 鲜花( 634)  鸡蛋( 5)
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Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
5 J7 h, i5 h& |请注意,以下序号都是1不是误写- z" x' J0 w) Y& h
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1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.
( j3 [. {5 ]# ?) I1 n8 ^" l1,男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫
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) H- E: H/ m5 g9 }1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it h, z& L! [4 w0 M% @8 l+ {# f) Z
down.
5 D% C$ U; U1 t5 B3 VWe need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about + x" R- a$ S' R' _- I
you
1 w0 Y' ?3 L) U5 xleaving it down.
& S, M) J* l# I1,学会使用马桶盖,你是个大姑娘了,马桶盖要是翻起来了,你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来,你们需要放下去,你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去?
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! c) h- X0 Z! r% l1 B8 y" ]7 f1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
) B' s2 o6 H6 H+ T! ?+ `4 lLet it be.
L9 J) c2 e- s: S1,周日的体育,无论它像满月还是潮汐,随他去
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1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
/ m3 w$ g" ]/ Q' B0 Ythat way.3 S& K) P$ X. t" j' f# X& U: P" I
1,购物不是体育。不,也别指望我们能那么想!) ~/ h# j8 t8 |0 ^# w7 w
' \: Z: h, |6 Y1. Crying is blackmail.
8 c6 M, H7 v1 b$ i( X2 Y+ S1,哭泣是敲诈/ G2 `, i1 W% W, O, V$ K* E( w
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1. Ask for what you want.
9 d9 p& o- c) d/ G% PLet us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!
. q+ j" K* v0 g3 QStrong hints do not work!
* Q) V3 Q! O. W* dObvious hints do not work!
4 W" }4 b+ F* HJust say it!% A; |4 I3 Q- j
1,你想要什么就说. B1 n6 E1 }6 ~4 t" P* q
我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管用,强烈按时不管用,明显的暗示也不管用!想干吗你明说!0 v$ K2 o$ _" M g. c
! ~1 h3 K$ G2 D8 l: p) u4 b1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every . h! A0 T; T$ n4 L
question.% i4 Y. @5 P7 [( T* v; J" [2 y
1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 (意思是,丈夫仅仅说是,不是,妻子不满意) b9 a8 H4 [1 X
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1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's3 N3 s( Y1 [8 r" ]
what we do.7 l7 N( p% r# z( f4 G
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.9 @. u/ A7 u, m8 D
1,如果你有麻烦,可以来找我们帮助解决,可是不要仅仅为了获取同情,那是你们女朋友的责任。
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& l& k8 c7 ~ P, h1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
0 D8 t; V- B. b# g- }+ O1,你要是头疼了17个月,那你应该看医生去
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1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
# E* @, l8 X) |7 G, r: V# `+ KIn fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.- v" M1 T' S. N* z: u; i1 m$ K
我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及,事实上,我们说的话7天后就作废了
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! u' Q" A- f0 t& p( ~- m2 W1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us
6 w3 v l0 T+ s- Sto act like soap opera guys.7 A3 k3 t4 O5 \8 b2 R5 M
1,如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密(性感品牌)的女孩子们,那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们
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1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
: J$ J2 L. |6 F) l" ~1,你要是觉得你胖,那你八成就胖,别问我们
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. H6 |" U! q+ o0 f5 c1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways+ {+ l, o% I7 ?8 P @
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.1 Y H( R ]! X+ {
1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思,而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒,那么我们本来是另一种意思。
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(谁有工夫继续一下,谢谢)/ @& f) W2 P5 Y! o/ u( G
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it
! f; l0 M* `; S' }; ]8 gdone. Not both.0 _" w- n3 ?8 L% j; S) @5 S
If you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.
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5 X& ]1 U5 F$ ?1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during9 w" Q: _* U. V' Z3 X( O
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1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
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l) J k6 |9 J Y1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
1 \1 h6 I ^) C( l( _! ~& Z1 ]( YPeach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.2 Y u6 w5 Y) c8 @# v% R
We have no idea what mauve is.
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1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.$ ~# q& U. _. q/ O
6 X5 L* P8 }5 V; D0 h1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
( E g* O" y W k9 nnothing's wrong.0 W) A4 C2 R! p9 @' m( I* W
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. z! V3 u6 N$ _& z5 n I
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1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer
& x! g' s5 {8 m+ Gyou don't want to hear.
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1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is
. D+ m5 k. f/ D9 j/ I0 X; ~, qfine...Really.
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5 y2 v) S% [3 p2 n5 Q& D; `1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to& q; O; x" ^* W, P' C" h
discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.# S1 m) D* F% v/ S
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1. You have enough clothes.6 h: }: E* V) R! x
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1. You have too many shoes.: q5 z) N3 ]! T* l4 G" U
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1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!: t. m$ \; _! c$ A6 x
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1. Thank you for reading this.
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Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;0 F' H Y: h8 x/ I6 w9 D
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
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Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
9 y4 S$ r E% k/ }: d# L2 D$ aPass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh |
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