Crazy English! Zt

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Crazy English!
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We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; But the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.
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2 P4 Q' P( P5 _4 E! f  O1 ?* iOne fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
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) {' k: m7 v/ ^' t- FYou may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice; Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

If the plural of man is always called men, Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
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* X, W1 w- l8 S" G4 j3 J  CIf I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, And I give you a boot, would a pair be a beet?
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5 ^) |: M- i9 |4 u8 d3 O# mIf one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, Why shouldn't the plural of booths be called beet?
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Then one may be that, and three would be those, Yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.

- j8 M* T9 O" \5 sWe speak of a brother and also of brethren, But though we say mother, we never say methren.
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0 I& M( B7 G$ p: T# M+ Q7 ZThen the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, But imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.
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Let's face it, English is a crazy language!
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There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in a hamburger; Neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England.
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  G2 J8 R% K0 w, `8 `/ H& GAnd why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, Grocers done groce and hammers don't hamm?
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6 R4 Q9 Q& t9 A/ r9 m7 {. e! ZDoesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends, but not one amend?

; g5 w2 X( b; r; g: r2 ^8 xIf you have a bunch of odds & ends, And get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

0 P' T9 L. g+ Z( ~4 z2 \If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

4 p5 [% p/ \+ R3 |/ y- ]1 H. }In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?

Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
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Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
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7 X, ~# j2 S( g' ^7 t+ r; KYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your
House burns down; in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on!
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Sometimes, I think all the folks who grew up speaking English Should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane