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* @) Y& S* s7 M7 kWhy did God make mothers?
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1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.; A3 a* z! F8 e& c- R `7 k2 J
2. Mostly to clean the house.
5 _. q3 n1 x; D# h5 i0 y7 T" k& U3. To help us out of there when we were getting born. 9 t7 C4 S- m C8 f+ Y% N s
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How did God make mothers? 2 @2 p9 A' L- N/ h6 W7 b1 z
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2 \0 A1 j. W! }$ O; {: `( y2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring. 0 Q1 L; P$ {1 m5 ~, {8 X
3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts. + B$ j4 k$ J: S% \; N/ X+ b0 v$ C
/ [/ U% Q& \6 y& JWhat ingredients are mothers made of ?
" T& K. | T0 f g8 @/ R1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean. 1 `4 Q5 ]4 x0 j$ u: d) [
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.
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: h9 @ e; R: T, g# Y5 l i* wWhy did God give you your mother and not some other mom? ) j2 \' F* Y& k6 X
1. We're related.9 m2 X" g/ f2 U( @$ P, I' [
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me. 4 s- e+ Y/ F, X9 j Q
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What kind of little girl was your mom? 8 m( G, j$ V2 {; o8 v2 o& _+ G
1. My Mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
9 F8 h# W8 P! z2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy. 2 l, s: N0 s% N% m0 j1 z) [$ Z8 g
3. They say she used to be nice.
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What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?
; b- L! k( W4 B+ c1. His last name.
6 R+ U* ~- r* b* ^2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
7 T2 p: o% R) w* K3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores? 6 m w' {8 G% _. e, |
. s* m, O$ K8 p" ]Why did your mom marry your dad?
8 n, S$ j4 c8 o- X, [) }3 E1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.
5 \! C. s/ J& ]+ V2. She got too old to do anything else with him. 1 _# k9 @! D: W! V1 }$ Z
3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.
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+ G$ x' w, K* ^0 h5 {Who's the boss at your house? + A. L* C( d$ H* e3 @/ ^$ t
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
, R, q5 i1 }/ g. s6 J2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
1 J0 n! t7 n) s3 u$ ^- L2 f3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad. $ ~( e8 b" r0 W9 X% p( _, ^# \
. G- t: u; ~7 v, h1 S% Q6 [What's the difference between moms & dads? % t' q1 r. f3 v# T* b
1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.
! d/ P3 w+ u* m3 b. g$ |2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.0 O+ D! T9 c+ |2 Q f1 A( t
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's. 9 p) O: ]( P0 p+ _7 q
4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine. - _5 z$ s7 w9 s, v+ o. U$ O" K
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What does your mom do in her spare time? ! \7 f( Y8 f- [' X1 S4 @
1. Mothers don't do spare time.! {, A! N) N% x: t* y$ d1 e1 F
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long. # M7 g! q% y7 T2 q- n
8 K: |+ d% {0 j. I4 U( RWhat would it take to make your mom perfect?
8 {7 `5 L2 r, K4 t; u( B1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
+ [! l' x! \6 Z4 `9 V, ?- |2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.
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If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be? $ ^( b* b. J5 S/ @1 h
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
1 c B+ b. ?8 l2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
) P/ D. Z X" u5 h: Y. _3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head. ) }1 `& D: }6 R$ U
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