 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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0 b2 h# ]: |' p; P* w, f7 I/ hTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.- n/ q0 t" i8 j: }6 _0 b1 D) M
3 R* Z+ A% r+ _4 a" m/ g! w5 w9 EWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. " O6 q. ~% ^, L6 m0 ]' q* z
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.$ l6 ], q4 T) ?. M
; A2 r0 `& `, xLook at your womanly physique in the mirror --
% L7 _% L$ Z3 X& i7 I8 C( Rmake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.0 ?" R& k0 h( n7 e; H/ I; P
2 \+ j6 h% l% [/ OGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. " o( N2 b9 L; c. g$ M
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.+ G% N4 p" N7 f+ p( ] J0 f7 P
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.. _/ D" k% y7 p3 ^( K+ \- h
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. $ `3 v' L# \8 b0 z5 `0 K' b, R* J4 Z
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. & t; r- j z* w o6 W6 J
: [1 A; Q) Q. |% ^Rinse conditioner off hair.( Q0 a/ ?; M0 W1 {' Z. k& w
" v- [% q N4 X# n# t* ~' aShave armpits and legs.
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Turn off shower., f2 d$ t' {, @7 Y( T, a$ r
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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^) Q s% t& Y- k* _& JSpray mold spots with Tilex.
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" E# u$ ~" t% ^' F4 B& D9 ~Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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$ [0 R9 P# D5 B( B9 qWrap hair in super absorbent towel. 0 P* e, y3 h! |
! C0 k4 _, J. z8 h. r4 p5 L* j1 YReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. : m+ K/ @8 S0 b3 M& B
/ R. X1 V U7 N2 UIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. 7 x7 ?% t! C' T+ B; {- W
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" i* i( T% Y; w+ V9 q3 SHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. : w2 d* ?/ X$ P, G/ G
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Walk naked to the bathroom.
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, W) N" O7 C7 k5 D( u' C& R; gIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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3 s z, B* y4 }. pGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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* b* X9 O) a8 Q: _Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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8 Z# f- Y/ ~/ HFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. 3 _ r% W2 P$ Z/ Y# B
" }. z$ |( g, g H! p4 GSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. ' p- |/ b0 z$ T/ F8 o4 i( F P0 v
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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& T9 b3 [% r* n% h/ t2 G; hWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. ' ^8 k5 x" A" H+ @8 R- i$ l1 U
/ ?$ k; `5 f8 G4 l1 V) i: fPee.
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- v& z( u; c' Q% \" x) `Rinse off and get out of shower.
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; u6 _0 A1 `/ ~* c g* g$ l0 }/ `Partially dry off.7 k' p- ]* _' h ?% |$ l a9 }( J
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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Admire wiener size in mirror again.
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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1 { | U8 O6 D tReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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Throw wet towel on bed. ! T" U; T: m9 K$ ]
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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