送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON，ALBERTA的朋友

acsm6

NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA

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1. Bring your own house.
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  S7 ^8 c1 B( M 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
6 T- ?& Z9 S$ c) mhospital.
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5 T* h" B! a' k9 H+ N 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
+ W+ P- k) [( k: Pcapital of Canada .

6 r: P( |! G. Z! M( H( ]% I  x 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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( Q  E5 s$ A* ?# S. H 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
/ Z0 h# v4 a4 ?. e2 t) h& X, ?capital of Canada .

6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
$8.00/hour.
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, h; D/ R& z. S/ n  G 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.

& P  V, a3 Z2 f( X" }" q/ G2 T 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
on a 15 year holiday ?
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/ w: n- G" A& }5 d& P$ \5 L, a& m0 K 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
1 P6 ], Z5 s9 T( D& V1 {$ Lprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)

10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
' d- i1 P0 r+ f) i; K1 ahere sick.
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0 l$ n4 U$ ~* U  e: s, F11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.

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+ t8 e- q* V: c1 ?  W9 E+ r" }4 W( k  ^ THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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" {. P" q. W: n' l2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
! f# G' W& Y( o% `8 R9 x8 @6 Zis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
6 Y3 Y1 b: T4 Tmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.

4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
5 E: I2 j6 d5 F2 kcussed out, and possibly shot.

8 B) K" v8 R; h5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
3 M0 P& H; x) |' lcan get you shot.
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! O8 O& |  Q# @0 j' `6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
3 V7 M$ j6 f# [2 U0 p6 tday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
& T3 a- M( N6 hmore construction starts everyday.

& C! e: F7 H5 i3 H/ h- z7 x( U' ?  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
. J$ S  e: @  mdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.

% a1 Z6 v3 d$ {' j+ ?: L8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
the same road.
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; Y: n3 x5 n, L& g9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
activated."

, [2 l/ @4 R" i% M9 ]( Q; P10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
8 \4 i5 O- T, C. R2 \! Lzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.

" v- T2 L, }# U- o+ G$ Y8 d11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
- k! [' U, T5 a' s7 W/ |virtually non-existent until the spring thaw.

大头熊

有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人，大部分人都活下来了。

kaleli

又是一个挨砖的帖子。

人生几何

紫光

西红柿酸

HOAH

朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
2 v" Q8 N+ t# P6 E有一个人，他骂了自己所在单位一辈子，由于长期持有一种心情，一种哀怨的表情，脸色都是土灰色的了，可就是没见他作出什么成就，已没有离开他的破单位，却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。

April

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 :
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此地钱多, 人傻, 速来
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[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]

pacibridge

原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
$ E6 X  I/ X5 Y: S6 g) X满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
...

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  d; }% I4 s1 C6 S& m& `# \ 说事，谈话题，别攻击人。什么素质？整个一厕所。

上酸菜

是原创吗？楼主太有才了，佩服啊！！

宁宁宝宝

HOAH

原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表


说事，谈话题，别攻击人。什么素质？整个一厕所。

! J' {  j/ c1 S0 T- H/ f7 f这么刺痛你了吗？
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9 z1 ~6 g& M& Y5 u; C# l0 v. s: K% a我可指的是极少数人，如果你不是，就别往自己身上想。

大头熊

原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
  }- g8 Y, |- B' t$ H* p朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
' U' Y' d+ Q. {" ~2 A满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
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0 {. R: l4 B3 o你这样不太好吧！每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬，好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。
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  w0 V7 I. h" ]+ p4 ]; i+ [7 p再次申明我的观点，Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。

Yang123

埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!

MyFairy

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.
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lalah

就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊

兔宝宝

以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.