 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : / ]6 s& w7 g. J u! T( x7 k
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- N: m6 @0 T1 u0 U2 Z9 W: Q% @, ~! MTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. , d4 }" B" \( Q) T* H9 e/ \
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.9 o( g3 _. z; M# T: X3 ~; p
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- ) V7 `+ G. ^' o$ h$ {
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.# T4 j m% q4 b0 m9 A$ g
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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, D# g, U: v! }8 }Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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) Q! e* E0 U7 ^* r9 Q9 n7 X* \Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.$ U- `& C: k3 i. Z+ T5 ^7 {7 k
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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# z5 v1 ]( C9 S1 Z, A; D+ `Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. 8 E% ]4 l, d- _' [. b7 A" F' ]
+ M: D/ ~0 D- k3 i! [8 \- o1 o$ SWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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Rinse conditioner off hair.+ J5 C8 q" _2 R8 M4 q8 ?
9 w6 e3 w' F! e6 H& S' u& cShave armpits and legs.
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; g. J v& g0 ~4 u, BTurn off shower.
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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, k& ?% r0 V. @% aSpray mold spots with Tilex.
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7 D# r5 @3 ~/ b: L1 D2 h1 HGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. % h1 l: v& g/ |2 K6 D w2 h
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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+ m A1 z3 p# E6 {4 v8 q, QReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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1 {4 w) q% K+ s A' t# a, nIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. , H# P% d3 K% p( l
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: 8 h( K P; X& M) K
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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Walk naked to the bathroom.9 H/ J) W) C9 \: F" J" G
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. " g" K0 F" n# `! c
, T1 z0 U9 Z, X8 o5 JLook at your manly physique in the mirror. `. \; C5 `$ r1 o
, r* C, h" h- j9 l9 L! l3 m; T& j; pAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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. w, o+ e* c2 x: v% a$ vGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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2 E$ c9 o+ T9 ^/ E. ]Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. ! [& W) @1 s% c" E
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. 6 Y& k' x* g# S* Y7 j
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. . f; L& d( G# w: u) s2 U
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. . ] j+ x) `! O- s4 ] j
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( a1 X. E+ Y- zRinse off and get out of shower.
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" s- y+ `5 [9 {5 _3 ePartially dry off., {( l0 `4 i- x" v1 Y5 v
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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Admire wiener size in mirror again. 2 I( C2 @; x1 {( f: n
' V% B3 |# J" C5 ILeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. 0 n/ D0 E, `+ l- C, ?+ J: o0 b
1 {- s* t4 _ z: o: m+ J- QReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. 0 D: E7 y E0 g& ?: i* @
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Throw wet towel on bed. 1 b- n, j& s, S/ t2 ?
) ~6 X0 Q) J$ X) XIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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