Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
' j. B# D! X$ I/ u) {Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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- ]+ I: @/ L& e; h; M$ |JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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. c* y# j& s) f2 e2 V" @0 H/ s. j- vpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
: ?5 V; i- j2 l0 Kvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
8 ]2 J, b2 k- n  m2 pTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
, h. K- Y0 \5 M' N) O9 _* _3 GThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
, v) P) H5 r8 S9 `! G/ luntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
$ z( s; Y% T9 i4 UAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
$ j9 K9 r, Y' Y( l0 Land be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
+ h6 ~4 X' r- r6 Ain case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
* L4 a  ~+ r  N$ BMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
! Z$ m2 g- `, d: q+ _; lsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
7 \3 T& r1 X$ O# k3 y5 p3 ^' Iand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
  ]5 f! _/ w; R: ]% I$ ^' ^# @coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
2 N* }7 Z2 h3 j* k0 fMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
( h* N- b1 l2 ^6 V" {an embarrassment the next.
/ v8 R5 X2 l; I4 j& h/ `9 L7 pMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
0 r, H: ?8 n( f: A7 A% |Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
+ q/ Q0 s3 ]0 V/ U( i& sMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

3 ?. C7 r# b4 E! T* u2 d$ o+ CPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
5 ?  ?2 P. [2 F! ?0 P$ ]7 tYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
0 W$ N5 p. V0 y5 K( S) Vupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.

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+ P% B! f6 B2 _! `8 u. e- P: P$ {2 P. dPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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* l, r) ^2 |9 u+ r! ^# o# UWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
) n. k0 e2 \. ?) B$ U6 _of the assumption that college will help them
7 j- @/ f/ a( o' ?3 s& v/ Jbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
2 N2 b7 D# X& ~. M8 B* l) jThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
$ ^0 Z2 _; p" e" `$ o+ ~you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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2 X0 g' G+ s4 W$ t' Q" Y3 l) |" ABENEFITS:
+ ?! D. M5 p* o, r. l0 g3 P' YWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
/ q, u& K0 @8 A( ~$ m( M/ Y& _no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
" J: E$ W) ]" e" O. n8 _no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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3 F6 H  x, K4 y/ T. Kunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.

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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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" z' T! T7 y0 g6 \Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
0 G) Q% H/ v: r" e) Q) |0 uor forward with love
$ a2 l* j# E- ?: L+ q- pto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.