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呼应海尼尼:一个男人的心声

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鲜花(634) 鸡蛋(5)
发表于 2005-11-11 13:05 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!+ J3 G1 }& V3 T% z0 i+ N
请注意,以下序号都是1不是误写
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1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.
& [* n9 |& R7 u- ~6 \1,男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫
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1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
& y& M: J0 ^. o( Rdown.
7 w& L7 X2 |7 M% mWe need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about ) N; p1 c# m6 X2 H" V2 o; [6 H; u4 h
you- s2 A5 ?4 I- N' a) Q+ I# F
leaving it down.
2 [( [1 Q; v( \, Y+ t( _( b1,学会使用马桶盖,你是个大姑娘了,马桶盖要是翻起来了,你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来,你们需要放下去,你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去?
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1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.+ C& u" I' P! v8 Y7 p0 s
Let it be.' z9 O6 B% ^; e/ ]  i3 x  B4 G
1,周日的体育,无论它像满月还是潮汐,随他去1 m& b- r. s# w0 C" b

) Z" [1 d4 Z8 r& N2 v4 I1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
0 l  m3 L& Z1 Q: X; _that way.: R: F% V; w6 I" R, |$ U# e
1,购物不是体育。不,也别指望我们能那么想!" w) `" G! F& S7 A' ]
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1. Crying is blackmail.
3 ~9 n& Z) t; o5 |' N1,哭泣是敲诈
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1. Ask for what you want.9 |- }4 G% ^( X% \! g5 R+ I2 A
Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!
9 I1 K: Z6 W' r2 x$ B) {4 uStrong hints do not work!
8 J6 O: a$ Q1 p+ U* VObvious hints do not work!
& K& v! c5 x% k# y7 X' O! TJust say it!( h& H5 ], g" s. w7 n* D
1,你想要什么就说
0 _$ {& S: `4 m) d5 ]+ B' z我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管用,强烈按时不管用,明显的暗示也不管用!想干吗你明说!
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6 }" a1 ~+ O& J& A/ C1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every & z, }" k. a6 A% _
question.
* R8 V' y* v+ G2 f4 _% d1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 (意思是,丈夫仅仅说是,不是,妻子不满意); _7 u1 C: H1 e! G5 d- x

* U" p3 e5 V! s9 H2 N1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it.  That's
& I4 Q5 ]2 |3 l! N4 J1 s, pwhat we do.$ ?0 J' L! R- s# i( P
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.$ s8 Y  s# N; i  ~! W
1,如果你有麻烦,可以来找我们帮助解决,可是不要仅仅为了获取同情,那是你们女朋友的责任。# i( `6 L$ i- A$ F% [4 y0 ]8 a
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1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.  See a doctor.
2 ]7 G+ C5 [1 Y1,你要是头疼了17个月,那你应该看医生去
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1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.& F6 H. g! {4 m* n& o. E% {
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.% N( v- E( I' Y' w! h9 B
我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及,事实上,我们说的话7天后就作废了
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1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us
2 x, S) \/ f9 }! N  O0 L1 `6 {to act like soap opera guys.
/ y) Q0 r  v# s7 S" Y0 ?1,如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密(性感品牌)的女孩子们,那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们
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1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.  N: z2 o6 a( t
1,你要是觉得你胖,那你八成就胖,别问我们
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' G" e# \8 ~* n: e) N# J" W3 n7 c- s1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways0 @& _7 h9 b! A; m8 X
makes you sad or angry, we meant  the other one.8 X# N; v! ^2 X- q4 J3 D
1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思,而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒,那么我们本来是另一种意思。
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* o4 Q. p: a9 |3 `(谁有工夫继续一下,谢谢)
, P, m3 [( I' |* Z: A( S1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it, \- n9 T, d7 x2 @( E- t
done. Not both.2 p. P3 p* h8 x! j
If you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.
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: o; \) K4 u) D! |( H1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during$ _+ C% z  e+ _# O4 w
commercials.& D: U7 Z* \! H& O2 [

4 _1 h$ V, J8 ~' L1 e1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
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: P/ W4 B) l- h  _$ b1 ?+ t6 k/ a1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
( J1 p; u$ `  y" ^; A- O% @) ]Peach, for example, is a fruit, not   A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit./ M( a: ]% A2 X) N
We have no idea what mauve is.
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# ?1 i' d- ?2 i1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.
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1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like0 {% [- M$ d: P2 [7 T1 H
nothing's wrong.
/ u" H* x7 L" TWe know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.! m4 G2 z% o5 W5 P# l
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1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer
6 f% X' a, X( W& x7 a- }, G; o  u4 @you don't want to hear.
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1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is
- h% L6 J, P- ~: G: M* H1 X: {fine...Really.
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1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
: g, {( r+ H) N3 |- Tdiscuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.8 S: \' D- f/ V3 b! q8 T6 `  x. \+ i

