 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma 4 F/ M, X2 O8 j+ P- E1 @1 U/ G
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa q0 N; [' A% m$ j9 B
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JOB DESCRIPTION:0 |" ~$ \- b( m* J
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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# b3 W9 s) P* z u2 L& Z$ u) Jpermanent work in an often chaotic environment. 5 |1 e! k% f0 ^( J3 `% G$ C
Candidates must possess excellent communication
2 B6 y/ H3 k5 _- h( Dand organizational skills and be willing to work # _0 n. S+ r. z7 ?+ a1 U" Y
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
4 O. F' v+ f+ d7 l+ e7 N6 W$ \and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. ; q) C. n. F, C
Some overnight travel required, including trips to ! p! Z2 _' m9 U, l3 q1 t! @+ _0 k" G
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and # O t. D% J4 E2 d r) s: H
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
" v5 L& }7 e2 l0 YTravel expenses not reimbursed.
0 Q8 ^+ I8 x: p6 Y: w% d6 W2 k* i1 @Extensive courier duties also required. 1 Y; V9 U" J# ?9 d7 {1 b
$ `# F- V K! x; o6 @. {+ ORESPONSIBILITIES:
' G5 L$ m! o2 a) y* c$ t! X. }The rest of your life.
( q0 z& R$ b/ ?. R5 hMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
1 L1 u) `* D6 J: F+ R* m/ T5 Juntil someone needs $5. $ E% q' w% z4 V9 b2 [; r* Y3 L
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
5 V4 m! [ V9 \4 TAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
/ p, b; p1 W; d' q* B! ^1 t jand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat : l; J9 r. X1 {% o# G5 {2 F
in case, this time, the screams from
0 j- _3 o, z% W7 s& X" cthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
( n' S, m& k9 a7 r r7 k. qMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
' p4 q7 K! g: z% N% j" Ysuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
7 I- u) c0 x8 n. O7 Q% j; iand stuck zippers. J- }$ }" r8 x' U6 T
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and ) W2 [: h1 X6 r' z! T4 |' G+ m! I ]
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
1 ^; a0 r$ w' I! J8 \/ C8 MMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
, k& i Q6 l/ T9 ^3 U. e) Q$ W) oMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
) p* V* P5 P" h* t) H2 V: Xan embarrassment the next. & K* J3 p6 D3 ^7 K. o- z
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
% q" C" @6 L) E, e. q1 {half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. 0 O8 d& k$ B3 [" A d/ }
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. 3 C9 d6 u- O& B2 |: N/ U$ R
Must assume final, complete accountability for
; d% @" c5 |+ _# u/ B# L" l7 tthe quality of the end product.
5 X9 [& P- S& F, k1 S/ X8 o: F5 C* HResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
# M6 A/ P: U6 S- A; ^janitorial work throughout the facility.
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: }* [' F8 T; q* U3 e8 CPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:) X2 l( ]& ~) M6 w
None.
6 y" ^& v; M1 bYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
6 V4 F, m5 d3 [: @; {1 ~* swithout complaining,constantly retraining and % n2 f9 d; D0 V. p9 Q% D5 k
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
, k8 Z' ?% |7 z% @6 B* I4 ccan ultimately surpass you.3 T( R) d$ V8 y" B
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1 a1 p$ e; f p* Q8 V* W J8 W& zPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
1 E6 @0 c. ]8 N3 v2 V2 `5 o3 ZNone required, unfortunately. ( ]; J2 w. f( v
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION: 5 q4 i% U1 l s; x# k
Get this! You pay them! $ Q6 R' M& [1 h3 D6 j2 q- ]- b
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
6 j: w+ l7 Z& h5 m( n: t F# C8 Oa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because : ]# |9 |7 ?. o& A; \
of the assumption that college will help them
v6 E5 m |4 A% _1 hbecome financially independent.
0 f2 t/ K% [3 O2 i9 c+ p# gWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
[. r9 l3 T" e5 |0 G$ AThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that ' l, o# n$ t' E" ]
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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& k% y& @+ L X8 {BENEFITS:
) q, A! `: r. U0 XWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension, 4 R; l9 i% |: Q1 @$ s4 \
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and 7 h( Y9 P1 h5 T
no stock options are offered,
" z5 A8 ]6 F3 I5 Y: E3 Wthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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4 p4 }" W8 m# _) {, D u7 D8 v/ Vunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.0 G' @5 i+ ~8 Y* g. i y9 C
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3 L0 i0 s* k9 ~0 D& V; M( e6 K# Q- f8 b** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
& X o; O: r2 J% a% K% k( f8 h6 {$ Cletting them know they are appreciated
! ?$ V8 e0 f' b9 W3 Y6 Pfor the fabulous job they do... & u) z0 _. z2 w+ H
or forward with love
" q4 O5 o; a3 B/ W: H& ?1 [, l7 v/ Rto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
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显身卡
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
