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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA/ G/ P* l" t* ~7 X4 I$ h
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1. Bring your own house.
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% w* t/ [4 d. j$ k0 d 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and3 H k. v) Q" U9 a' g
hospital.
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4 U% _: o3 t& ~ T 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
4 a% i: p3 Y) ycapital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .) _4 l; w- e8 q. d7 w$ u
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug9 l M- D' M9 O- [$ m& q; ~
capital of Canada .5 J$ R9 `1 h, } i2 O! M
0 s2 O4 c7 X% b6 j: Q 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
/ y: B5 y2 u3 r0 S, W2 W) K$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.$ l/ C7 w8 I5 N: P7 g! Y
) m1 N- V6 f& y1 p8 l; _* F; n 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money8 w) e. P" g+ H
on a 15 year holiday ?) I* x4 k& n0 U+ t8 ^9 `
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas" l( f6 R. K" W0 t: F8 O+ T# L
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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) z5 z, }: d) n3 b T/ c11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 129 g5 E S7 a4 _' q( P& [- H* P. E
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.6 H: H. F. v6 \' R. k
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1 V8 S" M6 p. \: O8 ^ THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".8 b! j4 F2 [# C+ q1 V: n" M
5 f& c: ~. k6 L2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour6 F! h& L q( x8 [
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.3 T- [/ L: S. F8 i
$ W4 q6 i, a2 ]3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its% ?4 E9 G8 k' `1 A
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
* D6 G) L5 Z; {# |muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires! y2 t. X& }! O- D
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell/ k! J$ J) ]+ A
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,% t. |3 S! y: @/ Y* L" `
cussed out, and possibly shot. T# f7 L7 l+ @
$ r6 H' j& ?& `, m" e5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that+ Q6 v1 } ]9 A0 f7 D3 P( R
can get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
' F: A J/ C7 N; o9 abarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
2 X! k# ~3 h) l; t8 rday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
7 O0 F/ t9 S& i' Rmore construction starts everyday.$ Q. \7 X7 g9 z6 R
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
$ E7 v# v. N% Q5 G0 bdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,# ]4 n# {& C3 p* l8 y# @
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
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activated."
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. f* {6 ]( p+ X: ~. s# @10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km/ I2 O3 s, N% @/ O/ x2 E' k% Z
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
# @# t* E0 z7 H, { D+ |' {1 raccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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+ _ x$ s) S3 Q9 p! J. V% k% o11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
: G2 v, x6 y, L$ H6 V& ~+ Alined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and6 R/ z# V; b# y& X
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
2 T+ d/ J% `* Hvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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