Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
" U$ W+ g5 X' MMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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- x& `& i' m6 z) f8 R# |3 R% k! UJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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1 |( b, K: j* s, V  i$ u) Ppermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
8 `$ i+ |) ~5 Z/ P* x& i! ]) SCandidates must possess excellent communication
# e7 b& x; K  \" O% }9 C3 k, @and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
* T# _- _, H* k9 q+ @Some overnight travel required, including trips to
* ~, s( e3 ?2 z9 Z3 i6 Aprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
* P- [  K# K; l4 l( |0 sMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
: j5 F" o, r8 z7 jMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
# a$ Y) C, _3 w  D* ?: ^( [Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
* ]% a$ ]6 J/ q" J6 vin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
1 f- ]- z) Y- k1 HMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
* O$ Y* Z" B# Jand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
7 Z5 u; q2 |  H4 x0 s4 ?Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
$ i8 w5 e1 i  pMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
# V9 A7 u' v- w1 u3 |5 shalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
; y: n! Z: R- g7 D1 \/ SMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
/ S6 U+ H5 t/ q0 l) h  Djanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
% p2 ^) U& \! o( NYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
# `/ G7 h) D  i. [: M/ v5 E3 {without complaining,constantly retraining and
6 `! o( Z# I& j, T. J8 Dupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
. y- Q8 k  f6 Ican ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
/ p1 {3 |  A& |- {Get this! You pay them!
+ L+ y. s8 c" X9 m9 oOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
7 t5 z  `- d# T) C. ka balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
) t7 e+ ^! j" r. N# s' x& Bof the assumption that college will help them
3 S9 G4 X4 j& `4 Y( ~  Sbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

/ o8 ?8 t3 K8 L: n& A! q5 h% jBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

3 m1 E1 m9 I* O5 C' M' ^6 `4 S' Iunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.
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. z4 M2 l* T( n: H) O4 x** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
; g' Y4 b7 r" ^" Q/ d. F2 Jletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
4 E1 E( v) ]8 Q9 c: Y8 sor forward with love
5 _6 M8 [* V3 Pto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.