 鲜花( 634)  鸡蛋( 5)
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Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!3 _% t% h& \, W; ~) y& g$ Z( M
请注意，以下序号都是1不是误写
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% \4 w) |$ w3 c8 h2 i1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.; B2 o7 s3 B8 a. E% ]
1，男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫 W1 D" U/ G6 m: r7 g! @. k3 h6 R
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1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
+ j0 O3 m& s6 i! d! C: Edown.! Q5 h0 @1 d) } @& T, [, b5 W
We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
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/ ~) D3 \ I+ h& ^3 s) R/ |+ yleaving it down.$ i( L/ j2 d* S: S
1，学会使用马桶盖，你是个大姑娘了，马桶盖要是翻起来了，你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来，你们需要放下去，你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去？" j0 [1 t* k4 e( `/ ]+ {
" U2 d3 X e8 X* j% V) n1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
% |. }: l8 O$ b+ ?Let it be.( N& T# A' v, z* [ G
1，周日的体育，无论它像满月还是潮汐，随他去8 I7 q- T# Y- R+ Q2 J v- i5 T
% R9 V- d/ P7 y( S+ Q* Q% r: S1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
! z4 d& z" l4 s) Z7 gthat way., I3 T4 ?# F3 I3 X& T& Z
1，购物不是体育。不，也别指望我们能那么想！
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! Y, S2 A* S) Y+ \. ]% j3 e# W1. Crying is blackmail.1 Z& l0 z5 K2 m4 Q" I* \
1，哭泣是敲诈
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5 r+ O7 B& `+ J. D$ `1. Ask for what you want.
( p9 }6 L$ A. H' T0 p; RLet us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!
6 D( g: `! D" n& B8 NStrong hints do not work!
; a, s, M6 ` s/ I* ^Obvious hints do not work! ~1 e% z( R s- k& }2 Z+ g _% l8 O% i
Just say it!. D5 f) |5 S. A" l7 F: [. |
1，你想要什么就说- \% Y9 p2 g S4 Q, z N+ u
我们再说得清楚点，小暗示不管用，强烈按时不管用，明显的暗示也不管用！想干吗你明说！
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1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every ) A2 y% b1 r7 X1 ~- @1 Q3 n
question.5 Y1 U3 |6 j7 G* J0 [
1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 （意思是，丈夫仅仅说是，不是，妻子不满意）
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1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's8 |0 z4 F. `& y5 O: W
what we do.# Y# G$ d; V% z, F% p" {
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.; E. R9 G! _* ^
1，如果你有麻烦，可以来找我们帮助解决，可是不要仅仅为了获取同情，那是你们女朋友的责任。' c' k6 }7 \4 o
: g* n" k2 f+ Z1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor." F/ i$ ?! y& S7 Z3 g
1，你要是头疼了17个月，那你应该看医生去
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1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.' O2 E7 o" e# K% F
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
& H& ~0 y1 r( ?9 a$ \我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及，事实上，我们说的话7天后就作废了
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1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us; g/ M! F+ F* u% t" K. p& e
to act like soap opera guys.0 [4 ]( j/ o* U/ p9 x0 C' U. |7 N/ u, t' [
1，如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密（性感品牌）的女孩子们，那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们( i/ m$ L% W1 N* u5 R
4 F# x) g- l) W7 @7 P2 h1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
# f1 |: N$ c) k* L- v$ i# h- i1 Z) U1，你要是觉得你胖，那你八成就胖，别问我们) b. S7 |% S4 m+ A3 L, Z2 K
' F2 c. N: r$ | U; F1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
5 w1 ]+ A& X( J/ r4 ], h# r- amakes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.5 D ~/ Q$ f0 `% a
1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思，而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒，那么我们本来是另一种意思。
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（谁有工夫继续一下，谢谢）
) a" m2 r: M r0 `6 b3 @2 Y1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it+ w" y, v% q7 N1 y0 V3 c
done. Not both.
& m, Z$ }* g* a$ |If you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.9 [- D9 y) b/ r% M) d
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1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
" a3 W' s! k0 L4 ?0 b% ^* p8 Xcommercials.
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- I+ D$ ?' X* L: w$ x% w1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.- {! ~; E* `% c
, P7 g1 V6 |) \4 i) L# k1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.$ ? H/ `; s4 B7 G5 X
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
% B. k" X# h: Q, X0 d) NWe have no idea what mauve is.
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1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.* P9 }; S% C0 s7 w8 W+ d
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1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
/ f; ]# e# _: p4 |' M0 R" Lnothing's wrong.
+ b3 ?1 Y e2 ~! v& a$ g* B' X2 }# GWe know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.7 s4 S n# k; w# S7 l) p
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1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer6 v! |& |( \ K/ N2 [
you don't want to hear.' ]: b' b- G0 g. T9 Y8 G
6 q: j8 {5 ~7 L1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is5 O K7 O2 L& r, H. ^
fine...Really.
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1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
$ [) {7 l) d0 L- X& g' o: hdiscuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
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1. You have enough clothes.
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2 W% q5 }9 Q" g9 G5 M* R* q1. You have too many shoes. _2 l. G% }) v6 y$ a9 W3 L/ U& j _
# f, O0 z( g" G5 l1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!+ y" R3 l2 \0 V1 `7 F) k
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1. Thank you for reading this.# n4 D# _6 w' G& m# d
2 }: O' d& D, a ]Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
7 D; F1 g, K8 s- b3 Q |( lBut did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping./ j$ S, Q# d0 W. m6 z& \
! q% ^6 A# m# p, T! h0 Y" DPass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.. ^6 R6 i% ~- m' X$ h" }
Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2005-11-11 13:05
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发表于 2005-11-11 13:06
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发表于 2005-11-11 16:47
