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The Washington Post publishes a yearly contest in which readers are asked to invent alternate meanings for various words. % M/ O/ I5 {6 r
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The following were some of this year’s winning entries:
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1. Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon. 8 v4 ^$ V7 y. r+ ~7 O, j
/ ~( U, O1 |; n) Y2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have . 1 ]) t% ^2 z1 t% e+ T
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3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach. ! r* P9 @, n. P% |9 w/ e; |$ g' g
^9 s- Q# r! o4 k% ?5 w2 n* `4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
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2 W' ?1 \4 ]( ~2 b( Z6 Y# u5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent
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/ E2 b6 Y, O3 N/ x: |6 J! b6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightie. % k$ y" H9 l) t2 M: F
! m3 k O6 h- }% k5 y1 R4 U; E7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
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8. Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavoured mouthwash.
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9. Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
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! W0 P2 x I/ l$ w. Y& x- z10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
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+ g7 g$ j/ s: C l1 s* B11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam. $ U9 [/ V4 H. w# o9 ?
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12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanour assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you. E' Y, N, ]4 Y" I; n, x; j
0 _& x3 l0 P+ E. \; W4 X13. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions. 3 ^+ V& I5 f( k0 E% b
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14. Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts. ) S. S3 |5 T* }* f* p+ |1 K" T
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15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there.
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16. Pokemon (n.), A Jamaican proctologist. |
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发表于 2009-12-2 14:01
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