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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA& z: c' R" E8 H6 G
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+ H( s0 H( ~( g) S; `. Y# p; F 1. Bring your own house.7 { u6 f9 z; a( [! y
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder2 a- |+ P* t* n; q" ^" Y4 l
capital of Canada .: m8 C( `) P+ W- a( S
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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: i) `1 W& y9 p2 ? 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
1 l$ o7 _( i( N1 {4 jcapital of Canada .
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, i: B8 a- m& {4 T! K& ^; O 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is, `( y- R* D4 r( }6 `
$8.00/hour.0 W7 Z' t& }+ A$ J v8 b4 X$ |# g) b# o" U
( F; T9 Z' T$ K6 ^, q. h+ ~+ ?, g 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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- Z8 m- b3 }+ g# l 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money0 d* Z; a" |1 r+ X9 s
on a 15 year holiday ?2 P; E8 S* V- L" F( o, j* A' i0 D
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
4 c$ t k* N; b+ G. ?+ sprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come2 q2 q1 ]# x! \5 V5 M( g4 Q
here sick.. y, i! h" H% e/ n$ ?; Q' Q: x8 E
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 120 S/ B4 c: m) R. c* q
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.4 w6 u. I, _4 R5 [- T
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m$ Z) f1 c4 g3 ^& n8 q2 p v7 w THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour: ~# ]/ J0 A P: ?* v1 T3 X7 W
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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% V+ V, ?* a$ q2 J! c- Z' P$ r3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its# M9 [" O; @* l( }5 Y1 V
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
. t5 I! l3 S- umuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires: D7 |: Z- ] s( K* X+ ~: l
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
) N0 O. t( g. {' b4 nphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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7 b1 s* E4 Q( C( z7 |/ n$ T, u7 F4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,9 b4 Y. }' p* ]) J; w) \( r0 Y8 u
cussed out, and possibly shot., u: s6 p- l( M
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that# k6 R7 n. q3 T1 l5 I
can get you shot.: U8 c& g! X; H1 ?$ Y
+ \0 u; i: X F. ~6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour! Z1 ]! p$ E& Z# b7 Z( `" v) z/ R9 W
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
5 }# n5 g- I( \7 dday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
- A) ?' ]! k* [1 A0 S% K) }more construction starts everyday.5 B% d1 r. n/ o! H) ]
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
J' g7 i' M1 w% l* ~$ Sdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,1 B$ }+ x( [5 k1 v
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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+ w: w3 b! S: ^8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
; p5 r1 T* M h& p; ~# p. u3 vthe same road.
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9 P# o8 W( @0 @0 l$ Z9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
1 V8 Q9 _8 [# f( ]shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally" g }4 e, K7 a4 l# L! j
activated."# M5 }$ Q- m0 P+ @% G2 P8 x) G
* h: V* }' s! \ |10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
: p, u" \ A* i3 ezone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off") Y" Q2 {; {. c, t, Q( E) I& W+ T
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.2 u1 U9 R! g7 l5 U3 Z2 v: u8 Q
. _$ g& P. }/ C! M( c11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur3 f. M4 R# [8 N" |) \
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and! d+ d8 e; ?7 L6 q" F O5 P
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
H) J% j. e0 ~9 O* zvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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