 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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( p, ^, d8 e( e2 X% {Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.- m' p: c# C: b" `
! ?* X6 S. X9 _& O* aWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. ) d# M# ]! a4 E; j
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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" M, y6 J/ a1 b, V% qLook at your womanly physique in the mirror --
5 h6 n9 G1 j: E+ y. `3 i4 Tmake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. # J2 t/ k3 j! U! Z- M
1 F8 w( I& E7 Z+ x6 r% _Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. , o; W. g! d h, b7 p
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.8 Z& W9 |: t% e/ S3 z4 d3 g9 `
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. . V M' T# L- y* c8 ~: ^, K
* m+ @8 T% h( u% m' W7 B" eWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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Rinse conditioner off hair.; X/ v: v2 g+ X% W/ ^
) S! n% ~/ ]: Y1 x" eShave armpits and legs.
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, ?5 V. I$ h P9 b5 YTurn off shower.
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$ D* h2 e* `7 ZSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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7 {/ Y, |, z6 |( e- ?# BSpray mold spots with Tilex. * }$ x: m$ X1 K6 M! V* A; g
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. 4 p' `( Y" ^9 T/ f- X4 ]# W
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. $ G6 P3 a0 H* n
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. 7 I7 p/ I/ z& z% u# K- i9 u
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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! G) R9 g# I: o( r! I% XTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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Walk naked to the bathroom.6 T1 Q* r! h1 v
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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9 o' h. G- V6 k6 j7 y& s; @" VLook at your manly physique in the mirror.
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. 5 c' ], x3 o. C
' j7 b& m) P3 D7 Z2 vGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. 4 t$ u, l5 g1 T4 M, j/ r
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. - h. ~3 l1 v4 L2 L7 c* ?! K4 G
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. $ Z% s1 _- b. b, B
" D7 ]8 O# r; h( ~ U( kWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. : @3 Z, t ^$ S$ p4 K0 u7 u
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. ! L6 }, _+ }7 b, S+ m7 ~2 N8 e2 G a
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Pee. 8 G: l7 n$ ^- ~9 f E& v
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Rinse off and get out of shower.
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Partially dry off.0 V! R) ~1 J; C
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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Admire wiener size in mirror again. ! W2 \) K% q: b2 o
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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Throw wet towel on bed.
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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