 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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: w1 l/ h- a1 s7 ~2 v1 }I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.- a" V. N0 X& k9 i1 g* C% y
$ \% Y H6 R, V% ~0 eI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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2 ^/ E: j$ {4 Y* u"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?, a: I z, O: `; d
8 {! U6 ?0 N5 ?6 r' h" y; YAnd the second one was:0 v/ \$ h( S; n" b/ ^2 e) P5 k8 x0 Y
$ w. w; E8 k; N: b"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?4 o" |+ H, F3 Q6 l$ c, L
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"# B, U& M$ ?1 Q" j& W7 O# D
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?3 T" P4 k, \% ^2 W6 e% ^
% ~0 o8 o$ @9 [I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen.") R/ ?$ \/ q. q- a; X
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”. A3 B6 G$ V0 O. u8 `. |
5 `, Z0 ]9 z/ w# _4 sThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.$ c3 _( l" m* X% M% t4 v, V& p
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Thank you very much!
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:" _, g1 Z f9 {3 ]. Z Q0 M' r
$ r- R8 x P' U1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.* U0 e8 o% v, {$ \! N# `
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.6 N7 j, [1 a) u7 N
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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- @$ z5 O9 o- G1 c7 P/ Y/ q$ KJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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8 ^) R3 M7 H5 x' s0 i0 FRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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