Just For A Laugh : LITTLE TONY'S REASONING LESSON

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LITTLE TONY'S REASONING LESSON
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- d7 ~5 P- p4 u6 d6 K/ c5 F5 L> > > >A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence
> > > >and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on
/ }/ S  q, l3 t# X& s" R  O> > > >little TONY.
7 G1 T& g: w& \/ P& f7 \> > > >He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot."
6 d+ O3 H. t: A9 V4 }> > > >The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your
) |, k/ F: P( g/ ^5 M5 O- x4 v>thinking."
5 O& `! W! u# t# A+ w: V1 w) N> > > >Then little TONY says, "I have a question for YOU. There are 3 women
> > > >sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the
> > > >sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the
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> > > >top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice
>cream.
$ E/ W  F4 a& a# f) R> > > >Which one is married?"
2 j4 s0 i# f: I. b) T5 N8 s> > > >The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well, I suppose the
> > > >one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."
" S4 K& \( N5 v; W> > > >To which Little TONY replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with
  m) X- a; z% c$ z> > > >the wedding ring on', but I like your thinking."
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7 ~# W: ]# a: m4 U7 j5 f> > > >LITTLE TONY ON MATH
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6 d/ o1 F8 R8 H$ u; l% Z/ U2 r> > > >Little TONY returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
> > > >"Why?" asks the father.
> > > >"The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3', I said '6'," replies TONY.
+ R5 a0 g+ J9 i' @: M0 _/ `> > > >"But that's right!" says his dad.
> > > >"Yeah, but then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?' "
> > > >"What's the 法克ing difference?" asks the father.
( ?" X! ~- P1 K3 Z  E+ H7 T; i# Z> > > >"That's what I said!"
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> > > >LITTLE TONY ON ENGLISH
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. T& R/ j" v/ |' v> > > >Little TONY goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are
% Y7 d2 e8 v3 v- g> > > >going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an
> > > >example of a multi-syllable word?"
> > > >TONY says "Masturbate."
2 D+ Z) {. }, n7 ]5 _> > > >Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little TONY, that's a mouthful."
0 Y- L; H: V8 y8 {$ O2 F  d> > > >Little TONY says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."
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> > > >LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR
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> > > >Little TONY was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he needed
8 q) Y) O& \7 I) \. S5 n> > > >to go to the bathroom. He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need to take a
+ k3 X- \" T+ H* n* ^0 e> > > >piss!!"
2 ]" _5 X  p3 `> > > >The teacher replied, "Now, TONY, that is NOT the proper word to use
> > > >in this situation. The correct word you want to use is 'urinate'.
5 N0 K# N2 }5 w( n; M> > > >Please use the word 'urinate' in a sentence correctly, and I will
> > > >allow
, H$ d- F* ^; k  c, z. n> > > >you to go."
( b2 }% ^2 G; S* Q: x8 r> > > >Little TONY, thinks for a bit, and then says, "You're an eight, but
- ]3 K% M6 ]/ t* R' z+ \> > > >if you had bigger tits, you'd be a TEN!"
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# d  A2 p4 q: J$ t# E+ [5 F> > > >LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR
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2 K: i3 `4 U0 @+ S  G9 R% a" Z> > > >One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a
  [% c1 e( n- _* z0 f" V& k9 t> > > >show of hands from those who could use the! Word "beautiful" in the
7 |0 o# H  g+ z" q" k: V> > > >same sentence twice.
) G9 n5 B8 ~! G7 o; m> > > >First, she called on little Suzy, who responded with, "My father
) h( m! t" k- m& B' u/ A% e4 U> > > >bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."
> > > >"Very good, Suzy," replied the teacher. She then called on little
3 {6 |: O. d. T* E3 k8 g3 B$ E> > > >Michael. "My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out
> > > >beautifully."
> > > >She said, "Excellent, Michael!" Then the teacher reluctantly
> > > >called on little TONY.
> > > >"Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she
> > > >was pregnant, and he said 'Beautiful, just 法克ing beautiful!"
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> > > >LITTLE TONY ON GETTING OLDER
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1 A  r! s1 k: v+ O& }9 R> > > >Little TONY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar
5 ~4 L4 F. E% \/ x8 ?> > > >after another. After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him
> > > >said, "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It
0 Q2 a8 W, U/ _/ T) P> > > >will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat."
+ g5 c, O8 @7 r' Y> > > >Little TONY replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."
> > > >The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?"
; @7 l/ @0 p# O6 r' Z. x> > > >Little TONY answered, "No, he minded his own 法克ing business