 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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( V! B1 D2 C# e2 L8 S4 U0 O+ N6 fTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.$ Y1 L5 k- d' g5 B
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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4 c1 S# ^! Q8 ?: [. G# N @Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
$ t0 P- W& P# i4 A3 e0 W, ]3 V gmake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.. t ]: y/ Q! ]9 J
2 U( c: L' S6 r5 ?" FGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. ! h9 t6 x5 Y! r: ?. }% X
! d, n4 _ e6 g' m) N2 O& S# d6 qWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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4 i N0 N: X" t: S( x1 }2 WWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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6 n' G& S0 e4 d3 }5 O# VCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. ! j2 k* j, S* |! d5 N( U+ N
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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Rinse conditioner off hair. o4 E" d/ g+ m* X* C- b
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Shave armpits and legs.! b. N/ v! j- ^8 ]; p
. K9 O" j# ~6 L% \8 [9 a8 bTurn off shower.
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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Spray mold spots with Tilex. % F* k; y) F! `) T! l" o
( V$ q3 N4 f" ~! i2 r% \& iGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. 3 E) `% |7 y3 ]( |; J
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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( S, ]; v9 q: Q( c! m( SWalk naked to the bathroom.
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m9 F6 F7 }# l' ?3 [If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. 1 v1 [4 O0 S( @) e2 T7 Y' l
7 p3 W, Y9 R1 B6 V. R0 {$ |* xGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. 1 w: S" m2 u* W. Q0 M! Y
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. / h$ Z# H9 q+ D
" T: V% f2 g* U$ Q9 U5 } HFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. , F# s" B: b0 u2 p
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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% z1 J9 c/ S8 F+ c. p/ u3 g# u GWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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Pee.
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; x6 d: P$ ~' R: TRinse off and get out of shower. 6 _! V; M+ k7 A
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Partially dry off.2 K! Z1 b( H, q8 n- Y2 l6 t0 ]
3 M g& k0 r+ P! |* Y- hFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. 4 ^! j0 ?3 T3 r) D1 w! {7 c
# }8 S5 V! E4 J* m1 P5 yAdmire wiener size in mirror again.
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2 V4 Z) r: T' ^# m8 @Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. : a& [* Z0 S7 z" C
0 {9 O+ `" ~9 \5 pReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. 1 n" T5 H* X0 a. q; N
: n4 @+ x8 F! tThrow wet towel on bed. ) }- U0 ~+ B& a+ z
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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