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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA; F: h+ @- h, t7 Q0 T( M
/ U* V( D3 W# n& e1. Vancouver: 1.5 million people and two bridges. You do the math.
/ F7 v) q" k7 B0 Y" t; [+ H- e2. Your $400,000 Vancouver home is just 5 hours from downtown.
6 Z0 `4 p1 R0 s8 M7 B3. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations. / M! }; ~ B' b" {
4. There's always some sort of deforestation protest going on.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ALBERTA % f$ z( p V* t3 O4 P
) r# k+ w2 ] p6 B3 \1. Big rock between you and B.C. 2 i" F: e D8 d
2. Ottawa who?9 j" b W( U1 i+ s
3. Tax is 6% instead of approximately 20% as it is for the rest of the country. ; p/ q& }: y |, N U, \6 ~
4. You can exploit almost any natural resource you can think of.
. Y$ p' e, }$ ?5 ^$ A: G5. You live in the only province that could actually afford to be its own country. 4 g0 }1 T! D9 W8 e. q5 \( G
6. The Americans below you are all in anti-government militia groups. 0 g5 m; d9 w% N7 H! W' h
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN SASKATCHEWAN
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1. You never run out of wheat. - p) n! T8 L; H( s
2. Your province is really easy to draw.
, @; D0 v( k) A: ], N# ]% [6 ?" M7 ~3. You can watch the dog run away from home for hours. ) @" T! x/ A: I
4. People will assume you live on a farm. # M- y6 u4 y+ n, l8 {6 I/ k4 H4 t
9 W( t7 c5 y, A% `0 gTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA 9 B, [6 V* f+ j/ t* f! E
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1. You wake up one morning to find that you suddenly have a beachfront property. " j! A1 ]3 V# s; @+ M4 f7 B q$ H
2. Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes.
- y/ _3 @* ]+ W8 ]! p: I# F, Q3. Nothing compares to a wicked Winnipeg winter. + T1 c1 G( O- B& W
4. You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending on your mood. 5 _1 b0 F6 Z: j. a0 J
5. You can pass the time watching trucks and barns float by. X) @& Y$ W3 W# x* V! q. c+ a
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO e- o3 ^: f- x8 l
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1. You live in the centre of the universe.
7 Z( X- ?% {9 }5 [& k3 K0 ]! d0 Q2. Your $400,000 Toronto home is actually a dump.
4 K. p X9 f+ p9 H. v. [$ [% a9 [3. You and you alone decide who will win the federal election.
2 V1 m7 h' d7 }) L' r4. The only province with hard-core American-style crime. ( w& B& K& q. [. b: y
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC $ X% d) H1 y) h
3 k$ [( F% z4 I3 d6 _8 u) z1. Racism is socially acceptable
" m3 ?& g7 l3 c* s3 W% x* M2. You can take bets with your friends on which English neighbour will move out next. : o6 N; l/ V6 l2 X: D( C# n
3. Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in Canada.
2 F; N' y9 o' V" |. U( @4. You can blame all your problems on the "Anglo *
5 I ]6 \' ~* B0 X1 jTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK / n6 f; L- P7 A2 r- ^5 @) {
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1. One way or another, the government gets 98% of your income.
' u& Q; | D2 }+ l; Y2. You're poor, but not as poor as the Newfies. % L* Z7 G* Z( F5 h
3. No one ever blames anything on New Brunswick " A1 o H7 o* A2 }
4. Everybody has a grandfather who runs a lighthouse. ' L+ q7 w$ C+ m+ {, H/ r
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA % p9 A8 q; j7 _0 v5 V1 o9 A/ k
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1. Everyone can play the fiddle. The ones who can't, think they can. + o( x( ?4 C/ `$ ]4 ~
2. You can pretend to have Scottish heritage as an excuse to get drunk and wear a kilt.
% L# c% W- ~' r% f% C, q/ u3. You are the only reason Anne Murray makes money.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND
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f' Z. M$ U$ |# z6 g1. Even though more people live on Vancouver Island, you still got the big, new bridge.
4 a6 a7 m% n1 o/ Z+ f' T5 Q+ S2. You can walk across the province in half an hour. / p7 P$ x" l3 v, C9 I5 {
3. You can drive across the province in two minutes. ! ]5 b1 N# S9 x+ t
4. Everyone has been an extra on "Road to Avonlea."
& J3 m5 |( ?7 h* g7 a, G) d [7 n5. This is where all those tiny, red potatoes come from. 5 L0 L: g. D: z) S: f7 w" v! h L- L
6. You can confuse ships by turning your porch lights on and off at night.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEWFOUNDLAND
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1. If Quebec separates, you will float off to sea.
2 R7 h7 ~ r$ c0 Z2. If you do something stupid, you have a built-in excuse. 9 }1 L, q' P$ _3 s0 p- p
3. The workday is about two hours long.
! e- [* f$ H- g8 v, j) o6 {: k+ z+ T4. It is socially acceptable to wear your hip waders to your wedding |
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