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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
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Let's face it# U, K! }, D3 \( }) ~0 P
English is a stupid language.
: L& J- R6 r9 S6 |There is no egg in the eggplant
2 O' p6 v6 i& f: x- yNo ham in the hamburger" S: C$ u1 n& i
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
1 c; u. L# j# X- |English muffins were not invented in England1 H1 L# t+ b' X4 v! h( }; C) V$ |/ z
French fries were not invented in France.
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: \# b. n3 o, ^( T9 JWe sometimes take English for granted5 E6 t; [9 x5 [3 x8 j
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that) A8 B4 W+ V+ U. A/ k( d
Quicksand takes you down slowly2 f, f$ t# \2 j& R+ G
Boxing rings are square
7 Q& Y; D! t! N6 ?8 WAnd a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
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3 M+ K8 M8 i& J- f; a4 xIf writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
+ R! o+ j% f! `9 @$ X+ P; m. {0 WIf the plural of tooth is teeth
9 j/ Q7 K( @; o7 N) M) hShouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
; X- l% M( s1 V: K, |2 FIf the teacher taught,
1 D! B4 T5 C# m; B' J8 F! Z5 gWhy didn't the preacher praught.
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If a vegetarian eats vegetables$ p; r+ P) E P" R8 f9 p6 F; z5 Z
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?4 z! @, d) d( @2 ?' K
Why do people recite at a play
$ \* r" I5 k% w' D- VYet play at a recital?
- ?: ], g$ P6 e3 H) n# B) uPark on driveways and/ N2 n5 n8 O1 p3 s+ L: v% o
Drive on parkways2 k) E( A8 M# d h! V+ b8 }1 S n
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You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
+ ^ F# Z, W. g$ ?/ g: M& ?5 ]Of a language where a house can burn up as
1 m4 U8 Z% T) H( @It burns down; c" Y" X9 ^! U2 \6 R6 H
And in which you fill in a form
7 Q" A6 R: ~- T1 ]3 K8 D- q n2 wBy filling it out
1 W; {* v9 }& x# u6 zAnd a bell is only heard once it goes!6 P. B. ]) N# ~$ n8 q8 B S& Z
# I$ K/ U5 |9 P; L8 REnglish was invented by people, not computers
0 T# K; ?; N0 Z1 }' xAnd it reflects the creativity of the human race
( v) }& f' q4 @( \2 O(Which of course isn't a race at all)
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) Q) Z* D0 V1 x0 V4 A4 ?That is why
/ K, A# C; @: B( R" J7 o; D9 ?When the stars are out they are visible5 {1 C) k$ C2 ?# x, Q% g
But when the lights are out they are invisible- _$ U2 `9 i3 \5 F# ?
And why it is that when I wind up my watch6 i7 u# p6 m. P( _9 c8 x+ K1 ^
It starts
" p! @/ M6 f, [( I1 Q; g" M- CBut when I wind up this observation,1 U0 H/ q7 \) d
It ends. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2008-11-17 16:24
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发表于 2008-11-17 18:40
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