Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
+ J! C, V; [! aMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
3 j" q( h- N" k* h6 NDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


JOB DESCRIPTION:
9 \# H4 L1 i+ HLong term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
1 @! H% G) D2 `" h* d0 yCandidates must possess excellent communication
) E- r8 `. ~; j/ y. e6 y4 w. H4 f) Jand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
4 j# W* U* d! A3 @and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
* D9 b( H) C+ I# z" M8 {, kSome overnight travel required, including trips to
3 B, S) ~6 A1 L- X/ K. C9 D9 aprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
. x! z3 \5 h7 P% ^6 u! tendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
. A0 C' Y- {$ A
; z3 p- Z: v' H' gRESPONSIBILITIES:
* o5 e, `8 n/ _: D; R, r" DThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
* n- A9 f: x8 `1 B# rand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
3 T- O* d' D6 z& }in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
) Z! I/ {8 |0 ]: [. y. D5 {Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
5 J: a9 g: }; NMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
* `. \% u$ O* U6 C# `" N7 P3 zhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
+ R9 k/ d, L  x' k! d3 ~/ C3 \Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
5 {5 P4 O! X* o9 ^' Rjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
/ p7 K5 o7 [6 s: i. o! W  D' ~- {1 I' yYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
" p7 n# M  j5 m& Kwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
0 H: t; M9 v# Gupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
7 ?2 f! _) |: U5 ]4 B9 e9 bcan ultimately surpass you.

, A# c( I6 W- }+ J0 \: s
- Z( Y: h6 {; w& V! OPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
; f# x, F' Y9 D9 q9 L$ @None required, unfortunately.
5 p/ y7 P' w9 S1 ?% s, G% l- l" S# uOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
6 j5 w5 z8 k8 j2 o: ubecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

; ^3 x1 s6 |' N+ Q: XBENEFITS:
) W" O# T  ?4 Q$ S: i0 k* TWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
# o/ T# d+ b' j: t' nno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
0 \5 P5 X& I5 f
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
) A. b' S5 C. W7 t
for life if you play your cards right.

+ t+ N( _( O# G$ T3 K


** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
9 S0 T" |7 ?) H; D

$ O8 v0 N9 E1 M7 f
, F- o9 Q7 r  W+ XForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
7 {4 a3 X8 V8 e3 J5 W8 vto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
  x0 R# D# |7 Y* U, G6 M, P, g
) D# W$ A+ t& w% t% z

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.