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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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* h4 w* U. V# E( j! r# Z 1. Bring your own house." {& R6 g+ b) o
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and; H* {5 Z ^+ K4 f
hospital.9 h* F( d% s* }
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder) }6 f3 Y% I: N
capital of Canada .+ x. p: f' b9 M
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .& B4 p" V- |( j6 Z6 W) ^& _
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug" Z. x7 h8 h1 W3 R8 G$ D; ~: O: Y
capital of Canada .
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+ u: r' T- F, V: D! S- D8 _ 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
4 y' H; S' a- t! B' A) f$8.00/hour.- }( P$ C3 M7 U5 ~: A2 J+ L
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money* W5 _3 Z0 C# r; O
on a 15 year holiday ?" F# B( p$ s: T8 ?( S
4 x8 _. R; Q1 C( g1 [: {/ B 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas, z3 a( E2 a% V& K8 H1 |9 [9 i
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage); S( n+ D9 L0 Q; e0 Q! A
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come' r1 w: S4 l, n$ G
here sick.
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$ r) l& N) Z& E2 c- j3 S. w11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
+ M( |9 Q0 M% q4 D% Y* S- u; \+ gyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :% o- E5 b W! \( F: Z; N" p
, z* D" {9 L* f: U5 v6 i. }1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".. V3 K H+ Q. W1 k4 G
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
0 b- \3 q, _0 U: c) U( N0 ~; J( tis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its3 h$ S8 ]4 H1 d! R0 Q5 ^ j
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
2 p& |0 O3 b: e: B6 B6 Hmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
b. r1 l. u# jgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell9 A- O+ `9 k* r: p/ b$ x8 i& _/ f
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,0 K1 M: j, ?* A# F+ e( A6 S, ~
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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! G4 z& H7 t$ t+ ?5 |0 e. n5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
# j I2 d$ t1 E2 Lcan get you shot.5 M8 O& n" B# c5 R9 d
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
; c2 y( I% r% t8 q3 l+ p( Pbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
! S& q1 M: B$ U4 E Sday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and: Z2 Z- W5 Z5 Y, h; `
more construction starts everyday.* I7 i3 X$ O8 ^
- E, }. y, i2 Z" \) R" {! Z 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
/ n' H! L. e q! \" M- ndeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,+ F* J" ^- I: ^& E1 N
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.2 N4 t4 O h% a4 } B
1 K$ s) o' g9 d2 h4 c3 q& x$ ~8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all+ h; W+ d3 z' x2 D1 @" Q8 C
the same road. l# t' B# E1 e$ ]
) w } h1 L; U3 z9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
: D$ c2 \: K8 M$ L, l3 wshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally: i7 ] y% R) w
activated.". R r r' b0 u4 T2 f0 u* S. T
, T# q- _6 l1 u$ P+ g+ k, D10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km* { v2 p1 t4 h& | \' S8 W4 }
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off". y1 t% K2 J: v& S5 h$ y0 H
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.) X: f0 A6 i- U6 o
8 T7 j- @. P4 }2 W, L. H11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
3 W9 h2 I+ |8 R: @9 h+ p) Q1 i' Tlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and4 a: `! Y9 b" q/ C! y1 X6 `
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
( j8 @5 E0 E; c6 o9 Xvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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