 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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9 Q5 R: R/ S/ i+ W. K+ LLook at your womanly physique in the mirror -- 5 o8 ]0 k8 \5 r T! B+ s
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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4 x& ~8 n; L# B3 N1 w. `1 e0 HGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.$ X8 z' J, a" A' q8 q
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..; ?. D: P9 P ]7 r3 w
0 ]7 H( G: T6 P6 g5 \+ `' p4 uWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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Rinse conditioner off hair.
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Shave armpits and legs.
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7 o# n$ P* V Q* }) L' M( jTurn off shower.
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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; o# o! G8 D- J }Spray mold spots with Tilex. 7 U3 F$ v0 e, B. i' `7 v
( z' l& e, X& o0 B; f7 U8 [Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. & @) m1 F, F) c$ a
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. , P1 }, M) z" h+ w, Q$ ~% d* Y
& ~* s: M: `) u+ k" Y' e: K' vReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. $ K# A2 R5 M9 ^* R9 B
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Walk naked to the bathroom.
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3 c( Z' O) k' W" {. S/ }If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. . J7 w9 u) y$ i. r7 }
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror. - u5 x5 {7 S) T3 e1 m* T) i' h( T. j
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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, R% d; [ M: z5 Z2 VGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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7 A" J% X# u( \" W/ zBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. 1 p# w+ v7 q) ^8 f
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. ' @" L3 W5 x% M
+ S/ t- F( `6 y) {. j) [8 EWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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& }! ]8 o/ K: z* A2 `* }Pee.
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M6 O3 L8 Z2 P. LRinse off and get out of shower.
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7 |1 M% D% ?% `4 wPartially dry off.
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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6 j9 ?7 \' ^2 ~) L# P/ ]5 k+ MAdmire wiener size in mirror again.
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4 g' f. p" Y) pLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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. v$ {9 N4 }8 {* s: rThrow wet towel on bed. , F4 L( j0 Z0 E# V: n
4 i9 c; ]; O) GIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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