 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : ( u$ ]+ [5 F9 [$ _" H0 L0 H* |
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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0 _ H5 f8 h3 t) n$ KWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. - F4 C5 V. {% _, p
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
7 Z9 _4 \ c, D: H, _make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.; d* |& p/ V! s
2 Q2 u) A# B nGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. / F3 s+ `% s7 z
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. - T0 H& X3 G2 o1 \$ m( w7 i4 X
& s1 h: ~. H2 R* K! p' qWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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; {/ w$ W. q. m3 p, aCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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9 v: K6 I) ~" h# r' z" _! _Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. 7 A/ p, \3 ?* w* u9 x7 i2 |
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. 8 m; p$ X t7 s6 Q
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Rinse conditioner off hair. Z$ f! e) A, e8 M- J5 I0 E
2 _* r3 O) r OShave armpits and legs.
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9 d0 x+ X& k' ^1 g# s& X" OTurn off shower.* W. n7 h j' _ n Y+ O* g
3 i! u& m' ^# r2 }0 c% GSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower./ K# e5 r4 c, \
# w0 M5 g. t- B; qSpray mold spots with Tilex.
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" m! p% e" s: Z( y( V' ?" ~: wGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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: S) a1 k0 M$ t# i( G" tWrap hair in super absorbent towel. " C4 e% Y/ Q+ e% k" X
W4 Z0 C2 x' |$ S; bReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. 5 @( ^; {6 W1 V9 g) d6 t a0 k: p
* O; A1 e8 G0 c! y; \If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. ' }! ~* J4 o4 x! m
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6 O9 l/ {. o3 L9 gHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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9 ~9 L" D9 k: O- K* j" J2 VTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. " k! n' K+ V& z
3 [% ~ G- l+ p, h0 K, {+ _! B& U% RWalk naked to the bathroom.3 Z+ S1 p* P r6 b
4 P, a8 y; v) q8 c# N7 e, z! PIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror. : I% p1 `+ M) m3 |/ u$ N0 ~& n3 C
5 X* {& T) m- }- FAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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" T }# g% F( q0 a$ D+ c) fGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. 9 f n7 b6 M {2 y( m2 ?
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. " b# I4 g0 ?* M4 l% ~. D
& y9 \2 B) J; x8 s# ZFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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2 C8 h7 ^8 M y) r @Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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' L) G G; v9 bWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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Pee.
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Rinse off and get out of shower.
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/ K$ [! o4 p) X% Z, {2 u! XPartially dry off.( T; j% \, P1 M/ Q) r/ c
/ ^8 B1 l* d/ p; R; Z2 @Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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Admire wiener size in mirror again.
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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7 {# I2 Q4 H, ]( ]Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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0 A6 ^& I1 f8 k2 ZThrow wet towel on bed.
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( O; |4 \8 L1 @If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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