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呼应海尼尼:一个男人的心声

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鲜花(634) 鸡蛋(5)
发表于 2005-11-11 13:05 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!) n6 e1 X  _6 }) ~8 y/ f1 U5 Q+ w
请注意,以下序号都是1不是误写9 b5 i; q/ F  u  P

: ~" }/ H  q; N/ A1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.0 |# s' y& P7 g% P  L# Q: n# q
1,男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫
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, c' b3 w, U5 t" C6 D' f1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
0 h* X1 U4 Y8 u' O6 Xdown.
# F2 q+ E* q9 X, [We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about ! H# u; }3 {1 d/ C' }2 w
you
' }& m6 L( \$ z7 w4 P' Aleaving it down.% Y- @  j, i: w% U) L
1,学会使用马桶盖,你是个大姑娘了,马桶盖要是翻起来了,你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来,你们需要放下去,你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去?
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4 u  b; E- S& J8 ?, X( S0 _1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
) D0 A- }3 _. G" [$ t) xLet it be.
) o, ~9 M& Q: h; Y  j1,周日的体育,无论它像满月还是潮汐,随他去8 a+ n! F4 ?3 E3 @  R0 O

3 }, e# B$ c7 q+ P1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
: Z9 P3 O; J/ athat way.
8 X! V% c9 C) c: s6 Y1,购物不是体育。不,也别指望我们能那么想!
$ m9 ]! h2 o7 S& k% B, D5 d, n0 U0 [8 g  E0 r/ _
1. Crying is blackmail.) ]6 k! b; z! z6 l6 I  M
1,哭泣是敲诈
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* e, J/ V* f$ X1. Ask for what you want.: `2 o+ {% C$ o- S- e3 z  i
Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!: Q/ j+ x7 y3 F; g9 M. k
Strong hints do not work!7 t4 d* {. K/ C+ x5 M
Obvious hints do not work!/ b  |, z6 n3 S! w6 w# U5 J
Just say it!
/ J# T$ B; m" n8 v; D8 ^3 H1,你想要什么就说7 N3 y4 V/ R: Y; J1 N
我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管用,强烈按时不管用,明显的暗示也不管用!想干吗你明说!& p# o# [5 l2 ?5 T0 p) I

8 i1 A' O/ O) f" |# n, K1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every $ P. V( j2 k8 A3 }7 V
question.
, i3 s+ v$ f% j6 t% ^0 ~/ r1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 (意思是,丈夫仅仅说是,不是,妻子不满意)5 R( k9 W/ P4 `' x+ t0 L: X: g

' u- r; Y. S1 n" V, T1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it.  That's
4 A( w( y8 \3 jwhat we do.
, j( ~; S& m$ T. I* j. NSympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
5 ?+ \) r& X' M# _8 S6 ]1,如果你有麻烦,可以来找我们帮助解决,可是不要仅仅为了获取同情,那是你们女朋友的责任。
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0 T. X; Y0 x. N  Y8 S# c. V2 R1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.  See a doctor.
2 N8 @) z) B" w2 ~; _! L5 h1,你要是头疼了17个月,那你应该看医生去
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8 w# Z: O) D/ u1 K9 P- R' d1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.1 q" c- K8 }+ \
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.$ q6 c& o5 f4 {2 Z
我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及,事实上,我们说的话7天后就作废了
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1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us# x* B! x+ C3 I0 N6 c2 l
to act like soap opera guys.! W1 O0 {, @' P  M0 Y
1,如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密(性感品牌)的女孩子们,那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们
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8 u3 G8 w; ^& K; p1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.9 [# s( p0 z1 |# a! ]7 A5 _
1,你要是觉得你胖,那你八成就胖,别问我们
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- O  Y' k3 Y0 _& ?1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways7 f) c: g) `( E# Z8 _8 n  @/ {" o
makes you sad or angry, we meant  the other one.. Z* w- F+ `5 b
1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思,而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒,那么我们本来是另一种意思。; j, M3 ~- o; @2 A, L+ Z$ m- `6 |7 p
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(谁有工夫继续一下,谢谢)4 w/ ^6 M0 _$ }) G, F+ O
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it
% S! p' a$ C7 Cdone. Not both.
. b' z1 ^8 I  T7 h9 x+ X$ O  @If you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.
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1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during- {5 z: Y2 w- r% [
commercials.
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1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we., E1 j- e8 Q7 t8 c
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1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.: p/ n) \* ~+ E- K* b+ M
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not   A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.! D7 A- |) s2 V' {
We have no idea what mauve is.
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4 Z) D  y, y/ B/ |$ G$ N% b! C1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.5 s$ p) h& @, ^$ u+ Q/ m" ?$ K

