 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.7 i: y0 }9 ?2 P
9 ^6 `' Y5 n+ F& iI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.. u3 E6 g0 g3 Y/ T5 }
5 S/ S7 n8 v3 I, \5 g7 VI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:8 C% i# ` d* X/ V9 U7 t/ T& r' q
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"/ h9 G5 l+ }( u8 x5 z
5 J! u! f A: |0 h$ ZI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?2 N" [. h/ b6 C3 z# \" K
6 a l" G& E+ ?3 G2 cAnd the second one was:
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3 d, \8 u! H8 d. E8 k, P"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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5 l$ n1 `6 b4 LI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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* Z+ I. {7 |; y1 Z7 [2 II have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!; _( |) D2 f k9 x9 _2 m: F) Z
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."' A7 W7 T$ a( } v
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"/ m4 T$ i( _! J" k p7 Z# {2 v+ Q
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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! Q6 v9 O! n/ f8 h6 {Thank you very much!! K5 h1 j; }" d9 |1 K
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:4 M$ I5 L, i* N) D, k1 L
2 j" i/ p) l5 e; W' X$ s1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.. r1 T' n: i# P6 S3 U
' r) m" g$ y+ U& ? y) N! o$ ^, G"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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! F8 m7 w$ [+ a7 Y8 sRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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