2 a6 m: @. [% M0 n1 w  L3 C1. You have enough clothes., h* Z8 T8 D8 N: N8 x; D, G# o
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1. You have too many shoes.
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9 `) Y  v2 x) q4 d2 [% e8 ^5 L* j1. I am in shape.  Round IS a shape!
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1. Thank you for reading this.: L2 d6 h; {3 `0 V4 M% \7 K/ i
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Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;" h) k. r! D. n9 Z7 t
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.& M& b0 |3 f- K9 F. O# j, T
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Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.# k, B: |8 q& a3 j6 M0 {; k
Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 13:06 | 显示全部楼层
funny
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 15:10 | 显示全部楼层
试试哈。8 T7 q1 j# c4 p& j# w
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1.You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want itdone. Not both.If you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.你或者让我们去做事情或者告诉我们你想怎么做,但是千万别同时要求我们。你如果知道怎么样做最好,那么自己个儿做吧。
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1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say duringcommercials.不管什么时候,能不能把你必须要说的话留到广告时间说?0 F: z3 i, s) x% }, M( I: h& }

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0 }2 f* E7 g% z: b9 q1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
6 a/ [" R, `" z$ h我们和克里斯托福。哥伦布一样不需要指导!
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. q" Z# L! W5 k6 G1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.Peach, for example, is a fruit, not   A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.We have no idea what mauve is." E8 k7 \7 u. C
所有的男人只认识16种颜色,就像没有背景的窗户(这个很生硬,不知道什么意思)。桃子就是种水果而不是什么见鬼的桃色,同理南瓜也就是种水果。我们更不知道浅紫色是什么鬼东西。
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1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that./ y* L9 V- e7 g, _( x
如果痒了就挠挠,我们就爱做实事。
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% X1 _! h$ v+ J2 D6 ~6 d9 |5 c3 z' C1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act likenothing's wrong.We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
) _- R$ [9 |% E* Y3 E: s2 y7 }如果我们问发生什么事了?你说没事,那就没事啊。我们知道你们在撒谎,可是那根本不值得讨论。& V1 o4 q) q8 @1 ^) d7 J

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6 _- N5 l0 v+ G/ h& z, A& l8 y1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answeryou don't want to hear.
* d9 P$ w' ^6 e! H. A如果你一定要问一个你不想知道答案的问题,那么就别指望能听到你想要听的答案。
鲜花(634) 鸡蛋(5)
 楼主| 发表于 2005-11-11 15:26 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
Originally posted by 海妮妮 at 2005-11-11 04:10 PM:% Q' a- p3 Q* M+ ~: O% d  k3 `
ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.Peach, for example, is a fruit, not   A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.We have no idea what mauve is.! E) x) t8 d) y# G- j( l0 w5 v( j) U
所有的男人只认识16种颜色,就像没有背景的窗户(这个很生硬,不知道什么意思)。桃子就是种水果而不是什么见鬼的桃色,同理南瓜也就是种水果。我们更不知道浅紫色是什么鬼东西。
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这里的windows是指微软的窗口平台,default setting就是大家什么不设的普通颜色设置! ~; q6 ]+ Z1 T: O! O3 q0 y

7 ~1 e# }0 s4 ^还是海尼尼心眼好,办实事!
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 15:26 | 显示全部楼层
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Isfine...Really.
8 i3 q5 `) X  [: j# \( z' \" j2 I& ]如果我们要去哪里,你无论穿什么都绝对很好。。。真的不骗你
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, ~8 i, f( H; u. Y9 P! `( ?% v, ~* E1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared todiscuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.3 [7 M/ q! b* L  H
不要问我们在关心什么,除非你已经可以讨论诸如棒球、橄榄球或高尔夫等话题。
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1. You have enough clothes.6 T* g( h2 i1 W* s% p2 K
你的衣服足够多了: Q+ m, C% C: G5 r( [7 w0 J

! ]. z  I. g0 J1. You have too many shoes.
* [7 |6 Z6 A+ V+ n; U( W& Q* \你的鞋子也太多了吧, N. g; W; Y- B# H$ J6 t' \4 x5 a

5 ~4 u- s& K! K6 W1. I am in shape.  Round IS a shape!! V& n0 l* E) ]0 }3 j0 x
我很有型啊,你能说球型不是一种型吗?
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1. Thank you for reading this." b- g' X! Z3 L! ^1 {
多谢你能看完这个; p; H  z+ ~. ^! F" m

