Crazy English! Zt

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ZT


Crazy English!

3 D- I& O: B3 v3 j  ^/ @7 n) MWe'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; But the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.

One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.

6 S8 Q3 S. ^0 zYou may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice; Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

If the plural of man is always called men, Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?

  S  \7 c0 y5 U9 y  ]If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, And I give you a boot, would a pair be a beet?
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, j% q1 |+ P# CIf one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, Why shouldn't the plural of booths be called beet?
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Then one may be that, and three would be those, Yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
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: l( _2 Y: h3 o# p4 [" WWe speak of a brother and also of brethren, But though we say mother, we never say methren.
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Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, But imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.

$ N! Y0 k) B, mLet's face it, English is a crazy language!

There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in a hamburger; Neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England.
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% C& k7 W! M, G* }+ \  v0 O! mAnd why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, Grocers done groce and hammers don't hamm?
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Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends, but not one amend?
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If you have a bunch of odds & ends, And get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
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+ g0 Y$ W6 g7 I  }: B' A- vIf teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

  E) e9 W( B" TIf a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?

' E- u% `/ p5 T4 q: F7 D; FShip by truck and send cargo by ship?

Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
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You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your
House burns down; in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on!
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/ z8 B' r7 j! {. hSometimes, I think all the folks who grew up speaking English Should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane