 鲜花( 634)  鸡蛋( 5)
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Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!/ k" g% n' K1 X `# I
请注意,以下序号都是1不是误写
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; W( n% g. c6 }9 G1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.
; c- | Z9 V( Y- Y* ?6 ^# O1,男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫
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1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it( s% Z5 t6 }* s9 u" r% e- s
down. B+ Q6 B3 s) p& t
We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about 5 `& { ]4 L. h9 |
you3 P2 p: C9 v+ N% J+ }% d
leaving it down.# A; N+ S3 |! o- G/ j
1,学会使用马桶盖,你是个大姑娘了,马桶盖要是翻起来了,你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来,你们需要放下去,你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去?! A& t8 ^3 U: o0 c
7 D% D- r8 ]! [5 {, Z1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
2 Q" B" D' ]8 ~/ F% J5 h7 XLet it be./ R U5 I2 C6 C1 O# W1 E
1,周日的体育,无论它像满月还是潮汐,随他去9 j+ D5 \% e! p$ T" e, D7 E
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1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
; ?8 z' K* P& U( R: m" q0 [that way.9 I, Z( h) N, R g8 o" X& T$ v, ~: t
1,购物不是体育。不,也别指望我们能那么想!
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: K) V0 ]2 w* m H! d1. Crying is blackmail.6 A0 m1 p7 K" r$ R, v" ?6 j4 h8 j
1,哭泣是敲诈
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1. Ask for what you want.
. z5 @1 o7 X5 T2 HLet us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work! N; U" u; r4 e+ W5 M/ _
Strong hints do not work!
% i+ D& `* Y% ?% D5 q& |. OObvious hints do not work!5 M3 Z" M+ ^) H# q- Y" P
Just say it!
' g; @, B1 N* `0 G7 i0 I( `( s7 d1,你想要什么就说
0 ~" h5 U0 ?3 S( ]我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管用,强烈按时不管用,明显的暗示也不管用!想干吗你明说!
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[4 g- d$ p* C1 u( i. J- w1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every
* H! h% _# G% S1 m4 F1 i/ q, K/ kquestion.! ?9 s5 Y, f1 }( R* p
1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 (意思是,丈夫仅仅说是,不是,妻子不满意)
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1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's
/ t/ |0 C! D% E* l7 p& Dwhat we do.: |* {* G0 y5 @
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.% B S( b- P0 Z6 ~
1,如果你有麻烦,可以来找我们帮助解决,可是不要仅仅为了获取同情,那是你们女朋友的责任。/ V) r1 w o) |
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1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.8 _& F) p, z% c
1,你要是头疼了17个月,那你应该看医生去3 c& R/ l# B+ P
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1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.: q2 H# A- J( J1 c* g2 {! R- w
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
7 Z8 Y& H7 D7 L5 D% b7 f/ K% e8 Q我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及,事实上,我们说的话7天后就作废了
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7 s$ w n# w' D' J9 x1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us
4 g, F% O3 r( mto act like soap opera guys.) ]8 p3 C2 C9 U, {2 N2 r: H
1,如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密(性感品牌)的女孩子们,那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们
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3 i+ B9 [& [/ w9 o2 B1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
4 _ h S0 j, Q, C9 {1,你要是觉得你胖,那你八成就胖,别问我们+ o- a `5 G' b/ T0 n" w) [9 \
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1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
* }# [" a) n; Y+ c; n7 Jmakes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.2 l# P8 l4 X( m. `5 f& g) T6 p
1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思,而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒,那么我们本来是另一种意思。 t% s: j5 u0 q/ @- J
, M3 d4 U; V. u: w(谁有工夫继续一下,谢谢)
! B6 c& |1 O% t* ]8 m" l1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it. e# B0 N5 p4 c/ o) P- b
done. Not both.
1 `' _( p2 ^6 g7 J; EIf you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.+ [3 w8 b) F1 T/ S1 Z
N. h% l% \4 s9 H* p( }" \1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
/ [3 j. ~: l$ Y' Ecommercials.
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1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.$ q6 a" L% K1 C! G- x0 Z
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1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
3 f7 c3 Y. Q# m2 v! X1 b, P& G; ?Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.; i7 K6 P7 L! |$ k' {% l9 D- I
We have no idea what mauve is.
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1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.
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, y# _( ~9 Y! ] v9 X1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
2 O0 i3 O* \, d& Lnothing's wrong.
( ?: U1 t7 ^; S( p9 b0 zWe know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.& R- L0 s9 n7 l% x, p
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1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer Z: c$ y" o. Z G7 B% b: Y4 V" k
you don't want to hear.
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1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is
W# }* \1 W8 P% L Rfine...Really.) g+ d# ^, V$ T! q
5 p3 y* q% x% J/ i) w1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to( `9 B2 |$ C. B/ }
discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf. x3 q1 M! q' {$ Q1 ^
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1. You have enough clothes.
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( c) R0 ?5 K$ `% H( ~+ D* z7 {1. You have too many shoes.! R0 b$ o! ^- Q+ r5 _# g/ ^
9 ?6 b1 d8 @9 ?4 F1 V7 L0 I( k1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!/ k1 A, U# n' G9 e/ p' J
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1. Thank you for reading this.8 }( T, K4 X6 Z- ~! f! c
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Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;" `2 y$ C9 x6 U1 u8 D" [
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.. H3 i# A/ L! Z, A
7 v3 j# p0 D: t; j9 ? YPass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.( {1 k1 g) w$ Q7 ?6 B2 g# @4 }
Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh |
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