Never Say to a Cop:

OliveOil

NEVER SAY TO A COP:
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* ~" ?% p* H# x4 F: L8 d0 \1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas)
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7 C% T2 g, U9 z2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
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3. Aren't you the guy from the Village People?

  e# Y# z! F+ i3 R3 x9 x( J9 {4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!
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5. Are You Andy or Barney?

  `! d* O/ l4 j  G6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.
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7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

9 u$ R1 I* J- o* |! r. N  b: h8. I pay your salary!
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! K7 N& s' M. ^8 v2 k9. Gee, Office r! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!
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2 n9 V* l6 L" D5 x* O7 ?* L- N10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
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11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.
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( T: ^7 O. R% m1 Q3 R" p2 z+ e12. When the Officer says "Gee .Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with, "Gee, Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"