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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA8 q% u6 }5 f' m1 ^* @
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1. Bring your own house.. f& e7 E% {4 b. `0 d
1 m/ `1 m5 W& G8 r 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and; r$ v5 p2 ]3 o7 P0 H: \
hospital.. r4 g; S- e/ T( r7 D
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder+ F! X3 |( o5 Z4 z" V
capital of Canada .
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+ F! W0 b+ Q* a 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .7 o; O$ b- ]3 O
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
X( A& p0 x! H& @1 ~( ^capital of Canada .8 e; [# [+ @' R$ I* `1 K1 ]6 T
}/ p; ]# O' p& ?) R 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is* {0 L+ _# [% Y- o
$8.00/hour.7 V; ?' S0 U! L2 f, U
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
/ F/ `! [) r5 `; f) [3 z2 ]; ?" b+ hon a 15 year holiday ?, q! q; S4 C/ E0 O% z' w; H' `
3 D- M' ?! D: X3 [# }" H 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas- Q' m: i4 v( F
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
$ Q' Z& i8 [! uhere sick.
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7 X7 s* d( u G11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 123 r! ]3 J: O" g2 A
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.- \/ Z, b' G6 ~" u2 _( d
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, O2 D( @% Z2 v4 n1 k+ E! L THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".$ T8 X% X7 g, |5 f/ H0 w% P3 J( {
) V/ t6 w5 x) m$ z3 G% X2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
: ?4 l% Y7 b1 o$ gis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.9 K! g/ ?5 f0 v& A- }! {; j# Z
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its6 N$ m2 O, |# s0 k' [0 V
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest/ Z- K7 _ a7 |* m0 K
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires! W/ }6 `# i0 D2 \7 D# i
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell( b/ H, Z3 A2 H$ ^
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.; `! @, q& e; {* N/ Q* d% }
2 b t/ E# s( V+ u; x4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
5 v% }3 r* }# ecussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that5 u, L+ r0 d3 F' {
can get you shot., Y4 o% V3 d0 \5 C
0 \5 E/ K, D' C5 l6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
5 e3 x {2 {$ |7 [9 C9 Qbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
5 C+ k0 R9 k; J; c8 |7 ]# Zday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and ]/ U) s% V' ]8 B) ?. U
more construction starts everyday.
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8 x1 P! S) B& }* z+ m; S 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,/ y% z" T' X8 P
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,# N* c, G }9 `4 u& s4 j
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
8 q8 F# Q- O3 L. U2 f1 V* m% ?the same road.
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: G/ w' T8 [8 f! F; H7 l+ G' M9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the& F: s0 k% e% ^' ~8 S
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally5 ~- z8 t- \, P& y6 A
activated."5 r, f0 R% m4 c) b; S- h* M; k8 R; |1 v
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km8 I/ m/ a- j- k$ w. p2 f& N0 b
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"/ M+ \6 z2 ~2 c. `( e1 N
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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7 L1 g" L$ ^9 g; |/ X11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur: T1 h f8 a, a9 l7 e' k$ L
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
5 L5 b4 c7 J& A* ]blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
) M& g9 w7 I, l" o1 C% E/ rvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