4 i  \  s. x  C$ c1 g5 hYes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
5 Z( B4 {+ p) M2 H我知道今晚我得睡沙发了,但你知道吗,男人们一点儿都不会介意这个的,不就是野营嘛。
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 15:28 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 三思 at 2005-11-11 04:26 PM:
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  D* ?- O0 _, ~7 b, _6 D这里的windows是指微软的窗口平台,default setting就是大家什么不设的普通颜色设置
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) D  n% v  N& r, r% z# g还是海尼尼心眼好,办实事!
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应该说还是海妮妮心眼实,办好事。嘿嘿
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玩玩,献丑了哈
鲜花(634) 鸡蛋(5)
 楼主| 发表于 2005-11-11 15:35 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
最后一句真绝阿
鲜花(1394) 鸡蛋(16)
发表于 2005-11-11 16:47 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 海妮妮 at 2005-11-11 03:26 PM:8 ?' M; T4 W5 r4 }* i7 y* |) L
1. You have enough clothes.% p$ J! D. [- I; e0 I
你的衣服足够多了% \/ W& |0 G& N/ p3 A0 u% Y

  Q+ r( L* V7 `, i% S& [& U1. You have too many shoes.
! i5 u& s2 `, Z7 K4 [* y$ ~你的鞋子也太多了吧

$ t) F% s) \5 `" D4 F- B: K0 r& W这两句话我经常对LD说,但是她说NO。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 17:26 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
鲜花(634) 鸡蛋(5)
 楼主| 发表于 2005-11-11 17:38 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say duringcommercials.不管什么时候,能不能把你必须要说的话留到广告时间说?
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# p. ^$ i* z# l( m----这句话我劳工常说,我就。。。。忍了。尤其看《幸存者〉的时候,电话都不接。但是观看期间他可以跟我说话,不许我说
鲜花(10) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 20:39 | 显示全部楼层
1. Ask for what you want.
1 r: H2 x! @2 S4 J& WLet us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!
/ t$ {' M0 \6 ?$ z! y; p: e1 CStrong hints do not work!
% q: T* I" O% J  j& y- eObvious hints do not work!# M9 u" [( q8 m4 }* U
Just say it!3 C6 P% w( Y) r$ r
1,你想要什么就说1 H" V& n* g$ n/ R! e) S
我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管用,强烈按时不管用,明显的暗示也不管用!想干吗你明说!
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关于这一条,我老公只认准了一条hint,只要我在晚上洗了澡,头发湿淋淋的下楼和他说话,他就坚决认为我是在暗示他炒饭了!
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 21:29 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 蓝海 at 2005-11-11 09:39 PM:( B% A) H/ `2 b# r1 n& [# [
1. Ask for what you want.
" L* S7 I  P0 m: N! YLet us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!
# m1 A. L8 r, A. M) z  ?8 f3 AStrong hints do not work!: ~5 q0 T* G  ]5 p5 x
Obvious hints do not work!
0 s0 _1 `+ ~% F6 ^: p! MJust say it!; g3 k! x3 ?8 o# G; I5 E( N& ?
1,你想要什么就说7 ^) n& \% {; n; S$ s9 ~+ t
我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管 ...
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. v! u( n, r2 F, P7 z: G3 h瓦赛
鲜花(86) 鸡蛋(3)
发表于 2005-11-14 00:49 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
被呼应的那部分在哪?还没看过瘾哪!要不,哪位给个连接????
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-14 09:33 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Originally posted by 今天闲着 at 2005-11-14 01:49 AM:5 Q0 @6 q' d' H' q- ]0 A
被呼应的那部分在哪?还没看过瘾哪!要不,哪位给个连接????

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咳,就是偶转贴的那个“老婆的心得”,在这儿
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9 Q5 X6 z4 B# q. t' thttp://web.edmontonchina.cn/viewthread.php?tid=33628&fpage=1
鲜花(86) 鸡蛋(3)
发表于 2005-11-14 15:59 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 海妮妮 at 2005-11-14 09:33:
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咳,就是偶转贴的那个“老婆的心得”,在这儿
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! Z) g6 V+ E; m! Hhttp://web.edmontonchina.cn/viewthread.php?tid=33628&fpage=1

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+ y0 Z# Z% L6 I% c# ~$ ]这个早看了,想起11来现在还笑得受不了了!以后有机会一定要试一下。8 \9 m1 a% w! f& h3 z" P5 m
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还想问问你的体会呢!
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-14 16:21 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 今天闲着 at 2005-11-14 04:59 PM:2 s3 X% R6 V5 r0 I
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; W8 ]: i8 A/ y' y% ?$ w这个早看了,想起11来现在还笑得受不了了!以后有机会一定要试一下。
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/ [$ D9 x# z) n6 v( m0 y6 t还想问问你的体会呢!
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体会?
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