?" {0 Y: T9 ]& \
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1. Thank you for reading this.7 l. E  s7 T3 y0 T0 D' j
多谢你能看完这个
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% z2 f  [. p/ ]$ |( b3 c+ dYes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.: I8 Z5 H7 p. }: X3 V
我知道今晚我得睡沙发了,但你知道吗,男人们一点儿都不会介意这个的,不就是野营嘛。
大型搬家
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 15:28 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 三思 at 2005-11-11 04:26 PM:% i' z% j0 c* Z& S$ P( _

, H) [! c9 Q* N这里的windows是指微软的窗口平台,default setting就是大家什么不设的普通颜色设置
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还是海尼尼心眼好,办实事!

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$ j( F! w6 f/ |1 m1 M0 d应该说还是海妮妮心眼实,办好事。嘿嘿
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玩玩,献丑了哈
鲜花(634) 鸡蛋(5)
 楼主| 发表于 2005-11-11 15:35 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
最后一句真绝阿
鲜花(1394) 鸡蛋(16)
发表于 2005-11-11 16:47 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 海妮妮 at 2005-11-11 03:26 PM:7 m  m- d! ?- r# j0 ^
1. You have enough clothes.4 h% `2 J" p# B3 G- G
你的衣服足够多了# G8 p8 o6 `/ v- R8 z

" D) v0 d, }3 ^  o1 }6 b1. You have too many shoes.
& y+ q% L. }# j7 I/ S你的鞋子也太多了吧
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这两句话我经常对LD说,但是她说NO。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 17:26 | 显示全部楼层
大型搬家
鲜花(634) 鸡蛋(5)
 楼主| 发表于 2005-11-11 17:38 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say duringcommercials.不管什么时候,能不能把你必须要说的话留到广告时间说?, y: {  Q: i' A! G4 W, u
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----这句话我劳工常说,我就。。。。忍了。尤其看《幸存者〉的时候,电话都不接。但是观看期间他可以跟我说话,不许我说
鲜花(10) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 20:39 | 显示全部楼层
1. Ask for what you want.9 T) U4 J7 v8 s5 `8 w8 u
Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!
& E9 e0 W2 \0 T; R6 Y' ?: dStrong hints do not work!
6 F- u' T; }, N8 \Obvious hints do not work!5 s/ T- M6 P- f% H! B3 M8 z( v
Just say it!5 D/ ^0 r( }- Z7 V& r
1,你想要什么就说
* [6 \5 |, I6 R我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管用,强烈按时不管用,明显的暗示也不管用!想干吗你明说!2 m$ o6 H) k. q% Z- Y* [
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关于这一条,我老公只认准了一条hint,只要我在晚上洗了澡,头发湿淋淋的下楼和他说话,他就坚决认为我是在暗示他炒饭了!
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 21:29 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 蓝海 at 2005-11-11 09:39 PM:
2 E2 |7 _; R3 D; @  M; q; d* J0 e2 ~$ U1. Ask for what you want.
% q: N) ]$ |8 X9 SLet us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!& c9 @7 {7 h* b; `
Strong hints do not work!
" ], \7 t; z" W* y  R3 TObvious hints do not work!
$ \; d" N# e) G' I9 g. ?( Z* cJust say it!
; u: W1 \6 v$ `- p1,你想要什么就说5 w* H5 R7 A, V' k& S
我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管 ...

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瓦赛
鲜花(86) 鸡蛋(3)
发表于 2005-11-14 00:49 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
被呼应的那部分在哪?还没看过瘾哪!要不,哪位给个连接????
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-14 09:33 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Originally posted by 今天闲着 at 2005-11-14 01:49 AM:- t  I! J! Y# w  ~; ~# O0 A
被呼应的那部分在哪?还没看过瘾哪!要不,哪位给个连接????
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咳,就是偶转贴的那个“老婆的心得”,在这儿! g, e/ Y" f- t

+ y3 }: ]  H" X8 v' Y7 bhttp://web.edmontonchina.cn/viewthread.php?tid=33628&fpage=1
鲜花(86) 鸡蛋(3)
发表于 2005-11-14 15:59 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 海妮妮 at 2005-11-14 09:33:
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+ ]7 d! l. C% [咳,就是偶转贴的那个“老婆的心得”,在这儿. c/ a  c  @& N% c( g' n
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http://web.edmontonchina.cn/viewthread.php?tid=33628&fpage=1

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这个早看了,想起11来现在还笑得受不了了!以后有机会一定要试一下。
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4 m, Z, o; d- u: C) L8 W还想问问你的体会呢!
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-14 16:21 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 今天闲着 at 2005-11-14 04:59 PM:# d, Y) {) V2 D; D! X  q
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5 }9 Z& J' `! z0 A. H/ X( i/ B3 R) e这个早看了,想起11来现在还笑得受不了了!以后有机会一定要试一下。! _, P2 S# _" u$ S7 \

- j2 }$ [8 \4 Y# Y& k/ F8 W" n还想问问你的体会呢!

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体会?
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6 X* G' ?" F+ W8 B回答到那个帖子下面了
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