Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
% W& D, D5 D' B4 @Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
1 D9 d- S! l2 m6 s5 |7 uCandidates must possess excellent communication
  q* V  L8 S+ \: x/ [( h) f& l+ E. Zand organizational skills and be willing to work
& H8 Z2 E" ?8 N/ Wvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
0 q) j6 R6 t/ G* }3 aSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

- G3 e2 H7 m7 e. |6 b0 `6 ^( Y  Q5 zRESPONSIBILITIES:
- }" s- ~+ H7 d+ m8 a. r- _The rest of your life.
$ P: M3 i, G6 ]) j- SMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
2 i  f0 e6 X4 a; B8 J4 U& i, {Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
5 P' t8 L: B) D6 s! T& Yand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
& ^) _% x5 U/ |! zin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
/ g/ P5 s% j2 b* \7 JMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
; F/ u7 b) c4 k3 O/ rcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
. x  f; v$ [- T, {2 N5 H( ?7 GMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
4 F' a5 F) y$ I" _5 W; c" Jhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
. r+ K( J, K: v! d1 {! s+ ithe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
# O+ q- K- Z3 j8 lYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
+ g6 L, y2 Q. Z; @/ G5 p8 fwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
, ~& A/ r/ f6 J) D2 h. [can ultimately surpass you.
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9 o+ G# l% E) q* r% f5 ePREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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# y  O& f( Y6 [WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
2 \2 W1 v. u- m- H" E/ lOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
/ G1 f. C4 u" V' a- {5 Qof the assumption that college will help them
: r  F$ _* y; o' bbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
" w% u4 ~1 b1 q3 j# Ayou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

- T7 O7 E, l) B9 F2 T" B( Q+ NBENEFITS:
7 j! ^7 a7 t3 ~, V, m3 G4 c9 GWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
: K3 ?: ?9 Q4 u  Dno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
0 m* r; L, a0 qthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



; @! a! S/ M. y5 V: V/ s( s; TForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
+ I& p) c9 f/ k/ {( W  \( Xfor the fabulous job they do...
) Q9 z3 w( b# v. b- J  D& E% tor forward with love
3 B3 B: q* m0 D# [" e: T, xto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.