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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA
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0 g, h. ^ j- U2 G/ `5 |1 p1. Vancouver: 1.5 million people and two bridges. You do the math. 2 Z; S% Z& Y* y9 d
2. Your $400,000 Vancouver home is just 5 hours from downtown. # [" P4 }( W7 @& r- u% q6 K
3. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations. $ ^4 ^+ \+ d1 O! L$ d. W
4. There's always some sort of deforestation protest going on.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ALBERTA 1 h/ [8 V1 F; E C, ]
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1. Big rock between you and B.C.
2 i& t' Z/ W, ]# U, q* y/ e2. Ottawa who?3 G* W$ _3 V4 X# J
3. Tax is 6% instead of approximately 20% as it is for the rest of the country. : I- [- w. C" s! ?, e
4. You can exploit almost any natural resource you can think of.
/ f+ q, Y7 N2 D b2 j5. You live in the only province that could actually afford to be its own country. - |1 p2 b5 o; R
6. The Americans below you are all in anti-government militia groups.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN SASKATCHEWAN 5 L0 v) j6 O" V7 i% e" \
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1. You never run out of wheat. 0 N' g6 [/ p0 E7 n0 E% q" ]- p
2. Your province is really easy to draw.
+ P1 A8 m: T `8 q3. You can watch the dog run away from home for hours. % E( X& F& [& i' D: O
4. People will assume you live on a farm.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA . k1 V& z% @# Z* J
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1. You wake up one morning to find that you suddenly have a beachfront property. % o' v- _1 K- g/ @, D
2. Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes. ! {$ G; [6 i3 K: g4 ` J/ K2 [& }
3. Nothing compares to a wicked Winnipeg winter.
2 a8 o1 P* j9 y8 ]$ ^* a4 k- n: I1 u- f4. You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending on your mood.
. L8 {! J) O0 N2 I5. You can pass the time watching trucks and barns float by.
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# \4 }- J2 C) J! H% W) m) f7 `TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO
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1. You live in the centre of the universe.
( e R) X9 f% P" e2. Your $400,000 Toronto home is actually a dump.
: K# [- U$ r# w5 h, h+ R3. You and you alone decide who will win the federal election. $ D2 o3 E# R/ I+ B+ m, v+ o
4. The only province with hard-core American-style crime. 3 @2 Y; U8 _ P/ w5 c9 L
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7 f/ M! W& w) fTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC
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1. Racism is socially acceptable
3 g9 K# }8 y4 M* s% f: p$ h2. You can take bets with your friends on which English neighbour will move out next. 2 }+ z' i, j# g+ u4 N
3. Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in Canada. + b/ S+ J+ j+ X3 Y
4. You can blame all your problems on the "Anglo *
8 O# v8 G6 O) I* O; i5 H+ a- @TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK
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1. One way or another, the government gets 98% of your income. 4 c$ A: ?+ Q2 }! e
2. You're poor, but not as poor as the Newfies.
8 }% H: D8 F$ p3 V% N3. No one ever blames anything on New Brunswick
, E& g5 H5 G1 [4 I, ~! t4. Everybody has a grandfather who runs a lighthouse.
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9 |4 a2 q4 Q; g1 B5 s) pTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA
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' N8 o/ E1 M: r* _! y4 o: J1. Everyone can play the fiddle. The ones who can't, think they can. , s& l, \+ R6 c" v$ y
2. You can pretend to have Scottish heritage as an excuse to get drunk and wear a kilt. / E$ L! s2 K9 D5 A
3. You are the only reason Anne Murray makes money.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND . I6 Q3 @5 |. O
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1. Even though more people live on Vancouver Island, you still got the big, new bridge.
$ b5 v Y% k9 h1 H [: i2. You can walk across the province in half an hour. % I' i$ Y- d6 |3 ]: h' P
3. You can drive across the province in two minutes.
/ u3 U" d: M. j7 W% c L4. Everyone has been an extra on "Road to Avonlea."
4 `6 W5 Y( I6 Y" l( S5. This is where all those tiny, red potatoes come from. ! x- a. K( @5 a5 }$ B: |% m
6. You can confuse ships by turning your porch lights on and off at night.
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$ x5 D# X+ `$ @( |TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEWFOUNDLAND
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1. If Quebec separates, you will float off to sea.
/ t& Y/ q5 |! @" G* _+ |2. If you do something stupid, you have a built-in excuse. & T- H* |3 B3 b# E% s# B
3. The workday is about two hours long.
) n- t0 ]! \+ t$ C1 d/ o/ z- T4. It is socially acceptable to wear your hip waders to your wedding |
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