 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.1 r9 X- Q$ n2 [9 n9 T+ D/ F
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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0 _7 j# `# ^" v* S5 UI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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& x3 P: l! f7 X" S8 t7 q# @And the second one was:
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?( ?$ ]& s) d+ J
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"& ~$ ^! P! T9 T
8 E; n! [$ c, U+ O. ^1 C9 CI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?1 {& K) r- ^ E! J% i0 `- f
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!# V. j5 h$ m) J R9 L* M3 Z
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."8 i, Q1 @$ r* s; O5 B
" F+ v; G1 `; Z f# A; B: j1 aSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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: d3 K* s$ w- jNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”7 F- C. B5 e5 g9 K3 A- r* I
- H# o' p4 j0 Y! l$ qThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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$ h, W- d* Z/ S C; B+ J7 `( k' ZThank you very much!! x; y( u7 f" N1 P
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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: A, L @& N* r4 p) `4 |, r8 |1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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5 {7 p: D) N7 S& a8 ?& K"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.6 m; Y0 o# ~9 Z! P, r
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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0 f0 v; C" q3 N; sRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.1 a* K- g; h0 Z# X7 q0 A
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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