 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : ' o( k; l% H1 q) Y
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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: c6 [" t8 p( m6 R6 L: c zIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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9 \! ]; Q7 {0 H! f5 A9 q3 j3 vLook at your womanly physique in the mirror -- 4 P, J7 a6 ~* c! {3 J
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.3 L% \1 q9 b! W
* v2 K7 M, H6 U H3 E/ @, ~) LGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. 5 M9 }# u% p; v" J. ?4 R
' l5 e! x# W: \$ }2 f. @8 v" OWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. . @; }4 v6 c+ J4 j, E2 o- I
' g* B$ e% G# c0 [4 g7 J6 DWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.$ c9 L- k1 j# }9 k$ H+ x& |
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..# T! x) N' o3 N. w9 V
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. , `6 E! S6 L) F+ `. j( }
E6 y4 G* E1 E1 g8 m+ ZWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. " Q4 J/ w. u& K% b* `, N
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Rinse conditioner off hair.+ J! I3 l$ p' `) i* `9 a" E) g
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Shave armpits and legs.
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' s3 o0 ^. @4 x# F& C! c* @; }1 UTurn off shower.
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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Spray mold spots with Tilex. * P' X; I4 x. A5 f. i. Y
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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9 z5 _# v2 U" D2 }% f0 O& QWrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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1 j% H* n% n. [3 O3 `; ~" RReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. - V5 s1 A: f) ~3 X8 C
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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Walk naked to the bathroom.
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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* R* i8 o& X, Z8 V5 {. R$ h9 XGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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! b+ G4 e/ A6 @0 y$ vBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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( q9 T8 f+ C( m8 A; Z* G4 ]4 yFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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) b/ o/ }7 ?" T3 R1 mWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. " J G0 ]9 k9 J- f7 O% k2 P* \
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Pee.
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Rinse off and get out of shower. $ a. A+ q( G: o( v3 v' D. o/ M+ |
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Partially dry off.
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$ i7 F- E; O$ ~+ U$ X! J8 VFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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Admire wiener size in mirror again.
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. ' u* }7 C, F+ t p% |9 k
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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7 [: {* V5 V2 ~" G* NThrow wet towel on bed.
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2 N* Q7 y) W) }If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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