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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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+ F' ?: B. ~: S 1. Bring your own house.
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; o* M0 e2 z _' s J: J s 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
* @& w) J1 {6 n% Z% ^/ ` P l. Hhospital.
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1 r0 f: \2 S, }" w& Y 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder& T8 `' k+ \/ g
capital of Canada . p3 Y$ R; K _1 \' D
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .& b4 k/ V. m( K8 r4 I1 v% m
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug* m/ E( J( j) s$ s/ U
capital of Canada .
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, O5 A$ r" d# g) L1 I, ~* F& [ 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is( Q4 ~. Y1 Y+ k# m- S
$8.00/hour.' Z, f$ M5 H2 ]2 }6 J! ~
3 B% s: Z' V% s) A& j 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.% Q/ m! m6 w- [4 v: G; M
, k' D0 K: t B5 K/ D) F [ 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money, T& z- s9 c3 \1 |9 I, g l0 ~
on a 15 year holiday ?1 t- {* X& K+ v" v0 c# {
; ^, E3 A( P8 q, \% \$ Q9 o6 H$ n' P+ c 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
3 d; H! Q. d+ H" M7 pprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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5 l7 O- P1 k! [- _6 O+ {10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
$ {- s3 {; G; x0 bhere sick.
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3 U8 f+ v1 [% B! h# B- q( d11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
" U& ]8 {7 {- @' |. xyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone." s' r$ ]2 B5 n6 z3 t! v
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :6 u& f! i# n0 {, [) A7 p/ ~
3 E- [" c% H C2 k I: B0 G7 [3 v1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".+ X# {0 D1 v; Y" ?" l& V) j$ m3 X
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour( p1 P$ w9 I$ L6 r v0 F
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
, N5 N0 y$ p2 o" V1 y0 L" Town version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest, `- _ a$ c# |% I8 e6 L/ Q
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
; r: x" E( T; P% }8 Tgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell" h: ^! `+ V& s6 ?5 X1 E; J
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.3 b0 L0 P1 |: |, }9 L& s* K6 g4 e
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,& |: f0 {4 t& y) G; Y- A
cussed out, and possibly shot." H( n3 D+ R) R2 z
" Z7 f/ J1 `8 W8 v2 `4 e H5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that1 F- Y; C v; b1 [& u4 `+ h
can get you shot.
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+ q$ d/ q7 p7 R, `1 _6 i4 V6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour2 V2 u8 y3 @4 U# ^! e9 j
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
8 c; I. A! w: e+ Y4 Iday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and4 o7 i. ?4 o8 d: Q% h) Q
more construction starts everyday.
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,8 R7 d/ g5 ^. y6 h0 u, o8 g; C$ k* d9 ]
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
$ g" N ^, |6 Y7 ~+ _squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the# w8 r ~) |% N( u. R: O8 X# u
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally2 f+ }* f# E) ?. V" j
activated."
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
1 w( y; ~4 k8 ^5 ^+ xzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"/ N0 B. L8 [& B- P/ B
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.( o" A. h+ G4 @8 ]$ v; R
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
2 Y/ v+ [4 d0 O* d# [9 C9 Ilined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
7 q* X* n5 g' D* c0 I& w0 |1 \" Zblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is+ S4 o. k8 u& T) e
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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