& r+ q) F( N  `( g$ z& |8 S; X1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
5 s/ G5 X# }7 x$ K4 t! Mnothing's wrong.% S" o0 s" G# w- [$ a
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
+ a! H% V3 w6 C; K8 ]+ G& ?$ x% W4 B  r8 x" g" r  W8 ~+ E! b( e2 B
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer3 R' q4 l+ w. W
you don't want to hear.
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1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is5 [4 Z6 z2 r2 E% h0 z
fine...Really.
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1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
/ R' r! W# }7 p# vdiscuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
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+ i) ~, s  s+ f1 V# X: E1. You have enough clothes.
+ @) c6 z& x0 y- s& F, p
7 g3 I  p, ^' u1. You have too many shoes.
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1. I am in shape.  Round IS a shape!5 |4 N2 O# O& x/ [3 |/ h/ _& ^
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1. Thank you for reading this., h4 r( \/ n, L% ^

% P+ C& Z+ H4 D8 e+ fYes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;/ a$ I6 V; z+ Q" x2 b+ g3 v
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.8 _4 m8 X  z0 }
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Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh./ q$ ^: `8 c* Z8 j( g2 C# [) V  Y
Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 13:06 | 显示全部楼层
funny
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 15:10 | 显示全部楼层
试试哈。4 v, X3 q: e) T& K$ o- b! U6 |
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1.You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want itdone. Not both.If you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.你或者让我们去做事情或者告诉我们你想怎么做,但是千万别同时要求我们。你如果知道怎么样做最好,那么自己个儿做吧。
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1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say duringcommercials.不管什么时候,能不能把你必须要说的话留到广告时间说?: [" g2 {7 h; @) Z5 S1 r  t+ r* a* K

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1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
( S* o2 Q+ u: m8 z1 ]我们和克里斯托福。哥伦布一样不需要指导!# X7 T  N" o" C! c0 `

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1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.Peach, for example, is a fruit, not   A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.We have no idea what mauve is.
; q! L$ y  R8 }# {所有的男人只认识16种颜色,就像没有背景的窗户(这个很生硬,不知道什么意思)。桃子就是种水果而不是什么见鬼的桃色,同理南瓜也就是种水果。我们更不知道浅紫色是什么鬼东西。  `2 f; d1 o. L6 L9 [

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1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.
$ p: F( W/ P* x% q! `  W+ h如果痒了就挠挠,我们就爱做实事。
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1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act likenothing's wrong.We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.( @. G7 g8 ^$ e5 y: C- G- C8 H
如果我们问发生什么事了?你说没事,那就没事啊。我们知道你们在撒谎,可是那根本不值得讨论。
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1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answeryou don't want to hear.
9 Q6 k( A* G5 V4 o1 v$ g, ~9 m如果你一定要问一个你不想知道答案的问题,那么就别指望能听到你想要听的答案。
鲜花(634) 鸡蛋(5)
 楼主| 发表于 2005-11-11 15:26 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
Originally posted by 海妮妮 at 2005-11-11 04:10 PM:
' E( @& N2 n8 _# ]& |ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.Peach, for example, is a fruit, not   A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.We have no idea what mauve is.# e7 ?7 A5 N* Y$ W* i; w6 Y
所有的男人只认识16种颜色,就像没有背景的窗户(这个很生硬,不知道什么意思)。桃子就是种水果而不是什么见鬼的桃色,同理南瓜也就是种水果。我们更不知道浅紫色是什么鬼东西。/ Q7 F% g5 J3 H& H" X

" G3 K, J# ?0 m( v8 D4 P& ]这里的windows是指微软的窗口平台,default setting就是大家什么不设的普通颜色设置6 Z7 }( \' c: x

6 ~2 e* N  a& }9 ~/ h还是海尼尼心眼好,办实事!
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 15:26 | 显示全部楼层
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Isfine...Really.) l" D4 y" J7 r/ |- x  l  {) c
如果我们要去哪里,你无论穿什么都绝对很好。。。真的不骗你
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9 _+ Z6 r$ t! j( m9 w1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared todiscuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.9 k% u* M& i( a+ L
不要问我们在关心什么,除非你已经可以讨论诸如棒球、橄榄球或高尔夫等话题。
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- T, H4 q7 D; h  ^1. You have enough clothes.
% j$ u1 O, ~7 z$ j( {. z你的衣服足够多了$ o( v. ]! B' j) ~1 G& h

* `4 R# L1 Y2 L1. You have too many shoes.7 y: P  s( K2 k& c* W# j, ?
你的鞋子也太多了吧
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1. I am in shape.  Round IS a shape!
: W9 ?4 f% r* R% Y/ b/ _我很有型啊,你能说球型不是一种型吗?
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9 k  o' i2 v( t1 Q+ p" T: T9 c. ^1. Thank you for reading this.
7 Y) B# n, X3 b  U# j1 J; ?+ p多谢你能看完这个) d$ A9 D) \$ ?0 F& j( k: g

