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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : " u' w/ K" C! ?5 y* M, j7 }
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2 J" v- F6 H! O k5 x" k) vTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks., V/ R( ]4 v9 G. k b
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.3 C& M0 R4 h) V9 U# I. a6 r+ Z
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
8 I" t; Q5 W3 }. A7 V8 @$ @1 dmake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.& g' F4 h2 k* x9 ^: T
+ L4 W3 ?2 S- q% p4 j" C% @! l) iGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. N/ n( T) W# F( P1 n+ s" m
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. , W/ Y; w1 x k* E( O3 u
6 h( a; f ], X* ]. OWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.3 m$ G+ z; B# }7 r* |
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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7 j; |' h0 h0 @8 UWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. * E( C8 C8 {, L0 A& a
; [8 j3 {2 Z9 ?& FRinse conditioner off hair./ I. }" \6 H1 A4 ]7 D$ t
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Shave armpits and legs." r6 J7 r" w5 G4 I3 N4 `" D
; K7 M* I5 a3 [; \0 H: Y* j5 _, c. VTurn off shower.8 }# F( Q& c) ]& ~1 G- e
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.7 P: A: q5 i, D# f0 F$ _7 [$ d9 p( g
' |$ P+ R$ E6 O6 i0 ~! m) n0 hSpray mold spots with Tilex. ( ?# y: i, ]. i" V* M" ^' L6 \
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. ( x+ s6 B5 F k- [$ x, ]
2 E8 n' s$ r3 n/ I: ~; N' t! qWrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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' p2 b# R$ R/ T, T& s7 @Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. * ^& ?* A# Y1 _
( l' U7 _9 p7 x: C' OIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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+ E; o, \; L# F) _# f$ R* N8 IHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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" {( A" v; w: D1 x' JTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. ! L6 A! }8 K1 w. \1 N4 a6 [9 A8 \
" @+ P8 r# x1 d8 q7 |' ?& C* z7 ^Walk naked to the bathroom.
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. . H$ {0 O$ o1 Z/ Z
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
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/ S( @/ z, ~* M) `: z+ wAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. ) g4 b* }0 x8 g/ Z$ C/ T
+ R W- X) Y' j5 @" O' S0 `, LGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. ! w/ Q& }6 C- w$ y6 I
- `- h o8 }# Y0 \& s+ }Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. 6 Z# \; ?( N6 [, c' {: T0 a
& U% `2 D7 Y* H) M$ ^Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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Rinse off and get out of shower.
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% x4 J4 b% k" R6 U+ SPartially dry off.
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. * e L4 ?) |2 B" I/ G
' I: d: C q1 @- TAdmire wiener size in mirror again. . C7 z- k& `* v6 }8 ~6 f! k/ I
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. ; Z6 E/ A% w5 \' P0 x
2 u5 Z! u0 N4 X$ _( M( P3 mReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. 8 Y5 Z4 b8 d- f/ C, \& g
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Throw wet towel on bed.
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$ v" p, Y7 c/ K4 ^8 t; I1 z3 [4 P- VIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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