 鲜花( 634)  鸡蛋( 5)
|
Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!, T( g: a8 k' |/ H0 e
请注意,以下序号都是1不是误写
* J' N/ ]: a7 x0 @. N z$ |* @# M3 M: a. Q3 k+ g& c
1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.
2 T1 h1 k+ O3 j1 B* e3 ?4 N# F1,男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫
6 o6 Z4 ~$ ]# X4 H4 f% C7 F. d& x2 I* L+ W. W" D$ k# v& K
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
1 H( v8 T- ^4 p2 o$ Ndown.
* U: e) E) ?0 m# M5 W! ]9 wWe need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
) C0 a4 O2 `5 Z; V0 b2 ?you! B0 k. y4 _, g U
leaving it down./ ^5 u6 W3 U% }- p5 ]
1,学会使用马桶盖,你是个大姑娘了,马桶盖要是翻起来了,你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来,你们需要放下去,你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去?
0 F0 T2 V# Q3 f3 ?1 W1 h7 e" N
. e2 r/ }# i( k2 y( Y& W1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
7 ^! _# t* @+ ]Let it be.
+ S# C% S; j: I+ @% v" w3 e/ D1,周日的体育,无论它像满月还是潮汐,随他去
( J3 b, G& I, L+ s! u6 N) |; r
+ t( g0 i0 H9 z% Z ] {' K8 o2 N1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it( o R8 A$ w7 O* H
that way.& _/ H6 k. j; I
1,购物不是体育。不,也别指望我们能那么想!0 z1 S) L% m! S, D2 N
& j" b! M7 J: l8 h, i% ?6 a: G
1. Crying is blackmail.& _" j0 ?; }* [; I+ q8 L4 x$ @
1,哭泣是敲诈
8 v. _! `5 {# J- N8 v1 a
6 B" F* }" l7 E# Q3 `9 W, m, {1. Ask for what you want.
% K/ S- E1 {. j7 ~' b# ILet us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!# y J/ P; c- \2 k7 }- Q
Strong hints do not work! k9 B" E ~' E; g' C% H/ S H- Z
Obvious hints do not work! B0 K" u P' m& ^& [1 ~/ x+ ~) a
Just say it! Q9 ^5 E, j4 j
1,你想要什么就说8 J2 D" e6 Q$ Q4 n- p1 J+ ~
我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管用,强烈按时不管用,明显的暗示也不管用!想干吗你明说!9 r6 G, e+ y( Q o5 Y L
( I% j9 c9 d/ D; W7 T# h1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every 2 Y5 f9 Z& k- [) R0 Q7 U
question.
& g* x0 F' c$ F. N d1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 (意思是,丈夫仅仅说是,不是,妻子不满意)
2 w! m, E7 ]* C8 t7 s8 j$ Y( P+ I1 }: S o
1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's
H3 N6 ? ~" `' G$ K) |* M- W Zwhat we do.' x6 m% E9 _% b s) A' S
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
2 S: h! }: z% S; I8 p+ ]: O1,如果你有麻烦,可以来找我们帮助解决,可是不要仅仅为了获取同情,那是你们女朋友的责任。7 ^4 G' Y7 u/ e! W I/ J
! |% J5 g6 W9 l3 E3 g1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.4 k. a9 ]4 i& F* I, ~
1,你要是头疼了17个月,那你应该看医生去
0 }, ]1 g# [2 B, A4 N7 w# p, F; A0 w" |9 ]
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
' l" C; C0 L1 u. n% ~In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.# ?% [3 B3 Z6 C2 U
我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及,事实上,我们说的话7天后就作废了* ?6 w5 |" t) T d. P) T/ c
5 g" S0 D2 l2 y+ L
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us
( ^# g2 l6 D" \4 O1 |" o' gto act like soap opera guys.4 Y+ X1 I- ^& Z4 w7 P
1,如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密(性感品牌)的女孩子们,那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们, n7 {! \. G/ G, D9 a$ P
9 {' ]) d0 W* m1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
" V9 c2 f, V: r7 M1,你要是觉得你胖,那你八成就胖,别问我们
# h( c7 L5 L* g1 J* a: q9 C( u4 x7 Q- f4 I
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways- h0 [; i$ i) U; f F
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
0 S; V8 q: b9 b# r: ~- Y1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思,而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒,那么我们本来是另一种意思。5 O. v1 m3 L! Z7 N0 f7 ~
# z+ A- q3 L( y' z6 Z, V, s. ~6 n(谁有工夫继续一下,谢谢)% ^; c! P, {+ h2 g: I! u: n; x6 E
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it7 c7 I- }# n8 m9 j* v
done. Not both.6 ~4 E0 W* S) m% {% {0 X
If you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.
8 W2 E1 j5 ]( a9 e1 n6 P. ?, ~7 f" M' {' @
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during p: i. _5 H5 s& \
commercials.
2 N6 a! m- @: l8 d# z8 S+ ]0 u+ a5 X1 {
* N" v, p7 D* A8 u$ @: R& W1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.3 u) t5 F+ j* j2 U7 `; T
% a0 s; ~) l" k5 A% `: L$ Y- Q
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
; v% u6 n+ D: r+ zPeach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
/ f- C+ k: m- r6 vWe have no idea what mauve is.
6 ~$ @: L y, ] [8 o
5 m8 ?( k* s }. V$ G6 O1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.1 z: Q. w, {" M( y/ c* H) k
2 @8 R: g: C( N5 l4 ]
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
. n% [5 _. G! F. ?; k1 G* U' Unothing's wrong.1 s5 B$ u. i" H
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
; U- V7 n9 C- s% L7 _: V i' v( c9 I, z# M
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer
8 Z, b! [0 V0 N6 o* Syou don't want to hear.
1 Z1 u( F& k/ ~9 U3 T1 r- V/ ^) p& V% A) n& ^( e9 E f7 i
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is
5 x2 V& d( i4 Wfine...Really.
! y0 R4 O& f2 x3 F/ O, b
' T1 r, i' s5 k1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
# i" Q* H7 \/ b% Vdiscuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.4 ?- v5 N7 a+ ]' M; U5 m5 X1 H; x0 A
. z7 I1 Z9 I" e6 L
1. You have enough clothes., _' H. M: X+ i P1 s! w; o
5 b: d$ O+ _( q0 A* F$ C' u! o
1. You have too many shoes.0 `1 C& x, i8 U4 h6 I* p+ C7 u
/ e: u7 I$ `! z5 k) Z+ ]7 k1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
( T; t& ]" z/ H+ b( x, [7 S- z% e! W' z) B! r/ Z% X0 g2 T
1. Thank you for reading this.: C4 x2 ?& e' `0 F% C. D
- ~! n7 M* k/ S/ E* }0 @9 i* G1 }Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;& r4 d3 A1 P5 U8 Z' p
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.( |" |- l0 i p, s, g0 `
3 L( H- p& k' Z# T- w, V. f1 o
Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
7 x2 T6 Q& W6 B5 j! DPass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh |
|