 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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9 j1 G: I3 F) c* t, L9 ]6 \' KI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:" U8 `' S% t& N" e8 x; I; q
+ M. q- ^1 j' N1 o"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?& b+ Q$ W2 `" R* X% V) T" f9 w
# f1 N- b7 ?# f- t |7 O1 sAnd the second one was:
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( X' c; |9 L n( t"What's the 2nd Amendment?"( O; ^4 N. q% ~6 R0 R, N
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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7 S- C' z! E/ n"What is Roe vs. Wade?"5 q: l- D, a* r, X
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States? q: R; Q" H8 E$ l
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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: ~. u$ R; Y0 w, C# ~I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."3 u( j$ G4 ^! ^0 G2 \" @7 ]9 J
7 Y( H4 s: r4 C4 R2 Y( F5 ASo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"" P; P' Z) ^( u/ \) v k
: s% y. h; w! R( J+ P c& c9 ?Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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6 n: P, c6 K: C( y- vThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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2 \) X, j4 o' Y1 cThank you very much!
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; Z: H) W0 ~( X, z- _. lImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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, K( E* D& r& e( e1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.( I- k2 W9 ]6 r" j# h, j' d
2 V5 i7 O0 |5 F% \7 cJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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2 Y/ h S, {, {1 A4 rRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.' z( M& @" U. ?+ ]# g; e8 p
8 Q, b3 S( z# b; r' c* ^The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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