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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:3 @" L V( F5 U3 O; Y" z/ |
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush) N" K# s$ |+ ]5 x: l- g- {* B7 u
hour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday
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3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,4 C* u% N$ ]( R/ x# X
you are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a
. d* V# \. C# c4 q/ P* Ylanding at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.
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4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
( ~& G& J( Y2 B+ y Pown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
5 V! {, Y9 k$ i8 |muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires6 {. G' e6 V. u& \8 U, B
go second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell
- J w' e( C0 Yphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,3 u) _ z \/ v! q6 c* j' L
cussed out, and possibly shot.3 X: E9 J, A* C% T' h4 d# ?6 M' t- g
; V' `- |" I0 d: b+ w" v$ Y+ H! v; B6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can
4 w5 ]5 ^: n% q* ]& s" k% Yget you shot.0 d5 G4 t" Q0 d H* ^9 t, o n
2 c# ?1 `/ Q' O4 n7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that
- g V; z) g# Nhas turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at
: Y& B- n7 X3 L# u% n( ^$ _. X9 ythe intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot
7 K/ V0 U- R. ~8 _6 _7 @you as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first/ i a* o5 q% A# |
vehicle through the intersection.
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8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour
7 E5 N, B2 j7 ?- k9 ^/ u. C% o4 [barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next, u; Z& [5 z0 d8 M. ]
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
4 e0 W+ o% w$ _% Q1 |! R3 z& Rmore construction starts everyday.' f& c0 r! @6 _
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9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,
( j7 F+ l( a3 Fdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
/ m5 u$ T4 F; Rsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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+ A: s* m9 W: f6 n" K10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same
) T8 _9 T4 Q1 f ?road. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye. s' L% `. r0 R0 E
Road are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and( f: I& A( K2 `! q/ d; [
66 Street are also the same road; got it?" `# W4 P4 Y) U
5 ~. |" a& ~: j% g, G" h# L+ c11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the4 _: o) I& r3 A1 ?5 w
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally; L3 j( M' S9 Y: X$ u) _
Activated.'
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8 W8 I3 u8 R8 p0 b- T" s0 a12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone," n$ R! E# }# x! j
you are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'
* a2 J" n0 Y1 a; `accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot." H" s/ ^6 P, x, e: G" h" s
8 U! H" ]4 I! U6 ^, K: W, L13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur: Q: z. `3 U+ d) d+ C
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
1 y, x: r' ]' M! D0 i3 Sblankets in the vehicle. |
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发表于 2010-2-16 12:01
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发表于 2010-2-16 22:55