, S% F  }, _. C* ]# S0 m& H: HYes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.) w% ^& K# k5 i
我知道今晚我得睡沙发了,但你知道吗,男人们一点儿都不会介意这个的,不就是野营嘛。
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 15:28 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 三思 at 2005-11-11 04:26 PM:
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这里的windows是指微软的窗口平台,default setting就是大家什么不设的普通颜色设置. e" ^; @8 R& G8 K5 c

6 v1 `( F) s4 U5 @; w( a; g还是海尼尼心眼好,办实事!
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应该说还是海妮妮心眼实,办好事。嘿嘿
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, N: ~3 N# V# k" z8 [. X; \玩玩,献丑了哈
鲜花(634) 鸡蛋(5)
 楼主| 发表于 2005-11-11 15:35 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
最后一句真绝阿
鲜花(1394) 鸡蛋(16)
发表于 2005-11-11 16:47 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 海妮妮 at 2005-11-11 03:26 PM:
$ R( N- f5 u( T1. You have enough clothes.; I+ B! C: l2 Y" f  e( c6 P1 j5 l
你的衣服足够多了, n, f, D  J- t% O6 n, ^: P
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1. You have too many shoes./ i+ m8 C. v; f6 Z- J
你的鞋子也太多了吧

' D1 \0 K8 U2 |# T7 l这两句话我经常对LD说,但是她说NO。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 17:26 | 显示全部楼层
鲜花(634) 鸡蛋(5)
 楼主| 发表于 2005-11-11 17:38 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say duringcommercials.不管什么时候,能不能把你必须要说的话留到广告时间说?9 V& G+ ?4 k# S8 m/ |/ ]

4 k' C$ K5 C5 M( }' H0 k, Q, j, h  t----这句话我劳工常说,我就。。。。忍了。尤其看《幸存者〉的时候,电话都不接。但是观看期间他可以跟我说话,不许我说
鲜花(10) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 20:39 | 显示全部楼层
1. Ask for what you want.
( ?+ T: ?4 K* `0 q& s& HLet us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!
0 [& z6 D& V4 p" v5 T4 aStrong hints do not work!: V1 v& W6 d* _5 Q
Obvious hints do not work!
$ S% V$ ~+ P8 Y' s, ^% AJust say it!
5 A0 T8 Z- ^5 \: E1,你想要什么就说
; w" U3 W- t1 }5 e+ R) @' T我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管用,强烈按时不管用,明显的暗示也不管用!想干吗你明说!8 [; h$ a! e* K' @" v( ^3 z. ~2 }

, `; f( w. B/ a) `! [: c6 F关于这一条,我老公只认准了一条hint,只要我在晚上洗了澡,头发湿淋淋的下楼和他说话,他就坚决认为我是在暗示他炒饭了!
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 21:29 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 蓝海 at 2005-11-11 09:39 PM:
/ i9 j0 h# x- Z1. Ask for what you want.  L: J  E  i! s) A0 _5 r0 M
Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!
  k; h9 X5 y9 y* F& Q# cStrong hints do not work!
8 [+ ^6 j3 C. v. gObvious hints do not work!
$ Y) G' g+ A% n& Y( w7 q( G- HJust say it!
: }" i2 ]. ]& v* E1,你想要什么就说; {) y, w+ X! l/ e8 Q& w9 k
我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管 ...

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瓦赛
鲜花(86) 鸡蛋(3)
发表于 2005-11-14 00:49 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
被呼应的那部分在哪?还没看过瘾哪!要不,哪位给个连接????
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-14 09:33 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Originally posted by 今天闲着 at 2005-11-14 01:49 AM:
" A. r+ {+ ]4 z! ^* Y被呼应的那部分在哪?还没看过瘾哪!要不,哪位给个连接????
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咳,就是偶转贴的那个“老婆的心得”,在这儿
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( u& t! A- |5 L8 [2 Z7 @http://web.edmontonchina.cn/viewthread.php?tid=33628&fpage=1
鲜花(86) 鸡蛋(3)
发表于 2005-11-14 15:59 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 海妮妮 at 2005-11-14 09:33:) [3 K  f! ]+ R$ _+ ^4 |9 X
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- t4 z. Z. J0 K: X咳,就是偶转贴的那个“老婆的心得”,在这儿; Q% H7 b. C3 K, t) t& E
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http://web.edmontonchina.cn/viewthread.php?tid=33628&fpage=1
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* g6 w& Z) ?& S4 R这个早看了,想起11来现在还笑得受不了了!以后有机会一定要试一下。
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还想问问你的体会呢!
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-14 16:21 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 今天闲着 at 2005-11-14 04:59 PM:" [) @) ^- Z3 d$ N, e
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这个早看了,想起11来现在还笑得受不了了!以后有机会一定要试一下。
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还想问问你的体会呢!

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' _7 m" X2 S7 a4 s% @  a体会?
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