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Tiger s Holiday Poem
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Twas the night of Thanksgiving and out of the house8 g( U* M% R G6 l" b4 F
Tiger Woods came a flyin', chased by his spouse." e3 s6 \, |: {: E0 d6 b+ C( M4 J( k+ ~
She wielded a nine iron and wasn't too merry,
; e5 k3 y5 c% J( zCause a bimbo’s phone number was in his Blackberry.
, B" t' F" g. m2 }: mHe’d been cheatin' on Elin, and the story progressed.% v1 U; ~# |1 ~$ w7 r2 i
Woman after woman stepped up and confessed.
" m8 C( p( E. F% g2 SHe’d been cheatin’ with Holly, and Jaimee, and Cori,: z1 p' U: G# d3 J/ e
With Joselyn, and Kalika. The world had the story. y; {4 G7 y, v+ O7 h% h4 k3 |
From the top of the Tour to the basement of blues,/ F& z* J* Q/ \
Tiger’s sad sordid tale was all over the news.
) Q7 P/ h* d6 } K2 k8 }# A0 S3 l# |With hostesses, waitresses, he had lots of sex,- ?' f/ p" x( y: q
When not in their pants, he was sendin' them texts.# y' t( b7 e" M2 |
Despite all his cryin’ and beggin' and pleadin',
" x* e8 C; x& aTiger’s wife went investin' -- a new home in Sweden .$ O% [* c1 ~! A+ B4 J" M
And I heard her exclaim from her white Escalade,
& W; |7 V- u' @3 F) T"If you’re gettin' laid then I’m gettin' paid."
0 m* E" `( {1 c8 [( U* x5 kShe’s not pouting, in fact, she is of jolly good cheer,
- A" D! l6 o. Z2 `1 tHer prenup made Christmas come early this year. |
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